mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Excellent!
Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!
- Thread starter Let'sgoflying!
- Start date
Excellent!
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”;
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”;
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Last one lol.
********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
azblackbird
Pattern Altitude
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
She turned, smiled and said, “business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
azblackbird
Pattern Altitude
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"
azblackbird
Pattern Altitude
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his Grandson to his bed... "Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me." "But grandpa" the Grandson replied... "I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead."
"You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambinos, some day you goina come home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
"You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambinos, some day you goina come home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
azblackbird
Pattern Altitude
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest wh**e, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this outrageous response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Larry's wh**e"
Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest wh**e, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this outrageous response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Larry's wh**e"
flyingcheesehead
Touchdown! Greaser!
Today I was at the bookstore; as I was wandering around, the clerk stopped me and offered to help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"
The clerk angrily said, "F**k off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes! That's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"
The clerk angrily said, "F**k off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes! That's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why??? Take a guess !!!
Think about it !
You're going to love this !
Ready?
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
What the hell did you expect, Pulitzer Prize material????
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why??? Take a guess !!!
Think about it !
You're going to love this !
Ready?
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
What the hell did you expect, Pulitzer Prize material????
I was down there two years ago on a missionary trip with a team of engineers and architects, designing renovations for a hospital damaged in the earthquake. Much, if not most, of Haiti looks exactly like that. Sad, and it really is difficult to help without doing more harm. There’s so much political corruption, dating back to the Papa Doc days, that the situation is nearly impossible.
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
One sunny day, three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary.
Each of them has a great big smile on their faces.
The Coroner examines the bodies and then calls the Inspector to tell him what has happened.
“First lifeless body Italian; 60, died of heart attack while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.
“Second lifeless body Spanish; 25, won a million pounds on the lottery, drunk too much tequila, whisky, vine, rom etc. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”
“Ahh,” says the officer, “This is the most unusual one. Bubba the Redneck from Kansas, 34, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” asks the Inspector.
The Coroner replies; “He thought he was having his picture taken.”
Each of them has a great big smile on their faces.
The Coroner examines the bodies and then calls the Inspector to tell him what has happened.
“First lifeless body Italian; 60, died of heart attack while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.
“Second lifeless body Spanish; 25, won a million pounds on the lottery, drunk too much tequila, whisky, vine, rom etc. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”
“Ahh,” says the officer, “This is the most unusual one. Bubba the Redneck from Kansas, 34, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” asks the Inspector.
The Coroner replies; “He thought he was having his picture taken.”
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
It’s a snowy day and President Trump steps out onto the White House grass.
Right in front of him, on the White House grass, he sees “Donald Trump sucks!” written in urine across the snow.
Donald is pretty annoyed about this so he storms into his security staff’s headquarters, and shouts,
“Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it with pee! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?!”
The security personnel are in silence and stare ashamedly at the floor.
Trump yells, “Damnation!, don’t just sit there! Get out and find out who did it! I want an answer, and I want it tonight!”
The entire staff immediately jump up and race for the exits.
Later that night, chief security officer approaches him and says, “Well Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Trump replies, “Give me the bad news first.”
The officer says, “Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Mike Pence’s urine.”
Donald says, “I feel so… so… betrayed! My own vice president! Well, what’s the really bad news?”
The security chief replies, “Well Mr. President, it’s Melania’s handwriting.”
Right in front of him, on the White House grass, he sees “Donald Trump sucks!” written in urine across the snow.
Donald is pretty annoyed about this so he storms into his security staff’s headquarters, and shouts,
“Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it with pee! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?!”
The security personnel are in silence and stare ashamedly at the floor.
Trump yells, “Damnation!, don’t just sit there! Get out and find out who did it! I want an answer, and I want it tonight!”
The entire staff immediately jump up and race for the exits.
Later that night, chief security officer approaches him and says, “Well Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Trump replies, “Give me the bad news first.”
The officer says, “Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Mike Pence’s urine.”
Donald says, “I feel so… so… betrayed! My own vice president! Well, what’s the really bad news?”
The security chief replies, “Well Mr. President, it’s Melania’s handwriting.”
bflynn
Final Approach
I'm not sure, but I think I first heard this joke about Gerald Ford...and every president since.
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
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Light and Sporty Guy
jkaduk
Cleared for Takeoff
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2005
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- 1,289
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Display Name
Display name:
John Kaduk
Yea human misery always gives me a laugh.
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
jkaduk
Cleared for Takeoff
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2005
- Messages
- 1,289
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Display Name
Display name:
John Kaduk
Why would I do that? I might miss out on your next banning. Although it has been awhile, I guess the mods have expanded the envelope.Then don't look at it, put me on ignore.
![IMG_1147[41478].jpg](https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/community/data/attachments/51/51563-0e01246cf4c75cb07ee7c01957cfe014.jpg "IMG_1147[41478].jpg")
WannFly
Final Approach
A Boeing 777 wide body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-17 fighter jet flashed by at mach 1.5
The F17 pilot decided to show off. On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3 D & million dollar headset the F17 youngster told the 777 pilot, “Hey Captain Watch this!”
He promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep unimaginable vertical climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier as the F17 screamed down at impossible G’s before levelling at almost sea level ...
The F-17 pilot asked the 777 pilot what he thought of that?
The 777 pilot said, “That was truly impressive, but watch this!”
The 777 chugged along for about 5 minutes at the steady 800km/hour and then the 777 pilot came back on and said, “What did you think of that?”
Puzzled, the cocky F-17 pilot asked, “What the heck did you do?”
The 777 pilot chuckled and said,
"I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll and secured a date for the next 3 nights in a five star hotel paid for by the company"
Lesson of life:
When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem like a good thing!
When you get older & smarter - comfort & dullness is not such a bad thing! It's called S.O.S...
Slower, Older and Smarter!
Dedicated to all my friends approaching the S.O.S. category...
Dedicated to @mscard88
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
The F17 pilot decided to show off. On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3 D & million dollar headset the F17 youngster told the 777 pilot, “Hey Captain Watch this!”
He promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep unimaginable vertical climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier as the F17 screamed down at impossible G’s before levelling at almost sea level ...
The F-17 pilot asked the 777 pilot what he thought of that?
The 777 pilot said, “That was truly impressive, but watch this!”
The 777 chugged along for about 5 minutes at the steady 800km/hour and then the 777 pilot came back on and said, “What did you think of that?”
Puzzled, the cocky F-17 pilot asked, “What the heck did you do?”
The 777 pilot chuckled and said,
"I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll and secured a date for the next 3 nights in a five star hotel paid for by the company"
Lesson of life:
When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem like a good thing!
When you get older & smarter - comfort & dullness is not such a bad thing! It's called S.O.S...
Slower, Older and Smarter!
Dedicated to all my friends approaching the S.O.S. category...
Dedicated to @mscard88
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
The year is 2222 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen. The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.' A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another... Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick. 'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.. 'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?' 'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!' 'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long. 'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.' 'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. 'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?' 'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?' 'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache ... She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Gawd I'm laughing my ass off Norm! Sending it on!
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, ‘What were you and Dad doing?‘
The mother replies, ‘Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..’
You are wasting your time,‘ said the boy.
Why is that?’ the mom asked puzzled.
Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again!!
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, ‘What were you and Dad doing?‘
The mother replies, ‘Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..’
You are wasting your time,‘ said the boy.
Why is that?’ the mom asked puzzled.
Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again!!
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
A groaner.....
Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well – until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Man: “Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Man: “It’s made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?”
Man: “No, we have a carport.”
Lawyer: “I mean, what are your relations like?”
Man: “All my relations are still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Man: “We have a high-fidelitystereo and good DVD player.”
Lawyer: “Does your wife beat you up?”
Man: “No, I always wake up before her.”
Lawyer: “Sir, exactly why do you want this divorce?”
Man: “She’s going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Man: “I have proof.”
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Man: “She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read it and it says Polish remover.”
Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well – until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Man: “Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Man: “It’s made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?”
Man: “No, we have a carport.”
Lawyer: “I mean, what are your relations like?”
Man: “All my relations are still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Man: “We have a high-fidelitystereo and good DVD player.”
Lawyer: “Does your wife beat you up?”
Man: “No, I always wake up before her.”
Lawyer: “Sir, exactly why do you want this divorce?”
Man: “She’s going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Man: “I have proof.”
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Man: “She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read it and it says Polish remover.”
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokers and how all blondes are perceived as stupid So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house..
He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...
(You'll love this...)
(I know you will...)
"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWOCOATS."
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house..
He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...
(You'll love this...)
(I know you will...)
"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWOCOATS."
Timbeck2
Final Approach
A Boeing 777 wide body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-17 fighter jet flashed by at mach 1.5
The F17 pilot decided to show off. On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3 D & million dollar headset the F17 youngster told the 777 pilot, “Hey Captain Watch this!”
He promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep unimaginable vertical climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier as the F17 screamed down at impossible G’s before levelling at almost sea level ...
The F-17 pilot asked the 777 pilot what he thought of that?
The 777 pilot said, “That was truly impressive, but watch this!”
The 777 chugged along for about 5 minutes at the steady 800km/hour and then the 777 pilot came back on and said, “What did you think of that?”
Puzzled, the cocky F-17 pilot asked, “What the heck did you do?”
The 777 pilot chuckled and said,
"I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll and secured a date for the next 3 nights in a five star hotel paid for by the company"
Lesson of life:
When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem like a good thing!
When you get older & smarter - comfort & dullness is not such a bad thing! It's called S.O.S...
Slower, Older and Smarter!
Dedicated to all my friends approaching the S.O.S. category...
Dedicated to @mscard88
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
F-17? I know it existed but...
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Oh sorry, meant to put on there that was UCF. My bad.
Could be. My MSEE classes at UCF were easier than my undergrad classes at GT. Still think UA is more likely, though. If it were the U (sic) of Ga, the player would have said six and everyone including his math prof would have said “Right!”
BTW, Mark - do you know what the Alabama vs UCF series record is?
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Yeah but was BS (before Saban).
Yeah, well, the National Champion UCF Knights are still undefeated against the Tide, and Satan didn’t pick up the flung gauntlet last week, I see.
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Yeah, well, the National Champion UCF Knights are still undefeated against the Tide, and Satan didn’t pick up the flung gauntlet last week, I see.
Yeah I was wondering if you knew about that game. Did some "googling" didn't ya?
Yeah I was wondering if you knew about that game. Did some "googling" didn't ya?
No need for google. I live here, remember? And I have an Auburn wife who delights in seeing the Tide get rolled.
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Welllll tell your buzzard (really what the AU birdie is) loving wife that 40-38 ain't exactly rolling over Bama. And Awwbern beat us 9-0 that year too. Terrible season, gotta give the rest of y'all some love once in awhile.