Corrupt my wish

Sac Arrow said:
Mmm, that sounds pretty good.

Granted, you don't have to go all the way to the airport to fill out your IACRA form. You can't anyway because your moped broke down 200 yards from the airport entrance. Your flight school, however, was so kind as to string several hundreds of yards of extension cords together and they haul out the IACRA machine just for you. How special. Type type type, there, your IACRA is all filled out and you hit send.

Oops, there was a short somewhere in the extension cord. Either that or the County electrical inspector didn't like the string of extension cords and he pulled the plug, just as you hit "send." As a result, your IACRA form gets sent but the information is all jumbled and it is in FAA electronic limbo now. After walking your moped back home, you start calling the FAA to figure out what to do. Three weeks later, they get back to you and let you know that it will be a couple more months before they can sort it out. Oh well, at least the flying weather will be better. It leaves you more time to eat half pound hamburgers smothered in egg, bacon and cheese. Which, causes a dangerous rise in blood pressure and then your medical cert is revoked. Back to square one.

I wish I didn't waste like eighteen bucks (of the company's money) on an overpriced salad with a tiny piece of salmon on it at some foo foo restaurant yesterday.
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Granted, it was 22 bucks (you liked the server and tipped her well).

I wish it wasn't cleaning day again. I have to go work from my office.
 
John221us said:
Granted, it was 22 bucks (you liked the server and tipped her well).

I wish it wasn't cleaning day again. I have to go work from my office.
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Granted, it really isn't cleaning day today.

"Marcia, what are you doing here at my work? Aren't you supposed to be cleaning?"

"I no clean today. I go on strike."

"Why?"

"You just leave big mess. Beer cans all over the house. Underwear looks like runway ends at LAX. Gum stuck to ceiling. Rubber chicken all over place. You no appreciate Marcia. You no tip very well. You no put health care plan in to effect like Dorner say last night on television."

"Wrong black man in the news. You mean Obama."

"Yeah, heem."

"Okay Marcia, sigh. Give me a list of your demands. I'll see what I can do."

"Ok here DVD, can you preent it out?"

"Couldn't you just have put it on a CD?"

"Demands won't feet on CD."

"Oh boy."

I wish I could work from home.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I could work from home.
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Granted, they gave your office to the janitor. You either have to work from home or spread out in the break room. They may be sending you a message.

I wish my dog hadn't shredded a pillow all over the house. I guess it is a good thing that it is cleaning day.
 
John221us said:
Granted, they gave your office to the janitor. You either have to work from home or spread out in the break room. They may be sending you a message.

I wish my dog hadn't shredded a pillow all over the house. I guess it is a good thing that it is cleaning day.
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Granted, the dog didn't do it. The bad news is, somewhere lurking in your home is a blind, rabid raccoon.....and he's still ****ed that your pillow wasn't "in heat".

I wish I could win a raffled airplane...any raffled airplane.
 
KeithASanford said:
Granted, the dog didn't do it. The bad news is, somewhere lurking in your home is a blind, rabid raccoon.....and he's still ****ed that your pillow wasn't "in heat".

I wish I could win a raffled airplane...any raffled airplane.
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Granted, you win a nice A36 Bonanza. Except, it has raffles all over it. Lining the door, up and down the fuselage, on the leading and trailing edges of the wings - it looks very quaint. How pretty.

But damn that thing is slow, you have to firewall it to get enough speed to take off, and you're burning about 50 gph just to keep it airborne so you don't have any range. And forget carrying capacity.

And those little aluminum wavy strips riveted on to the skins are MAGNETS for ice. Which, you discover to your detriment on a flight over the Desolation Wilderness in the Sierras.

I wish the laptop I'm taking with me wasn't all jacked up. Someone loaded a bunch of crap on it making it real slow and unresponsive.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you win a nice A36 Bonanza. Except, it has raffles all over it. Lining the door, up and down the fuselage, on the leading and trailing edges of the wings - it looks very quaint. How pretty.

But damn that thing is slow, you have to firewall it to get enough speed to take off, and you're burning about 50 gph just to keep it airborne so you don't have any range. And forget carrying capacity.

And those little aluminum wavy strips riveted on to the skins are MAGNETS for ice. Which, you discover to your detriment on a flight over the Desolation Wilderness in the Sierras.

I wish the laptop I'm taking with me wasn't all jacked up. Someone loaded a bunch of crap on it making it real slow and unresponsive.
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Granted, IT discovered your porn screensavers and reported you to the executive team. Not only did they reimage your laptop, they reissued it to your replacement.

I wish I would have realized this is a three day weekend coming up. I could have made some additional plans.
 
Three day weekend? For who? Not me.

Granted, you hurriedly plan a POA fly in to KVGT and scrounge up a few of your fellow POA'ers for a weekend of gambling, drinking and carousing. Except what you don't realize is your staff is tied up all weekend restoring your buddy Sac's laptop that one or more of his coworkers screwed up by loading midget/goat porn on to it.

The Federal human trafficing commission decides to do a special enforcement on midget/goat porn in conjunction with the ALCU, ASPCA, and the FFA and they track down midget goat porn to your company location in Rocklin. Your tech employees are intimidated to they all decide to testify against you. When you return Tuesday, mid afternoon, still hung over, broke, and plus there are these odd warts developing in bad places, you have a welcoming committee.

I wish I didn't eat two dinners in a row last night. I'm already regretting it.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Three day weekend? For who? Not me.

Granted, you hurriedly plan a POA fly in to KVGT and scrounge up a few of your fellow POA'ers for a weekend of gambling, drinking and carousing. Except what you don't realize is your staff is tied up all weekend restoring your buddy Sac's laptop that one or more of his coworkers screwed up by loading midget/goat porn on to it.

The Federal human trafficing commission decides to do a special enforcement on midget/goat porn in conjunction with the ALCU, ASPCA, and the FFA and they track down midget goat porn to your company location in Rocklin. Your tech employees are intimidated to they all decide to testify against you. When you return Tuesday, mid afternoon, still hung over, broke, and plus there are these odd warts developing in bad places, you have a welcoming committee.

I wish I didn't eat two dinners in a row last night. I'm already regretting it.
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Granted, it was more like one long dinner. You went to Mongolian and kept going up for refills. Finally, the owner had had enough, but couldn't throw you out. So, when they were cooking what turned out to be your last bowl, he slipped in some ghost pepper sauce. You spent the rest of the night hallucinating and wishing hadn't overstayed your welcome.

I wish my fiat was ready. I don't think they have even started it, yet.
 
Oh they're already done with it. The classic foreign auto place you left it with subcontracted with Vostok Motors, who have many skilled Ukrainian craftsmen on hand to get your car running in top shape. And at the present time, it's in a shipping container on a Maersk container ship bound for Russia.

Should have read the fine print on the repair order. "Shop not responsible for loss or theft."

I wish someone didn't just drop off a big box of donuts again. a) the donut cutters are at it again, and b) it's making me hungry.
 
The printing press is all done printing the "John221US 100,000,000 Jonhbuck dollar" which you have backed by absolutely nothing. The fiat money cost you a few thousand bucks to buy the printing press, and you're sure that people will accept it because it is backed by your word. However, the massive influx of money along with the fact that your credit rating is not great leads to the money being worth less than the paper it's printed on. When you go to pay off your drug debts, the dealers laugh and shoot your knees out.

I wish there were a good quiet cafe' nearby without overly loud, couldn't-care-less minimum wage workers.
 
Granted, you go to the cafe staffed by workers making the new proposed minimum wage, which is actually a lower middle class salary. Your mocha costs twenty bucks. That stale packaged mini scone thing that's mostly dried out costs another fifteen. Plus you have "handling fees" for both items, "restaurant usage fees", "healthcare cost sharing fees", "accounting fees" and then the tip, which is automatically added based on twenty percent of the gross bill including fees and taxes.

You get out of there with a lukewarm, medium mocha with one shot and a piece of stale pastry for approximately $150.

Equity needs to be in place for minimum wage increases. Every minimum wage increase drives all prices up by that percentage, and eventually middle and upper class salaries adjust. Who gets f**d in the deal is anyone that has any savings, because they have just been devalued by that percentage and there are no stable means of offsetting the inflation. I WISH CONGRESS WOULD GIVE ME A CHECK TO COVER THE DEPRECIATION OF MY SAVINGS.
 
Congress passes a new law that makes sure to compensate everyone's savings for inflation--about 3 percent. However, this is only the Republican compromise of the overall law that mandates everyone to pay a 20% yearly tax on all savings over $200,000. It's only fair that those who don't have much saved up get compensated! Eventually, your savings will be around $200K after all the 20% yearly taxes. But hey--you have a private plane, so you must be doing just fine!

I wish all Subways participated in their advertised deals. Sucks when they don't have the "All footlongs=$5 for the month" deal they advertise everywhere on tv.
 
Granted. When Bubba J. Cleveland got paroled from the joint, he didn't have a job on Wall Street lined up like he hoped with his criminal record. Best he could do was be a stock clerk for Subway. Through hard work, perserverence and diligence, he worked his way up and became an assistant manager.

"Excuse me, but who do I complain to about your Subway not participating in the five dollar foot long deal?"

"The Assistant Manager. He's in the back."

"Ok thanks." Walk walk walk, knock knock "Excuse me, but can I have a word with you?"

"Yeah what boy!?"

"The ads on TV all say you're supposed to be giving me a footlong sandwich for five dollars, all month."

"What kind of sandwich you want boy!?"

You hand over a five dollar bill. "A.... salami?"

The door slams. Bubba gives you a foot long salami sandwich (his salami, your buns) for then next two hours.

I wish I had one of those Shimano electric shifter setups for my bicycle. They look hella slick.
 
I had to look that one up...
Granted, you now have your bike updated with full "ride by wire" setup (they came out with electronic brakes just in time). You head out on your ride and find yourself moseying through the streets of Oakland. All of sudden you are being chased by a bunch of bangers on scraper bikes. "No problem", you think to yourself, as you push the button to shift into high gear, but nothing happens. You push the button again and then again, but no results. As you pedal as fast you can in first gear, hopelessly trying to escape the "scraper gang" you realize that you forgot to charge the lithium batteries last night.

I wish someone would sell me a used, but working GNS 430W for $4,000.
 
Granted, but it keeps sending you to the intersection in the included image. You end up flying there accidentally and guess who's waiting for you!!! (this is only a few miles from my house in SC--pretty fitting that it's in the south)

I wish homework would do itself.
 

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ebykowsky said:
Granted, but it keeps sending you to the intersection in the included image. You end up flying there accidentally and guess who's waiting for you!!! (this is only a few miles from my house in SC--pretty fitting that it's in the south)

I wish homework would do itself.
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Now that's just wrong!

Granted, your homework "does" itself. Your professor rejects the essay you submitted because it pleasures itself all over his office and makes a big mess.

I wish I knew where Bubba intersection is so I can avoid it. (Above Folsom State prison?)
 
Granted, you find the magical software called "Skyvector." Unfortunately, it's too late... It's just NW of the "WIDER" intersection, something I assume he yells while you're there.

I wish my teacher would have accepted my homework. Now I'm getting in trouble for the "mess" of white out all over his office.
 
Granted he accepted your homework. But, however, your buddy Sac Arrow sliced his finger all up trying to get a recliner to recline (true story) and he's all messed up so he can't properly corrupt a wish. The best his medical aide could do was apply a Hello Kitty band aid. Sac not super happy right now and is not overly attentive to your ill gotten homework that you should have done yesterday.

Seriously dude you should have done it yesterday. It would give you more drinking time plus saved Sac a big cut on his finger.

I wish I didn't try to **** with this stupid recliner.
 
Well, thanks--not really a corruption, so I'll take it! And it is due on Wednesday, so I mean--not sure why I had to do it yesterday. But anyway, you didn't mess with the stupid recliner (it's a chair--of course it's stupid!) and now you have a broken recliner in the corner. Worst thing is that you have a hot babe over and she sits down in the recliner. That's the last you ever see of her (she gets snapped in half somehow).

I wish I could understand the connection between me doing my homework and you messing your hand up in the recliner... And where you found the Hello Kitty band aid.
 
ebykowsky said:
Well, thanks--not really a corruption, so I'll take it! And it is due on Wednesday, so I mean--not sure why I had to do it yesterday. But anyway, you didn't mess with the stupid recliner (it's a chair--of course it's stupid!) and now you have a broken recliner in the corner. Worst thing is that you have a hot babe over and she sits down in the recliner. That's the last you ever see of her (she gets snapped in half somehow).

I wish I could understand the connection between me doing my homework and you messing your hand up in the recliner... And where you found the Hello Kitty band aid.
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Granted, but then you would realize it's very boring and no hot babes were harmed (or employed, for that matter) in the repair of the Sac Arrow.

I wish I could remember what I was about to do in the office this morning.
 
Granted, it had something to do with porn and self satisfaction, but your injury (or was it the band aid) distracted you.

I wish I could get more organized this morning.
 
Granted, you just made a Freudian slip and didn't realize it. You are organ-izing yourself when three of your female employees walk in to your office (next time lock the door.) Cell phones are flashing and recording the details, and you are now being targeted for a class action workplace harassment lawsuit.

I wish I could take the day off and fly someplace.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I could take the day off and fly someplace.
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Well okay, you take the day off. Now the flying part...well...that turned out to be flying over the handlebars of your bike. Massive roadrash and loss of few teeth. No big deal for your dentist known as "hands" Kilroy. Yup, largest hands in his class.

I wish maintenance on the 'kota wasn't such a pain in the *ss.
 
Clark1961 said:
Well okay, you take the day off. Now the flying part...well...that turned out to be flying over the handlebars of your bike. Massive roadrash and loss of few teeth. No big deal for your dentist known as "hands" Kilroy. Yup, largest hands in his class.

I wish maintenance on the 'kota wasn't such a pain in the *ss.
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Granted.

"Herr Clark, opfenzie door!"

"Who is it."

"Der *ss"

"Why?"

"The maintenance on your flugenkota is not causing us pain anymore and keeping us away therefore we can commen get you."

"What do you want with me?"

"Ve vant to cause you pain, much pain."

"You want me to talk?"

"You can ich sprechen if you like. Ve just want you to be in pain."

"Why?"

"We are the *ss."

"I thought you guys went away like 65 years ago?"

"Nicht, we here."

I wish I would have gotten on the freeway before it gets too crowded rather than corrupting this wish.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I would have gotten on the freeway before it gets too crowded rather than corrupting this wish.
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Great! You're on the freeway and I don't have the *ss inflicting pain. Of course you're literally "on" the freeway. Sorry dude but you got smeared into the concrete by a truck. Funeral is on Monday.

I wish the Monday conference call hadn't been rescheduled from 11 a.m. MST to 11 a.m. EST.
 
Clark1961 said:
Great! You're on the freeway and I don't have the *ss inflicting pain. Of course you're literally "on" the freeway. Sorry dude but you got smeared into the concrete by a truck. Funeral is on Monday.

I wish the Monday conference call hadn't been rescheduled from 11 a.m. MST to 11 a.m. EST.
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Granted, everyone realized (except you) that Monday is a holiday and skipped the call. You hold for 1/2 an hour and it is a complete waste of your morning that you could have spent flying.

I wish I could head to the airport now, instead of waiting for my son to wake up, so I can take him to pick up a car.
 
John221us said:
Granted, everyone realized (except you) that Monday is a holiday and skipped the call. You hold for 1/2 an hour and it is a complete waste of your morning that you could have spent flying.

I wish I could head to the airport now, instead of waiting for my son to wake up, so I can take him to pick up a car.
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Dude, where did you drop off the Spider, San Diego?

Granted, you wake his ass up and drag him to the airport, but now he's cranky, and that ADS-B receiver he scored for a surprise gift to pops he's just going to hang on to now.

I wish Monday was a holiday for ME.
 
The prop is now on top of the kota, but you don't have a rotor rating. And since you never specified where you wanted him to put the prop, the mechanic is making you pay twice to relocate it on the front. But, you can still fly because the local club is hosting a "trip around the pattern" event where you can get a 5 minute ride in their 152 for 30 bucks.

I wish I had skipped a bit more of that conference this weekend to study for my math test I'm surely going to fail.
 
Granted, you passed your math test. At the South Carolina Center for Primate Study. Congratulations, you have been selected for a trip in to space aboard an Atlas rocket. There are no windows, you won't get to play in space, and oh by the way they made no provisions for the capsule to return intact to earth.

I wish my clothes would fold themselves and pack themselves for my trip.
 
ebykowsky said:
I wish I had skipped a bit more of that conference this weekend to study for my math test I'm surely going to fail.
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You skipped a bit more of the conference because you got picked up for PI after leaving a hospitality suite after the conference. Bubba kept you company in the drunk tank and has a silly, slack-jawed grin this morning.

I wish the mechanic had a clue about where the prop goes on the 'kota.



Side note: What's the topic for the quiz - bet somebody on the board can corrupt your math knowledge...:D
 
Granted, your mechanic has a clue where the prop goes, that's his job. (He's a detective, not actually a mechanic.). That big metal nub thing in front, it must go there.

The NTSB has concluded that the separation of the propeller in flight was due to improper installation......

Wish still stands.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish my clothes would fold themselves and pack themselves for my trip.
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Your clothes mysteriously fold and pack themselves for your trip. Your suitcase vibrates and makes strange noises so TSA pulls you and it out for further investigation. Bubba now works for TSA and he proceeds to perform several body cavity searches with you bent over a chair.

I wish the prop didn't come off the 'kota while in flight.
 
Granted, your clothes fold themselves and when you get to the place you're going, you find that only your bras and women's panties you've stolen/collected over the years made it in. Good Luce with that!
I wish it would be sunny for my check ride on Tuesday.
BTW the test is in multi---and I have no knowledge to corrupt.
 
Clark1961 said:
I wish the prop didn't come off the 'kota while in flight.
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The prop stayed on, but the wings fell off. Right about now, you're wishing you still had the rotor on top--you come crashing down and are consumed by alligators in the everglades.

Wish stands.
 
ebykowsky said:
I wish it would be sunny for my check ride on Tuesday.
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It will be sunny for your check ride on Tuesday but all available runways will have a 40 knot direct cross wind. DPE sez it's your call on the go/no go and he will charge double if you elect to stay on the ground.

I wish the wings hadn't fallen off. That's gonna hurt.
 
Granted, Sunny Bono gives you your check ride. A month later the FAA discovers he's a fraud, revokes your cert and charges you with operation without proper certification.

I wish my stolen panty collection didn't end up overseas. Talk about bringing sand to the beach.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Talk about bringing sand to the beach.
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:rofl:

Frank's wish is granted: the wings did not fall off, but upon arriving to his destination in the southern Everglades, he takes a taxi to the hotel and discovers it's a real dive. He goes up to his room, figuring he'll only be there one night, but the DEA shows up and finds all the crack-cocaine stored in the ceiling. That leads to several cavity searches, and the local cops impound the 'kota, ultimately turning it into a drug-spotting plane. You get thrown in jail, where there's no A/C, and your only way out is through a 600yd. pipe of sewage... after Bubba has his way, though, you're happy to finally be the one inside the tube filled with crap... When you spill out on the outside, guard dogs are waiting for you, and you don't make it to the beaches of Mexico.
(And yes, I realize your name is Clark, I just figured I'd call you your plane's name).

Sac's wish stands...
 
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I'm bored, so I s'pose I'll take Sac's wish as well:

Your stolen pantie collection didn't make it overseas--it wound up in the hands of TSA, along with the vibrating suitcase. Some of the panties belong to the TSA agents who have no idea how you got them, and who have gotten restraining orders in years past. They're not happy to see you, and make sure to load the suitcase with itching powder before returning it when you get back stateside. After playing "dress up" your first night back, the next day your entire downstairs is beet red and won't stop itching... you look hysterical giving that presentation to your boss while scratching frantically.

I wish I had more pilot friends in the area.
 
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ebykowsky said:
I'm bored, so I s'pose I'll take Sac's wish as well:

Your stolen pantie collection didn't make it overseas--it wound up in the hands of TSA, along with the vibrating suitcase. Some of the panties belong to the TSA agents who have no idea how you got them, and who have gotten restraining orders in years past. They're not happy to see you, and make sure to load the suitcase with itching powder before returning it when you get back stateside. After playing "dress up" your first night back, the next day your entire downstairs is beet red and won't stop itching... you look hysterical giving that presentation to your boss while scratching frantically.

I wish I had more pilot friends in the area.
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Granted, but they are all fictional comic strip characters. When one of your professors sees you muttering something about chasing the Red Baron down to an empty corner, he orders a psych eval and you are diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. This gets back to the FAA and they rip up your medical for good. Now even Snoopy won't talk to you.

I wish I would have let the chips and salsa be. I feel narly now.
 
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