Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!
- Thread starter Let'sgoflying!
- Start date
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
"Have you ever seen Twenty dollars all crumpled up?" Curious, I said "No"
She gave me a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
"Oh my" I said. I took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked, "Have you ever seen Fifty dollars all crumpled up?"
"Uhhhh ... no, I haven't," I said sheepishly.
She gave me another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively
reached into her tight, sheer panties.. and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
I took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
I said "No!!!!" trying to hide my excitement.
She said, "Look in the garage.
She gave me a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
"Oh my" I said. I took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked, "Have you ever seen Fifty dollars all crumpled up?"
"Uhhhh ... no, I haven't," I said sheepishly.
She gave me another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively
reached into her tight, sheer panties.. and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
I took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
I said "No!!!!" trying to hide my excitement.
She said, "Look in the garage.
Let'sgoflying!
Touchdown! Greaser!
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Pilawt
Tom-D
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Tom-D
SAN FRANCISCO POLICE DO CARE
San Francisco Police report finding a man's body under the Golden Gate Bridge following his apparent attendance at an after-party for a recent same sex marriage reception. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a "Hillary for President" T-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum. The police removed the Hillary for president T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
In spite of what the public sometimes think, the Police do care.
San Francisco Police report finding a man's body under the Golden Gate Bridge following his apparent attendance at an after-party for a recent same sex marriage reception. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a "Hillary for President" T-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum. The police removed the Hillary for president T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
In spite of what the public sometimes think, the Police do care.
denverpilot
Tied Down
denverpilot
Tied Down
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him. The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat mate.
"Hey, *****," says the parrot, "Bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The FA looks annoyed but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again: "******mit, you lazy whore, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up!"
Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself. "Hey, slut," says the man, "Get me a dry martini. And don't drag your sorry ass - I want it right now!"
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants. The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20,000 feet.
As the two hurtle to the ground, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls."
"Hey, *****," says the parrot, "Bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The FA looks annoyed but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again: "******mit, you lazy whore, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up!"
Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself. "Hey, slut," says the man, "Get me a dry martini. And don't drag your sorry ass - I want it right now!"
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants. The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20,000 feet.
As the two hurtle to the ground, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls."
sferguson524
Pattern Altitude
that looks like LAS
denverpilot
Tied Down
New Cirrus multimedia training CD came with my new APC UPS at the office...
denverpilot
Tied Down
For those who don’t do Facebook... (or 60 minutes)...
Someone noticed the lovely 370 degree “compass” in the 60 Minutes article lead-in about Allegiant over the weekend.
LOL!
Someone noticed the lovely 370 degree “compass” in the 60 Minutes article lead-in about Allegiant over the weekend.
LOL!
Zeldman
Touchdown! Greaser!
You mean not all compasses are 370 degrees..??
denverpilot
Tied Down
That one actually looks like it has a secret 380 degree mark. Probably what Malaysia Air was using when they disappeared...
deonb
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jsstevens
This compass goes to 11.
mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
For those who don’t do Facebook... (or 60 minutes)...
Someone noticed the lovely 370 degree “compass” in the 60 Minutes article lead-in about Allegiant over the weekend.
LOL!
Ha! Actually I noticed that too, but it was, CBS so they more degrees...
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Bro do you even lift
What’s with the little peckeration at 305* ?
Subliminal message....and they thought we wouldn’t notice!
BigBadLou
Final Approach
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Lou
Bbbbbbut but but ... only Chuck Norris can land on 37.
So are they saying that now anybody can land on 37? And also 38? Wow, Chuck won't like this!!
So are they saying that now anybody can land on 37? And also 38? Wow, Chuck won't like this!!
jkaduk
Cleared for Takeoff
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John Kaduk
360, 370, Whatever it takes.
Let'sgoflying!
Touchdown! Greaser!
A sweet and innocent young Italian girl gets married, but the girl's mother lives downstairs. The girl has never made love to a man before, and on their wedding night, when he takes off his shirt, she goes running downstairs.
"Momma, Momma," she cries. "I can't believe it! He has hair all over his chest ! What should I do ?"
The mother is making spaghetti sauce. She stirs the sauce thoughtfully and says, "Hair on his chest ? He's your husband, it's your wedding night, go upstairs."
When the girl gets back upstairs, the man takes off his pants. This sends her running back down to her mother:
"Momma, Momma! He has hair all over his legs! What should I do?”
The mother stirs the sauce thoughtfully and says: "Hair on his legs? He's your husband, it's your wedding night, go upstairs."
The girl goes back upstairs, and the man takes off his shoes and socks. She looks down and sees that half of one of his feet is missing. She goes crying back down the stairs:
"Momma, Momma! He's got a foot and a half! What should I do?"
The mother hands her daughter the spoon and says:
"A foot and a half? Here, you stir the sauce. I'll go upstairs."
"Momma, Momma," she cries. "I can't believe it! He has hair all over his chest ! What should I do ?"
The mother is making spaghetti sauce. She stirs the sauce thoughtfully and says, "Hair on his chest ? He's your husband, it's your wedding night, go upstairs."
When the girl gets back upstairs, the man takes off his pants. This sends her running back down to her mother:
"Momma, Momma! He has hair all over his legs! What should I do?”
The mother stirs the sauce thoughtfully and says: "Hair on his legs? He's your husband, it's your wedding night, go upstairs."
The girl goes back upstairs, and the man takes off his shoes and socks. She looks down and sees that half of one of his feet is missing. She goes crying back down the stairs:
"Momma, Momma! He's got a foot and a half! What should I do?"
The mother hands her daughter the spoon and says:
"A foot and a half? Here, you stir the sauce. I'll go upstairs."
flyingcheesehead
Touchdown! Greaser!
Counting Crows, Rolling Stones, Grateful Dead, Def Leppard, Led Zeppelin, Two Doors Down.
Clark1961
Touchdown! Greaser!
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mscard88
Touchdown! Greaser!
Well I know my rock but I missed one. Thought the doors were "The Doors". Still do so maybe I passed
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jsstevens
Me to.
1RTK1
Pattern Altitude
Missed two doors down
The Doors is the correct answer. If they wanted Two Doors Down the doors would have been lying down or opened into a downward staircase or something.
The skeleton one got me! Never heard of Grateful Dead.
<———Millennial.
<———Millennial.