Corrupt my wish

I wish I could sell my Pathfinder and buy a Skywagon.
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Granted, but Alabama police don't appreciate people commuting on state highways with airplanes, so you're arrested and thrown in jail because of an obscure law that says you cannot operate a vehicle with both the word "sky" and "wagon" in it.

I wish I could stop looking at Ed's airplane.
 
roddie said:
Granted, but Alabama police don't appreciate people commuting on state highways with airplanes, so you're arrested and thrown in jail because of an obscure law that says you cannot operate a vehicle with both the word "sky" and "wagon" in it.

I wish I could stop looking at Ed's airplane.
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Granted. You stop looking and stroke the check for it. You can't fly a 401k. Is drawing .09% on that money market really better than a prime example of the best piper single made that you can visit at the hangar whenever you want?

I wish I could relive the awesome flight I had today. Everything was perfect! Which is rare.
 
Granted, you are hypnotized at a night club show and publicly relive the flight, as well as last nights sexual experience.

I wish I had rented a different movie. Premium Rush isn't that good, so far.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you are hypnotized at a night club show and publicly relive the flight, as well as last nights sexual experience.

I wish I had rented a different movie. Premium Rush isn't that good, so far.
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Granted. You rented what you though was the new James Bond movie, but it turned out to be Terminator 5. John Connor's role is played by Justin Bieber, and the Terminator T4000 is played by Danny Devito. Somehow, they just don't manage to quite pull it off so instead you head down to the Circle K for some Champaign. The clerk hands you a chilled bottle of Carlos Rossi sparkling burgundy and says "heeer you go sir, thees is veddy veddy good I can assure you."

You scream "This is NOT Champaign you snit! This is damn sparkling wine!" And in a fit of rage, you throttle him with your fist, pull the Glock out of his cash register and ventilate him. The Rocklin Police charge you with illegal discharge of a firearm within City limits and felony destruction of a civic resource. The judge isn't amused by your elitist distinction between Champaign and sparkling wine and sentences you to ten years of semi-solitary confinement. With, you know who. (Hint: Bubba likes Carlos Rossi)

I wish this rain would stop. I'm going stir crazy. I need to get outta here.
 
Granted, the rain stops... For 20 minutes. You had decided to squeeze in a ride and get caught in a downpour. You decide to wait it out in the bar across from where you ducked for cover. Unfortunately, it is a biker bar and they take offense to your agro shirt. After a few rounds with the locals, you are going to need to shop for a new shirt.

I wish kids got cheaper, after they turn 18.
 
John221us said:
Granted, the rain stops... For 20 minutes. You had decided to squeeze in a ride and get caught in a downpour. You decide to wait it out in the bar across from where you ducked for cover. Unfortunately, it is a biker bar and they take offense to your agro shirt. After a few rounds with the locals, you are going to need to shop for a new shirt.

I wish kids got cheaper, after they turn 18.
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Granted, no more argyle socks for you.

I wish the kitty could wipe his own ass.
 
Granted?, but he does it with his tongue and then gives you some love on you face.

I wish I could get through the holidays with enough money left to go flying.
 
John221us said:
Granted?, but he does it with his tongue and then gives you some love on you face.

I wish I could get through the holidays with enough money left to go flying.
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Dude, that's EXACTLY what I was freakin' talking about! That was like so nasty... ewww. His ass smelled like crap, his breath smelled like crap. He smells like crap. I should thow that damn thing in the washing machine and maybe dump some Febreze in there as well.

Anyway, yeah you do that. Except in order to do so you totally had to forget about your GF, and your employees, and they decide to rebel against you and hold your stash of Cuban cigars hostage until you come up with some decent gifts.

I wish tonight wasn't going to be some sort of random casserole night. I hate casseroles. Well, hate is a strong word. Okay it is a strong word. I hate them. WHY were casseroles invented? WHO would have so much HATE on the male species as to subject them to the blight of casserole? Is it some sort of Catholic thing? I'm not Catholic so I don't know. My family use to do them to so maybe it's a Midwestern thing that carried itself over to California.

Idaho, keep your damn casseroles, we don't want them here. We like Sushi. We like Prime Rib. You guys got Prime Rib. We got Sushi. We have something in common. We don't need your ******n casseroles!

Okay. I'm better. Go ahead and corrupt further. If you can.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Dude, that's EXACTLY what I was freakin' talking about! That was like so nasty... ewww. His ass smelled like crap, his breath smelled like crap. He smells like crap. I should thow that damn thing in the washing machine and maybe dump some Febreze in there as well.

Anyway, yeah you do that. Except in order to do so you totally had to forget about your GF, and your employees, and they decide to rebel against you and hold your stash of Cuban cigars hostage until you come up with some decent gifts.

I wish tonight wasn't going to be some sort of random casserole night. I hate casseroles. Well, hate is a strong word. Okay it is a strong word. I hate them. WHY were casseroles invented? WHO would have so much HATE on the male species as to subject them to the blight of casserole? Is it some sort of Catholic thing? I'm not Catholic so I don't know. My family use to do them to so maybe it's a Midwestern thing that carried itself over to California.

Idaho, keep your damn casseroles, we don't want them here. We like Sushi. We like Prime Rib. You guys got Prime Rib. We got Sushi. We have something in common. We don't need your ******n casseroles!

Okay. I'm better. Go ahead and corrupt further. If you can.
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Fine. Tonight isn't some sort of random casserole night. It is a specific casserole night. Tuna Au-grautin specifically. The tuna laid on the dock for a week. After partaking of said casserole you're laying in the bathtub voiding from all orifices. Made kitty look like a model of hygiene. Good luck avoiding another trip to visit the stomach pump.

I wish I had a nice Islay to go with this steak.
 
Clark1961 said:
Fine. Tonight isn't some sort of random casserole night. It is a specific casserole night. Tuna Au-grautin specifically. The tuna laid on the dock for a week. After partaking of said casserole you're laying in the bathtub voiding from all orifices. Made kitty look like a model of hygiene. Good luck avoiding another trip to visit the stomach pump.

I wish I had a nice Islay to go with this steak.
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Granted. You have an Islay of Volta. Except the Voltonians are vegetarians and they don't approve of Scotch either so they throw you in the klink. With Bubbamandikino, who exercises his athletic exploits on your nethers.

I wish I could build my own house.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. You have an Islay of Volta. Except the Voltonians are vegetarians and they don't approve of Scotch either so they throw you in the klink. With Bubbamandikino, who exercises his athletic exploits on your nethers.

I wish I could build my own house.
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Granted. You build you own house out of pay-dough and legos. Of course if fails inspection and you're back to begging contractors.

I wish I could sit down now after Bubamankikino is finished. Now I really need that Islay...
 
Clark1961 said:
Granted. You build you own house out of pay-dough and legos. Of course if fails inspection and you're back to begging contractors.

I wish I could sit down now after Bubamankikino is finished. Now I really need that Islay...
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All right, you have that Islay single malt. You ask for an Ardbeg, they give you a Laphroig and charge you $45 a shot. Sensing intolerance, you shift back to Irish, and contact the Jameson distillery. The IRA backs you, but, unfortunately Interpol intercepts you and associates you with terrorists and they give you to the American Speaker of the House Boner, who relegates you to Guantanamo. Their specialty is tobacco and coffee intermixed with Western male organs.

I wish I could grab a smoke with one of those Dunhills I used to smoke in the 80's in Europe, when I was stationed over there.
 
Sac Arrow said:
All right, you have that Islay single malt. You ask for an Ardbeg, they give you a Laphroig and charge you $45 a shot. Sensing intolerance, you shift back to Irish, and contact the Jameson distillery. The IRA backs you, but, unfortunately Interpol intercepts you and associates you with terrorists and they give you to the American Speaker of the House Boner, who relegates you to Guantanamo. Their specialty is tobacco and coffee intermixed with Western male organs.

I wish I could grab a smoke with one of those Dunhills I used to smoke in the 80's in Europe, when I was stationed over there.
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Fine...you have one of those Dunhills. Now you're stuck in the 80's and have to listen to A Flock of Seagulls for the rest of your life.

I wish the Laphroig hadn't run out.
 
Clark1961 said:
Fine...you have one of those Dunhills. Now you're stuck in the 80's and have to listen to A Flock of Seagulls for the rest of your life.

I wish the Laphroig hadn't run out.
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You are such a hater. I have the entire Flock of Seagulls album set on cassette.

Granted you still have Laphroig, experimental batch that contains ancient Scottish mushrooms laced with heroin. Thinking you are a Viking, you wield an axe and try to overtake an urban school in the Bronx. They call you on axe, tell you it's technically aks, and then waste you with a gat. But not entirely, you're still alive, you just are able to extrude fecal material like spaghetti.

I really could use some sleep.
 
Sac Arrow said:
You are such a hater. I have the entire Flock of Seagulls album set on cassette.

Granted you still have Laphroig, experimental batch that contains ancient Scottish mushrooms laced with heroin. Thinking you are a Viking, you wield an axe and try to overtake an urban school in the Bronx. They call you on axe, tell you it's technically aks, and then waste you with a gat. But not entirely, you're still alive, you just are able to extrude fecal material like spaghetti.

I really could use some sleep.
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Fine, you sleep for a 1,000 years. No more posts for you in our lifetime. Game over.

I wish that my choice in hiring a field supervisor is correct.
 
Clark1961 said:
Fine, you sleep for a 1,000 years. No more posts for you in our lifetime. Game over.

I wish that my choice in hiring a field supervisor is correct.
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It is correct. Your field supervisor of coffee bean orchards is on the mark. Too bad what you really need is someone that understands DOT freeway and pavement specs. Oh well. Next time.


I wish I could eat that Prime Rib like right now.
 
Sac Arrow said:
It is correct. Your field supervisor of coffee bean orchards is on the mark. Too bad what you really need is someone that understands DOT freeway and pavement specs. Oh well. Next time.


I wish I could eat that Prime Rib like right now.
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You eat the Prime Rib right now...and have third degree burns on lips, mouth, and esophagus. They're tired of your smelly butt in the emergency room so you are left in hall to rot. Good luck.

I wish the Broncos win the Super Bowl this year.
 
Clark1961 said:
You eat the Prime Rib right now...and have third degree burns on lips, mouth, and esophagus. They're tired of your smelly butt in the emergency room so you are left in hall to rot. Good luck.

I wish the Broncos win the Super Bowl this year.
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Granted you may wish that but I might remind you the 49ers Seahawks game is in progress. So depending on who wins we might have good coffee and seafood or gay **** in the NFL

I really liked that chuck roast last night. I want more.
 
Granted, you have more of that chuck roast, but you had to dig it out of the bin. You find yourself back at Mercy.

I wish I had a Crown Manhattan, up.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you have more of that chuck roast, but you had to dig it out of the bin. You find yourself back at Mercy.

I wish I had a Crown Manhattan, up.
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Granted, but you have to shoot it instead of enjoying it slowly.

I wish spring were here so I could go wake boarding on the boat.
 
Granted, but it's a heck of a cold Spring. You're out wake boarding, hit a floating chunk of ice, and split in two like the Titanic (you, not the board). Now, all your friends call you "halfie" and before long, nobody will talk to you at all. Worse yet, everything below your waist was lost in the collision, so have fun sitting down to pee! (Also, I'm pretty sure Sac Arrow said in an earlier post that he'd get with "anything that sits to pee," so have fun with that as well!)
 
I wish eybykowski didn't have to go there with that pee thing....
 
Granted, you have new standards. Sitting to pee is no longer a requirement, they just have to have to speak some english and show an interest.

I wish I could get off at noon today. It looks like flying might be a possibility.
 
^^^ I don't think speaking English or showing an interest were ever standards of his before, so this might actually be an improvement for him!

And granted, but flying is not a possibility, seeing that the plane you fly crashed when some hooligan stole it and took it out for a spin--a spin that he couldn't recover from.

I wish I hadn't received and opened all of my xmas presents already.
 
ebykowsky said:
^^^ I don't think speaking English or showing an interest were ever standards of his before, so this might actually be an improvement for him!

And granted, but flying is not a possibility, seeing that the plane you fly crashed when some hooligan stole it and took it out for a spin--a spin that he couldn't recover from.

I wish I hadn't received and opened all of my xmas presents already.
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Granted. There is still one present unaccounted for - that $600 an hour former Olympian turned escort left you with something that not even the free clinic can undo on Wednesday.

I wish I would have sucked it up and went flying today.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. There is still one present unaccounted for - that $600 an hour former Olympian turned escort left you with something that not even the free clinic can undo on Wednesday.

I wish I would have sucked it up and went flying today.
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Granted, but what you sucked-up was a bottle of tequila thereby breaking the "8 hours from bottle to throttle" rule -- You get busted during the one ramp-check you will ever see in your life and you end up in the drunk tank with the lead singer of the Pogues, who you can't understand.

I wish American would hurry up and find my daughter's luggage. It's been almost 24 hours - This, after a 4 1/2 hour delay with her flight.
 
Granted, they find it or what's left of it anyway. The baggage apes did a number on it and then it got left on the ramp in the rain.

I wish I wasn't cooking tonight, because then I would have time to fly.
 
Granted, you aren't cooking tonight. Enjoy your frozen broccoli casserole. You could have simply thrown the Prime Rib in the oven, set the oven clock to start it at five, gone flying, and pulled it out when you got back.

I wish my motorcycle tire wasn't leaking air at the rate of 3 psi in two days.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you aren't cooking tonight. Enjoy your frozen broccoli casserole. You could have simply thrown the Prime Rib in the oven, set the oven clock to start it at five, gone flying, and pulled it out when you got back.

I wish my motorcycle tire wasn't leaking air at the rate of 3 psi in two days.
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It wasn't the roast, it was all the other stuff; steamed artichokes, salad,veggies, etc.

Granted, it is now audibly hissing and it is Christmas Day with nothing open. I guess you are taking the car.

I wish the weather looked a little better today.
 
John221us said:
It wasn't the roast, it was all the other stuff; steamed artichokes, salad,veggies, etc.

Granted, it is now audibly hissing and it is Christmas Day with nothing open. I guess you are taking the car.

I wish the weather looked a little better today.
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Actually, no, I strapped on the heated gear and did a 40 mile run for a white mocha expresso drink. Tire seems to be holding.

Granted, the weather did look a little better today. Unfortunately looks can be deceiving.

I with there was a McD's or something open today. I forgot to stockpile Whoppers for lunch yesterday.
 
Frank Browne said:
Oops. I wish somebody could come over and cook dinner for me.
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Granted. Gallagher is on his way, and he has a car full of watermelons and a very large hammer.

I wish I didn't just put Bac-o's in my omelet. They DON'T replace the real thing.
 
Granted, I hear Beggin strips are much better.

I wish this storm system weren't going to hit right during my scheduled flight tomorrow.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, I hear Beggin strips are much better.

I wish this storm system weren't going to hit right during my scheduled flight tomorrow.
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You laugh. Those things are meatier, tender, bigger and better tasting. Don't knock em quite yet

Granted, storm system leaves you alone. But in exchange it requires you to spend six hours filling out a nag log, for a 15 minute flight.

I wish the fat chick sang instead of showing up at the door with an apple pie.
 
Ok, there is probably a story there, but granted, she sings, but not well. You are forced to listen to 1/2 an hour of some of the worst caroling you have ever suffered through.

I wish I hadn't had the second dessert tonight.
 
Granted, you only had a little slice of the fat lady's apple pie. Instead, your backseat pax had it and now your weight and balance is too far aft when filled to max gross and your tail drags down the runway. Watch out for that tree!

I wish it weren't beautiful and calm right now. I already cancelled my flight! I guess that nav log will come in handy another day. I also now wish I hadnt slept till 10 today.
 
Granted, it is fairly calm winds and it is only 7:30. Of course this is California, though, and you aren't here.

I wish I had taken the week off.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, you only had a little slice of the fat lady's apple pie. Instead, your backseat pax had it and now your weight and balance is too far aft when filled to max gross and your tail drags down the runway. Watch out for that tree!

I wish it weren't beautiful and calm right now. I already cancelled my flight! I guess that nav log will come in handy another day. I also now wish I hadnt slept till 10 today.
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Granted... it's not beautiful or calm right now but you still decide to use that nav log. Unfortunately, that back seat passenger with the extra apple pie decides to do a backwards digestion of it and you get to see it all again, all over the airplane. But, I guess there is something positive that comes of that since your W and B problem is now corrected with the apple pie all over the panel. Nice.


I wish it were Christmas all over again next week so I could have a Christmas like it is supposed to be. :(
 
flygirl34q said:
Granted... it's not beautiful or calm right now but you still decide to use that nav log. Unfortunately, that back seat passenger with the extra apple pie decides to do a backwards digestion of it and you get to see it all again, all over the airplane. But, I guess there is something positive that comes of that since your W and B problem is now corrected with the apple pie all over the panel. Nice.


I wish it were Christmas all over again next week so I could have a Christmas like it is supposed to be. :(
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Granted, but then you subject the Sac Arrow to another round of Christmas when the first round already nearly did him in. He ends up in the national news ending up in a huge fireball, seriously putting yet another dent in the image of GA.

I wish this rain would stop. Oakland is looking more like Seattle these days. Except that there are crack houses on every corner instead of Starbucks.
 
I wish you all would get sick of this game already.
 
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