Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees", "What powerful rivers", "What beautiful animals" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask YOU to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen"
 
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From my Facebook feed this morning...

Trying to figure out what an "intercourse village" is, but for $118 it's probably worth a shot :blowingkisses:. "Make your next trip memorable"
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Jim K said:
Trying to figure out what an "intercourse village" is, but for $118 it's probably worth a shot :blowingkisses:. "Make your next trip memorable"
Click to expand...

Not to ruin the ending, but it's just a town in PA. For a better time, you could try Climax, NC

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Jim K said:
From my Facebook feed this morning...

Trying to figure out what an "intercourse village" is, but for $118 it's probably worth a shot :blowingkisses:. "Make your next trip memorable"
Click to expand...

sort of like the time my trip itinerary listed the hotel as "The Golden Buff"

um....
 
luvflyin said:
Lets see. No electricity, ergo no TV. No internet. No.........etc. And no cars. Probably got no airplanes either. So's ya got's to ask. What do they do for entertainment?
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I grew up among them. They work six days a week. Sunday is the Lords day. Be of the world but not worldly. They value what glorifies the Lord and serves the community as a whole. Everything else is rejected. The community continues to grow in a world that is increasingly at odds with their values, That views them as a curiosity, an oddity. They have their issues but they are the real deal. They have my respect.
 
Morgan3820 said:
I grew up among them. They work six days a week. Sunday is the Lords day. Be of the world but not worldly. They value what glorifies the Lord and serves the community as a whole. Everything else is rejected. The community continues to grow in a world that is increasingly at odds with their values, That views them as a curiosity, an oddity. They have their issues but they are the real deal. They have my respect.
Click to expand...
Me too. I meant nothing derogatory in what I said. Just a punchline about all the intercourse and Climax stuff and the "...funny part is that it's pretty much in Amish country..." comment above as if they don't like to 'do it' or something.
 
luvflyin said:
Me too. I meant nothing derogatory in what I said. Just a punchline about all the intercourse and Climax stuff and the "...funny part is that it's pretty much in Amish country..." comment above as if they don't like to 'do it' or something.
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Not worried.
I wonder if they find the name of town humorous also? I never gave it much thought before.
 
luvflyin said:
Lets see. No electricity, ergo no TV. No internet.
Click to expand...

I remember seeing a ''educational'' tv show about an Amish dairy that sold their own products. As stated, no electricity, no air conditioning, no Tv, no phone, no computer and no internet in the house. Now the barn had all that except the Tv.

Refrigeration was required to be a dairy. Internet, computer and phone to take orders, A/C to keep customers happy while shopping. What I understood was do what needs to be done to satisfy regulations and codes for business, but keep the home living in simple ways. I have no problem with that.
 
We've bought a couple of nice pieces of furniture from an Amish/Mennonite partnership--I can track down the name if anyone is interested.

The Amish make the furniture. The Mennonites maintain the website, and handle internet and phone orders.
 
Morgan3820 said:
Not worried.
I wonder if they find the name of town humorous also? I never gave it much thought before.
Click to expand...

intercourse [ˈin(t)ərˌkôrs] NOUN
intercourse (noun)
communication or dealings between individuals or groups.
"everyday social intercourse"
synonyms:
dealings · relations · relationships · association · connections · contact · interchange · communication · intercommunication · communion · correspondence · negotiations · bargaining · transactions · proceedings · trade · trading · business · commerce · traffic · trafficking
short for sexual intercourse.
synonyms:
sexual intercourse · sex · lovemaking · making love · sex act · act of love · sexual relations · intimate relations · intimacy · coupling · mating · going to bed with someone · sleeping with someone · coitus · coition · copulation · fornication · carnal knowledge · (sexual) congress · commerce
ORIGIN
late Middle English: from Old French entrecours ‘exchange, commerce’, from Latin intercursus, from intercurrere ‘intervene’, from inter- ‘between’ + currere ‘run’. The specifically sexual use arose in the late 18th century.
 
So the Amish family goes to the big city. Why I dunno, but they’re there at the big store. Mom goes somewhere. Dad and son see a door where the doors slide left and right to open. They watch a frumpy old lady go in and the doors close. A couple minutes later the doors open again and a smoking’ hot babe comes out. Father turns to the boy and says “go get your mother.”
 
Wow...full circle back to post #1

Let'sgoflying! said:
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by
almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that
moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what
it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a
wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed
and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped
out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
Click to expand...
 
Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
 
A Mexican magician is performing at a childrens party. He tells the kids he’ll make himself disappear on the count of three. He proceeds, “Uno!….Dos!…. *Poof*!!!” He vanished without a tres.
 
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