Corrupt my wish

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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May 11, 2010
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Charlotte, NC
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Snorting his way across the USA
Someone posts a wish, like "I wish I had a new airplane."

The next poster grants the wish, but in a corrupted version, i.e. "Granted, but now you have lobster claws and you can't fly it. Plus you just castrated yourself the last time you went pee." Then after that, you make a wish of your own and then the next poster repeats the process.

Okay I'll start.

I wish I had Jennifer Anniston...
 
DaytonaLynn said:
I wish Bruce would reconsider his vacating
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Granted, Dr. Bruce is back. But he mistakes you for me and now you are on his poo poo list.

I wish I could eat as many Whoppers in a day as I wanted...
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I could eat as many Whoppers in a day as I wanted...
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Granted, but all the physical side effects still apply.

I wish... I had started flying in my teens like I originally wanted.

John
 
Granted. But you became an airline pilot, first at Eastern, then at Pan Am. You are now at American, and you have two kids to put through college.

I wish I could afford to pay cash for a new car.
 
catmandu said:
Granted. But you became an airline pilot, first at Eastern, then at Pan Am. You are now at American, and you have two kids to put through college.

I wish I could afford to pay cash for a new car.
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you do, but decide not to call the insurance agent till you get home from the dealer, and total it.
 
Jim Logajan said:
I wish you would have ended that post in a wish.
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Granted, he did. But he wished for your house, your car, your airplane and your dog.

I wish it was time to leave work right now.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, he did. But he wished for your house, your car, your airplane and your dog.

I wish it was time to leave work right now.
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Your wish has been granted - here is your final paycheck and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I wish I had a steak dinner waiting for me when I get home...
 
Matthew said:
Your wish has been granted - here is your final paycheck and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I wish I had a steak dinner waiting for me when I get home...
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Granted - but it's been ready and sitting there for 2 weeks.

I wish I wasn't so addicted to aviation forums.
 
jhausch said:
Granted - but it's been ready and sitting there for 2 weeks.

I wish I wasn't so addicted to aviation forums.
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Granted, but now you're addicted to downloading 70s porn with dialup speed.

I wish I never had kidney stones.
 
Mtns2Skies said:
Granted, but now you have to give birth to many children without pain killers.

I wish I was an Alaskan Bush Pilot.
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Granted. But your uniform is a speedo and a Hello Kitty backpack.

I wish I had a glass panel on my airplane.
 
Mtns2Skies said:
Granted, but now you have to give birth to many children without pain killers.

I wish I was an Alaskan Bush Pilot.
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Granted, but then you had to work in a place where booze was against the law and the nearest humans were hundreds of miles away - and then you came to your plane one day for your pre-flight and found it shredded by bears.

I wish the traffic in California wasn't so bad that to go one exit on the freeway takes 20 minutes of your life away.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But your uniform is a speedo and a Hello Kitty backpack.

I wish I had a glass panel on my airplane.
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Granted, but see post number one. Glass can hurt if applied in the right places.

I wish that I could find an XC partner in my rental plane so that I could afford to fly more than just around the local area.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but see post number one. Glass can hurt if applied in the right places.

I wish that I could find an XC partner in my rental plane so that I could afford to fly more than just around the local area.
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Granted - but your XC partner flies right through the DC DMZ and you'll never fly again.

I wish I didn't have to worry about frost on the airplane in the morning.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - but your XC partner flies right through the DC DMZ and you'll never fly again.

I wish I didn't have to worry about frost on the airplane in the morning.
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Granted, you don't, because it's gone.

I wish I had a house overlooking the San Francisco Bay.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you don't, because it's gone.

I wish I had a house overlooking the San Francisco Bay.
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Granted, but now, just like everyone else in SF, you're into dudes and can't get anyone to be impressed by your new house.

I wish I could win a huge lottery.
 
SkyHog said:
Granted, but now, just like everyone else in SF, you're into dudes and can't get anyone to be impressed by your new house.

I wish I could win a huge lottery.
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Granted, but you ended up hiring me to fly the G-V you bought, and I have no idea WTF I'm doing, so I crashed it. In the ensuing fire, I died, and your facial hair burned away.

I wish the 310 had engines back on it.
 
Mtns2Skies said:
Granted, but now the rest of the plane is gone.

I wish I had all my ratings to CFII
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Granted, but somebody comes after you when one of your instrument students crashes. You lose everything.

I wish I could eat all the chocolate in the universe and not get fat.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but somebody comes after you when one of your instrument students crashes. You lose everything.

I wish I could eat all the chocolate in the universe and not get fat.
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Granted, but you get tons of acne!

I wish I understood women.:dunno:
 
N747JB said:
Granted, but you get tons of acne!

I wish I understood women.:dunno:
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Granted, but now you're gay and, for some odd reason, don't understand other men, so it doesn't do you any good.

I wish I had a 421.
 
Ted DuPuis said:
Granted, but now you're gay and, for some odd reason, don't understand other men, so it doesn't do you any good.

I wish I had a 421.
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Granted. The next day an AD is issued basically condemning the FIKI systems and there are no other STC'd systems available for your model.

I wish I owned a heated hangar.
 
alaskaflyer said:
Granted. The next day an AD is issued basically condemning the FIKI ice systems and there are no other STC systems available for your model.

I wish I owned a heater hangar.
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Granted - but it got cold again when it finished burning to the ground.

I wish my kids thought I was cool.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - but it got cold again when it finished burning to the ground.

I wish my kids thought I was cool.
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Granted, however 3 days later you overdose on AXE and swag.

I wish I had a pilot girlfriend.
 
DavidWhite said:
Granted, however 3 days later you overdose on AXE and swag.

I wish I had a pilot girlfriend.
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Granted, but she ends up using you for PIC time in a complex / retract and then dumps you when she moves out of state for her dream pilot job.

I wish my boyfriend liked flying more than he does.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but she ends up using you for PIC time in a complex / retract and then dumps you when she moves out of state for her dream pilot job.

I wish my boyfriend liked flying more than he does.
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Granted, but then he gets his pilot certificate and never lets you fly, relegating you to a passenger.

I wish it wasn't so damned cold outside.
 
SkyHog said:
Granted, but then he gets his pilot certificate and never lets you fly, relegating you to a passenger.

I wish it wasn't so damned cold outside.
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Granted. But due to the warm temps the Global Warming nuts ban all gasoline use.

I wish Santa Clause would get here.
 
Hiperbiper said:
Granted. But due to the warm temps the Global Warming nuts ban all gasoline use.

I wish Santa Clause would get here.
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Granted. Then he brings you a lump of coal. Which by the way you are perfectly welcome to burn.

I wish I had a STOL King Air with phat Bushwheels.
 
alaskaflyer said:
Granted. Then he brings you a lump of coal. Which by the way you are perfectly welcome to burn.

I wish I had a STOL King Air with phat Bushwheels.
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Granted but then you land it gear up and lose it 'cause you forgot to insure it.

I wish my future supermodel wife didn't just love me for my skills in bed but also for my beautiful mind... :D
 
Granted, but you find out the insurance company doesn't cover off airport landings....after you put into the river, trying to land on the gravel bar.

I wish I had nice new panel, with a GTN 650 and an Aspen.
 
Oops, double post. Ok, granted, but you find out s/he had a sex change, before she met you, but due to a complication, s/he can no longer have sex.

I wish I could have a years worth of free av gas.
 
John221us said:
Oops, double post. Ok, granted, but you find out s/he had a sex change, before she met you, but due to a complication, s/he can no longer have sex.

I wish I could have a years worth of free av gas.
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You get it, for an the average Ultralight pilot flying 10 hours a year. Oh, and its Ethanol...

I wish this thread would end.
 
ja_user said:
You get it, for an the average Ultralight pilot flying 10 hours a year. Oh, and its Ethanol...

I wish this thread would end.
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Okay it did end. But you are now required to share room space with Justin Bieber.

Didn't think you were that desperate.

I wish I had rock hard abs.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Okay it did end. But you are now required to share room space with Justin Bieber.

Didn't think you were that desperate.

I wish I had rock hard abs.
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Granted... for one ab so you look greatly deformed.

I wish I knew what plane I wanted
 
Sac Arrow said:
Okay it did end. But you are now required to share room space with Justin Bieber.

Didn't think you were that desperate.

I wish I had rock hard abs.
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Yup, you had rock hard abs...30 years ago.

I wish the Frankenkota had a reliable charging system.
 
Granted, but they are hard, because you have nothing better to do than sit-ups, while serving a 10 year term for assaulting the "Bieb" as he left an L.A. Bar with your woman. Your cellmate, however, admires your abs, greatly.

I wish my dog could fetch beers on command, like the one in the commercial.
 
Clark1961 said:
Yup, you had rock hard abs...30 years ago.

I wish the Frankenkota had a reliable charging system.
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Granted, it does. It has charged you tens of thousands of dollars in routine maintenance not including annuals.

I wish our TV weather lady would have dinner with me.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, it does. It has charged you tens of thousands of dollars in routine maintenance not including annuals.

I wish our TV weather lady would have dinner with me.
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The weather lady had dinner with you but was sick for a week with food poisoning afterwards.

I wish the wellhead price of natural gas was 5.00 $/MMBTU for the next year.
 
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