Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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luvflyin said:
I don’t get it. Help me out.
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It's a video game reference. Oftentimes, when an enemy is killed, an item or resource you can use for another part of the game is dropped as a reward - which you can then "loot" or pick up.

The joke is that if you're an organ donor, you "drop loot" because your organs are harvested when you die.
 
SkyChaser said:
It's a video game reference. Oftentimes, when an enemy is killed, an item or resource you can use for another part of the game is dropped as a reward - which you can then "loot" or pick up.

The joke is that if you're an organ donor, you "drop loot" because your organs are harvested when you die.
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Ah. Got it. My Tetris being video game brain couldn’t process it.
 
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.

One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
 
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 pennies to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the pennies, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman slaps him violently on the face, punches him in the stomach, twists his ankle and when she is about to start kicking him, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. The woman hands the penny to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? " "No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
 
I'll eat coleslaw if there's no other choice!
 
There’s this grandma who has a world famous coleslaw recipe. At her family reunion she makes a huge batch. But her grandson, who hates coleslaw, refuses to have any. The grandma gets angry so her grandson gives in, and she heaps a large amount onto his plate. He stares at it sadly and sings “I fought the slaw and the slaw won."
 
Daleandee said:
There’s this grandma who has a world famous coleslaw recipe. At her family reunion she makes a huge batch. But her grandson, who hates coleslaw, refuses to have any. The grandma gets angry so her grandson gives in, and she heaps a large amount onto his plate. He stares at it sadly and sings “I fought the slaw and the slaw won."
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:goofy::lol::rofl::yes:
 
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for an answered prayer.

Suzie stood and walked to the lectern. She said, "I have some praise. Two months ago, my husband Frank had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating, and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Frank must have experienced.

"Frank was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain.” We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place with metal staples.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Frank.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Frank.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."
 
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