Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Zeldman said:
And why is there instructions in Braille on the drive thru ATMs.??
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There actually is a logical answer to that question. The people who make the faceplate for the machines just make one type for all of them.

but you probably already knew that
 
Timbeck2 said:
There actually is a logical answer to that question. The people who make the faceplate for the machines just make one type for all of them.

but you probably already knew that
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And that’s such a dull explanation. I like mine better.
 
Bob Noel said:
How is that different that the exit row cards in other aircraft?
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It says that if you cannot read the card you have to contact a crew member. But how do you know if you cannot read it? Are there similar cards in other aircrafts?
 
Sifossifoco said:
It says that if you cannot read the card you have to contact a crew member. But how do you know if you cannot read it? Are there similar cards in other aircrafts?
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I do understand the problem with that card. It has been quite some time since I’ve flown in the big aluminum tube, but I recall similar cards on other aircrat types. But, I certainly could be mistaken.
 
I'm betting the braille is just silliness, because the interface is completely dependent on being able to read on screen menus.

We had a construction manager that had a custom sign put up, in English and Braille, that said "Caution, open shaft to ground floor", on a locked access panel to a plumbing riser shaft that was 2' square and 3' off the ground, in a commercial office building. Because we might have blind plumbers work on the system? I asked him why his second language was Braille and not Spanish, and he replied that the Spanish speaking plumbers could just look down after they unlocked and opened the door...no kidding.
 
Timbeck2 said:
There actually is a logical answer to that question. The people who make the faceplate for the machines just make one type for all of them.

but you probably already knew that
Click to expand...

Weell that makes sense.... but as Half Fast stated.....dull...:sleep::sleep:

:lol::lol:
 
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and just cover your own !!!
You'll be a lot happier and live longer!
 
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My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden
seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I
left to take care of another matter Before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower,
she sat on the toilet.

As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint
had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and
pulled without any success whatsoever.

Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a
sheet around herself. I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her
(Try to get a mental picture of this.). Julie tried to lighten the
embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never
seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them...... I just never
saw one mounted and framed."
 
Some punny ones:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
 
Cannot determine the veracity of this but....

I was practicing some landings after sundown at an untowered airport in florida on Friday. Everything goes smoothly, completely standard flight. I get out of the plane and start tying down after the flight, and after walking inside I see a man in a uniform asking if I had just been landing in a white plane. At first I thought I might be getting ramp checked, and said I was. I asked if he was an ASI.

Turns out it's a normal street cop. He asks how I'm doing and if everything is OK. I reply that yes, everything was fine, and ask if something was wrong?

He replies that he saw me landing since he was parked near the approach end of the runway outside the airport, and saw me land even though there were red lights to the left of the runway. He admits that he doesn't know much about this kind of thing, but says that he'd imagine that seeing red lights on a runway wasn't good.

I'm super confused because didn't see any red lights,

and don't even know of any lights that would stop me

from landing other than a light gun, which this airport

doesn't have on account if it being UNTOWERED. After asking him exactly what he thinks happens, followed by a bit of back and forth I realized what the problem was. He saw the PAPI lights, and since he was on the ground they looked red...

I explain this to him, show him the PHAK diagram and tell him how it works, and tell him that everything was fine. After a bit of convincing he admitted that he was outside of his domain and apologized, then he left.

TLDR: Cop sees papi lights and thinks it works like a red light at an intersection.
 
> 1. "He had delusions of adequacy. ” Walter Kerr
> 2. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
> 3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” - Clarence Darrow
> 4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
> 5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
> 6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas
> 7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain
> 8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde
> 9. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
> 10. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response
> 11. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here” - Stephen Bishop
> 12. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright
> 13. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb
> 14. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson
> 15. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating
> 16. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker
> 17. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain
> 18. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West
> 19. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde
> 20. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
> 21. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder
> 22. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.” - Groucho Marx
> 23. The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
> 24. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
> 25. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard
> 26. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
 
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