Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

RussR said:
Her Dad should be proud of her, she seems to be doing pretty well with that badly malformed hand. Must be hard having a left hand on your right arm. Wonder if the opposite is true as well.
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Perhaps it goes together with having "two left feet."
 
RussR said:
Her Dad should be proud of her, she seems to be doing pretty well with that badly malformed hand. Must be hard having a left hand on your right arm. Wonder if the opposite is true as well.
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So uh, could one assume you have a job where paying attention to detail is a thang?
 
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog....it is too dark to read.
 
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees are a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the bedside table. He sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and ironed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless.
He takes the aspirins and sees a note on the table which says "Breakfast is on the stove, dear. I left early to go shopping. Love you!"
He goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there's a hot breakfast waiting for him, and also the morning newspaper. His son is sitting at the table, eating.
Really curious by now, Bill asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, mom said you came home after 3 a.m, you stumbled in the door, threw up in the hallway, and passed out half-way up the stairs.
Confused, Mike asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you yelled "Leave me alone woman, I'm a married man""
 
2-Bit Speed said:
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When they invent time travel I'm going to travel to future and buy a time machine. The first thing I'll do is travel backwards in time to pick myself up and give myself a ride forward to buy a time machine.

This is the 4386th time I've done this experiment and it has failed every time. Whether time travel exist is a binomial probability. Given p=0 and n=4386, the probability that P=1 is about .00000000000000000001%.
 
bflynn said:
When they invent time travel I'm going to travel to future and buy a time machine. The first thing I'll do is travel backwards in time to pick myself up and give myself a ride forward to buy a time machine.

This is the 4386th time I've done this experiment and it has failed every time. Whether time travel exist is a binomial probability. Given p=0 and n=4386, the probability that P=1 is about .00000000000000000001%.
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When I buy a time machine, I'm going to travel back to when I was young and try to talk some sense into myself.
 
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