Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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"A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili...

The waitress says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".

He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?"

The other guy says, "No. Help yourself".

He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too".
 
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
“You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time…”
The cowboy replies,
“Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is an Airborne Ranger, the other is a Navy Seal, both serving overseas somewhere.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. (I know, a tear is coming to my eye too)
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
“I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

“Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.”
 
pmanton said:
Did you hear about the woman who backed into an airplane propeller?


Disaster!
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How about the butcher that kept accidentally backing into the meat grinder?




He always got a little behind with his orders!
 
A physics teacher writes a question on a board.

"A 40 kg child that is 100 cm tall, is holding a parent's arms swinging them at 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"

A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:

"In a foster home."
 
Tom Wells said:
How I feel learning a new skill (not sure why it doesn't display)

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interesting that it appears when quoting... by that I mean, it shows up in the dialog. Just not when the post appears.
 
Bob Noel said:
interesting that it appears when quoting... by that I mean, it shows up in the dialog. Just not when the post appears.
Click to expand...
That is interesting. And a shame too, because it was a great image.
 
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