Corrupt my wish

roddie said:
You kept riding, but the back left tire on your Big Wheel got a hole in it and some rocks got in, so your ears are ringing from the constant rattle that they caused.

I wish I could find the link to the damn AOPA forums from their website.
Click to expand...

Granted, but you spring for an overpriced membership to access them and also find you can't post anonymously. No corrupting no wishes fo U, on the Red Board.

I wish I could bend that hot little Latina at the gym over the weight bench and have at it.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, but you spring for an overpriced membership to access them and also find you can't post anonymously. No corrupting no wishes fo U, on the Red Board.

I wish I could bend that hot little Latina at the gym over the weight bench and have at it.
Click to expand...

The forum doesn't appear to be linked to my AOPA membership. Or is it?

I don't need anonymity to corrupt your wishes. It's granted, but later in the showers you see that "she" pees standing up.

I wish I could go to a Brazilian Steakhouse right now.
 
roddie said:
The forum doesn't appear to be linked to my AOPA membership. Or is it?

I don't need anonymity to corrupt your wishes. It's granted, but later in the showers you see that "she" pees standing up.

I wish I could go to a Brazilian Steakhouse right now.
Click to expand...

Correct. You have to be a member and post as your member account.

Granted, you are taken to a steakhouse deep within the Amazon. Unfortunately you are the meal.

I wish I had another couple days of weekend still.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I had another couple days of weekend still.
Click to expand...

Granted, since you're unemployed and injured -- You see, you are an NHL player and you are currently locked out because your fearless leader can't come to agreement with the league to get you back on the ice. In your boredom, you tried playing football with skates on and got a concussion.

I wish flying wasn't so damn expensive.
 
roddie said:
Granted, since you're unemployed and injured -- You see, you are an NHL player and you are currently locked out because your fearless leader can't come to agreement with the league to get you back on the ice. In your boredom, you tried playing football with skates on and got a concussion.

I wish flying wasn't so damn expensive.
Click to expand...

Granted, it never was. It's mother****ing expensive.

I wish my airplane engine was as easy to operate and reliable as my Toyota engine.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish my airplane engine was as easy to operate and reliable as my Toyota engine.
Click to expand...

It is, except that you drive a Mr. 2, so you can't get enough speed to get any lift and you're stuck taxiing everywhere.

I wish DDD wasn't showing their Hawaiian episode and making me crave fresh seafood.
 
roddie said:
It is, except that you drive a Mr. 2, so you can't get enough speed to get any lift and you're stuck taxiing everywhere.

I wish DDD wasn't showing their Hawaiian episode and making me crave fresh seafood.
Click to expand...

Granted, they are showing their Borneo episode and you are craving human flesh.

Damn, that Latina though... I wish. Mmmmmmm
 
Granted, but she develops an instant deep attachment to you and stalks you everywhere, including work. Your coworkers are creeped out and and she scares off any future date you might have.

I wish my new cylinder had seated by now. I seems like it should have.
 
Granted, it's seated. Unfortunately, that means that when running your motor the cylinder popped out, flew up through the cowling, in through your plane's windscreen, and landed on the passenger seat--so yeah, it's seated. Gonna be another few thousand dollars and a month in the shop.

I wish to get with that latina before action figure model gets to her--just to ruin it for him.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, it's seated. Unfortunately, that means that when running your motor the cylinder popped out, flew up through the cowling, in through your plane's windscreen, and landed on the passenger seat--so yeah, it's seated. Gonna be another few thousand dollars and a month in the shop.

I wish to get with that latina before action figure model gets to her--just to ruin it for him.
Click to expand...

Granted, youth has its privileges, but your first taste of a cougar doesn't work out so well. She talks you into dropping out of school to be more available to her and then dumps you six months later for fresh meat.

I wish I had one of those Ryno unicycle things.
 
Granted, but then people start mistaking you for a mall cop.

I wish for VFR during each one of my last few lessons so I can finish my training on schedule.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, but then people start mistaking you for a mall cop.

I wish for VFR during each one of my last few lessons so I can finish my training on schedule.
Click to expand...

Granted, it is VFR, but winds are 20 gusting to 30 and 30 degrees off of the runway heading. Have fun.

I wish this week wasn't going to be so busy.
 
John221us said:
Granted, it is VFR, but winds are 20 gusting to 30 and 30 degrees off of the runway heading. Have fun.

I wish this week wasn't going to be so busy.
Click to expand...

It's the year 2042. The Republica Popular de America (People's Republic of America, formerly United States) has been purchased by Mexico from China. Grand Marshal Obama has been allowed to continue regional leadership authority over the recently new, large Mexican state that extends from the historic Mexican border to Canada.

"Grand Marshal, the people need a break this week" Comrade Undersecretary Biden stated.

"Let it be. Enter in to the system this week, the week of December 17th, 2042 will be the people's holiday as public law number 84201242. Of course, they must increase their workload during the rest of the year to offset lost productivity. Be it so that the standard workweek will increase from 60 hours to 70 hours. That will be public law number 84201243."

"But, Grand Marshal, how will that affect the economics? Won't that generate accumulated wealth?"

"Of course not. You know perfectly well that back in 2013 all accumulated wealth has been outlawed. Any profits generated will simply feed back in to the system. Not to worry."

And so it was, for the aging John221RPA (formerly John221US). Except that he is a special case, found operating an outlawed form of company that generated profit, scabbing off the very soul of the people. For that he has been reassigned to positive thought training following the new public holiday.

I wish what I just wrote was more fictional than it probably will end up being.
 
Granted, it'll probably be worse!--my generation is screwed.

I wish I could top the story you just wrote.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, it'll probably be worse!--my generation is screwed.

I wish I could top the story you just wrote.
Click to expand...

Granted, you can. But then you became a noted author, and gained a Hemingway complex. Your short lived career ended abruptly when you attempted to outdo Hemingway by jumping in the water after that shark.

I wish I owned my own gym.
 
Granted, you now own your own gym, but now you don't have enough time to work out because you are dealing with customer complaints, payroll, AR, AP and all the fun that comes with a small business.

Now that my plane is finally fixed, I wish we weren't looking at over a week of rain.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you now own your own gym, but now you don't have enough time to work out because you are dealing with customer complaints, payroll, AR, AP and all the fun that comes with a small business.

Now that my plane is finally fixed, I wish we weren't looking at over a week of rain.
Click to expand...

Granted, as of about.... right now... we are standing in it.

I wish I didn't have a #&*(%#{$*(ing cold right now. I feel miserable.
 
Granted, it isn't a cold, it is the flu. You still feel like s**t.

I wish I had taken a tropical holiday and was heading to the South Pacific right now.
 
John221us said:
Granted, it isn't a cold, it is the flu. You still feel like s**t.

I wish I had taken a tropical holiday and was heading to the South Pacific right now.
Click to expand...

Granted. The year is 1942.

I wish we had some kind of awnings outside of the (#&*$#*$*ing office. Home boy can't step outside without getting soaked.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. The year is 1942.

I wish we had some kind of awnings outside of the (#&*$#*$*ing office. Home boy can't step outside without getting soaked.
Click to expand...

Granted, a couple of trees fell from the storm and created a natural awning (and also a big hole in the roof).

I wish I didn't have two more hours of work today.
 
John221us said:
Granted, a couple of trees fell from the storm and created a natural awning (and also a big hole in the roof).

I wish I didn't have two more hours of work today.
Click to expand...

Granted, something came through at the last minute and now you have to work all night.

I wish things at work wouldn't all come together and explode on a Friday.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, something came through at the last minute and now you have to work all night.

I wish things at work wouldn't all come together and explode on a Friday.
Click to expand...

Granted, you get a wake up call at 3:00 am Saturday morning.

I wish tomorrow would be a good VFR flying day.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you get a wake up call at 3:00 am Saturday morning.

I wish tomorrow would be a good VFR flying day.
Click to expand...

Granted. But your girlfriend found out about that apartment you've been maintaining in Sausalito and walked in on you and Keesha. No flying today, just lots of 'splaining.

I wish fiction wasn't stranger than truth.

(There is a story here, and not about me)
 
Granted, Truth is always stranger than fiction. As the saying goes, "you just can't make up stuff this good".

I wish there was something better on TV than HIMYM reruns.
 
John221us said:
Granted, Truth is always stranger than fiction. As the saying goes, "you just can't make up stuff this good".

I wish there was something better on TV than HIMYM reruns.
Click to expand...

Oh man, is there. The Latina plus Donky show. But it has been outlawed here and the Feds raid your home computer and discover Latina porn. Julio, federal agent, is not amused and extradites you to an Argentine prison. You die and your flesh is ground up and sent to McDonalds in Shreveport

Julio notwithstanding, that Latina in the gym is soooo nice. I wish...
 
Granted, I am not sure what the wish was, but it turns out she does donkey shows south of the border and after she hooks up with you, you contract a strange strain of donkey flu.

That bowl of ice cream was great. I wish the world won't end, before I have another.
 
John221us said:
That bowl of ice cream was great. I wish the world won't end, before I have another.
Click to expand...

Granted, the world doesn't end before you have another bowl of ice cream. Unfortunately your next bowl of ice cream includes melons and is contaminated with listeria. So sorry for you.

I wish the 'kota was airworthy this weekend.
 
Clark1961 said:
Granted, the world doesn't end before you have another bowl of ice cream. Unfortunately your next bowl of ice cream includes melons and is contaminated with listeria. So sorry for you.

I wish the 'kota was airworthy this weekend.
Click to expand...

Granted, it's good to go. Unfortunately, Cap'n Ron is down at the firing range today using your pilot certificate as a target, and Dr Bruce is lighting his charcoal grill with your medical.

I wish this Donkey flu would go away.
 
Granted, you kicked the Donkey Flu, but it left you with a discernable tick in your left eye and now women have a hard time talking to you, because you keep squinting at them.

I wish my next cup of coffee would make itself.
 
Granted. Not only did it make itself, it became self aware and took over your house just like Skynet did in Terminator, so you can't drink it. You can't go back to sleep either because some aging ex Governor with a bad German accent is asleep in your bed. With your maid by the way.

I wish I would have waited an hour to ride the motorcycle to Vallejo. I'm soaked.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. Not only did it make itself, it became self aware and took over your house just like Skynet did in Terminator, so you can't drink it. You can't go back to sleep either because some aging ex Governor with a bad German accent is asleep in your bed. With your maid by the way.

I wish I would have waited an hour to ride the motorcycle to Vallejo. I'm soaked.
Click to expand...

Granted, imagining self aware coffee, riding your motorcycle in a storm and time travel are all possible with the powerful psychotropic drugs you took. You easily transport yourself back in time and wait the requisite hour before starting your journey. Of course, eventually they wear off and you find yourself cold and shivering in a dark alley in Tiajuana.

I wish I my Christmas shopping was done.
 
John221us said:
Granted, imagining self aware coffee, riding your motorcycle in a storm and time travel are all possible with the powerful psychotropic drugs you took. You easily transport yourself back in time and wait the requisite hour before starting your journey. Of course, eventually they wear off and you find yourself cold and shivering in a dark alley in Tiajuana.

I wish I my Christmas shopping was done.
Click to expand...

Granted. Thanks for the Sig Sauer and the trenchcoat, now if I can just find my way out of this alley and order a cerveza.

I wish I had a larger Dutch oven. I can't cram quite as many veggies as I want in to it.
 
Granted, it is huge, but you are cooking for 20 people, so it doesn't go far.

I wish didn't have to work on Monday.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, that redhead at the gym was scheduled to be at your company to interview you for your bio. Oh well.

I wish I would have gone flying today. The weather wasn't THAT bad.
 
Granted, you got up, but a strong gust sent you into the weeds on landing.

I wish it were dinner time. I am hungry.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you got up, but a strong gust sent you into the weeds on landing.

I wish it were dinner time. I am hungry.
Click to expand...

It is dinner time. In Ohio. Saracelica just made this awesome prime rib. Looks like its all gone now. Oh well.

I wish it were dinner time too, I'm starved, and this chuck roast won't be ready until about 6:30 pm PST
 
Granted, hunger overcame you and you chowed it down in the raw. Unfortunately, it wasn't well prepared and you end up at Mercy, chatting with your favorite nurses, as they pump your stomach.

I wish dinner would cook itself.
 
John221us said:
Granted, hunger overcame you and you chowed it down in the raw. Unfortunately, it wasn't well prepared and you end up at Mercy, chatting with your favorite nurses, as they pump your stomach.

I wish dinner would cook itself.
Click to expand...

Granted. But the only beverages that the food dispenser has are Tea, Earl Grey, Hot and Synthahol.

I wish I could sell my Pathfinder and buy a Skywagon.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top