Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

FAA now needs to add a new designation for alcoholic...

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Bob arrives home after a long day at work and is greeted by his wife.

“I have good new and bad news about the new car you got me,” said the wife.

“What is the good news?”

“Well, the airbag works.”
 
I can't say no to my girlfriend when she gives me puppy dog eyes...

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If she could be that cruel to a poor, defenseless dog I can't imagine what she could do to me.
 
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"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'

And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas.

And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
 
So I'm not up to speed on this choosing a successor thing. I thought there was supposed to be a hut that had different colored smoke that went up, depending on which choice that was made? And then some sort of an aquatic ceremony involving a dancer and a sword?

This seems more like what happens when you can eat the giant steak at the sizzler and they give you a paper hat and a gift certificate for a trolling motor.
 
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