Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

[MauleSkinner]

That reminds me of the guy who told us we need to memorize the Sin table to calculate crosswind component

Would that be mortal or venial sins?

 

[Bob Noel]

Would that be mortal or venial sins?

yeah, I was wondering what was on that table

 

[AV8R_87]

Would that be mortal or venial sins?

sins of the flesh

 

[aterry1067]

 

[aterry1067]

 

[Half Fast]

View attachment 146591

@2-Bit Speed and @SkyChaser might be interested. (And yes, it’s a catapult, not a trebuchet.)

 

[AV8R_87]

On that topic...

 

[Daleandee]

 

[Bill]

View attachment 146604

That and “Wipe that smile off your face or I’ll wipe it off for ya”

 

[Matthew]

"Don't make me turn this car around!"

 

[aterry1067]

Mom calling you by first and middle name…you just know the rest of your day is going to be rough and possibly painful.

 

[Matthew]

or Bernie Mac, "I will bust your head until the white meat shows!"

 

[GoFly]

“You want something to cry about? you better straighten up or I’m gonna GIVE you something to cry about”

 

[robin ardoin]

"Don't make me turn this car around!"

"If I have to pull this car over, all of you are going to get a beating!"

 

[Daleandee]

My generation would have loved "time out."

That's where the parent tells the child, "get your laptop, smart phone, and online gaming stuff and go sit in your room for the next thirty minutes and think about what you did" ...

 

[Zeldman]

''You just wait 'til your father comes home.!!''

 

[MauleSkinner]

''You just wait 'til your father comes home.!!''

I got to say, “wait til your mother comes home” once…

 

[Zeldman]

“You want something to cry about? you better straighten up or I’m gonna GIVE you something to cry about”

You want me to do something to make you give me something to cry about.??

(Ok, I never said that out loud, but I sure said it in my head...)

 

[Matthew]

"This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me!"

 

[GoFly]

Thank heavens we didn’t have internet when we were growing up. My mom woulda ordered beatings for me in bulk from asswhippins.com

 

[luvflyin]

"This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me!"

Don't ya mean me more than you

 

[JOhnH]

Don't ya mean me more than you

I believe @Matthew was referring to what the honest parents said. We all knew who it was really going to hurt more, and it wasn't the parents.

 

[TCABM]

Don't ya mean me more than you

Ever meet my folks?

 

[Matthew]

Don't ya mean me more than you

 

[Daleandee]

 

[Chrisgoesflying]

View attachment 146627

I tried the vaccine but didn't work.

 

[Daleandee]

I tried the vaccine but didn't work.

Noooo ... that vaccine is for them!

 

[DaleB]

My vaccine is in the form of a bottle of Lagavulin 16. Just having the bottle open keeps most of them away and makes it easier for me to not smack the other ones.

 

[Bob Noel]

...and makes it easier for me to not smack the other ones.

except when the open bottle is empty you must resist the temptation to use the bottle to smack the other ones. (you wouldn't want to waste it until the bottle is empty)

 

[Skyrys62]

 

[Half Fast]

 

[Half Fast]

 

[Half Fast]

 

[Half Fast]

 

[Matthew]

View attachment 146642

Ok, true story:

Many years ago at one of the bigger bbq contests around here, someone decided it would be a great idea to set up a pen and have a cow and her calf on display. It was set up pretty much in the center of the action. My team was close enough that I had to listen to them complaining all night long.

It was a long night.

 

[Bob Noel]

View attachment 146639

false, not barefoot.

 

[2-Bit Speed]

 

[Bob Noel]

saw a headline today and thought "what are they talking about?"

 

[AV8R_87]

Drive around the neighborhood the next day and ask the kids at the school bus stops if they want some candy.

True story.

 

[Zeldman]

View attachment 146638

I rebuilt my back porch over the summer. It is 3 feet off the ground. I wanted to bury a plastic skeleton under it for the next folks that rebuild the porch to find. But SWMBO said it wouldn't be funny...