Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Albany Tom said:
To me, the cool thing is that I have absolutely no idea what either of those two things are. The one on the left looks maybe like a giant dust mite. The one on the right, maybe a sequel to a Winnie the Poo movie.
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You've missed out on some.... well..... they're definitely movies.
 
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So three Italian Nuns get to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says you have led exemplary lives and God has granted you 6 months back on Earth to be whoever you want to be. First one says Sophia Loren and poof, she's gone. Second one says Madonna and poof, she's gone. Third one says Sara Pipaline. St. Pete says, whose that. Sister reaches into her habit, pulls out a newspaper and hands it to him. Pete chuckles. The article was about the Sahara Pipe Line that was laid in 5 months by 14,000 workers.
 
And brilliant art it is, too. If Rembrandt were alive today, he wouldn't waste his time with those messy paints. Get just a little in your carpet, and it's a pain getting it out. Plus, they can make you sneeze. No, he'd just create timeless masterpieces like this one.
 
orca64 said:
if I’m not mistaken, this happened over North Sentinel Island, a part of the Andaman and Nicobar Island group that sits south of Burma. The natives are primitive and kill anyone who tries to land on their little slice of heaven.
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It didn't happen at all. But North Sentinel Island and the tribes is indeed a thing.
 
The Sentinelese have been know to shoot arrows at aircraft, but I don't think they ever hit one.
 
Several centuries ago the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community so the Pope offered a deal.

He would hold a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate.
However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, both sides agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger and shook it at the Pope.

Next the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger, shaking it to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.”

"Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God is all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God is also right here with us.”

"I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.”

"He beat me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," the rabbi said. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy so I shook my finger saying no.”

"Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."
 
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