An Excerpt of the Airline Dictionary:
CARRY-ON BAGGAGE - An item of unusually large dimensions that only fits under the seat when traveling to your destination, never on your return trip home. (Refrigerators, motorcycles, console TVs and Toyotas are not considered acceptable carry on baggage.)
FOG - A natural weather phenomenon usually occurring around airports while surrounding areas are clear. Fog is sometimes controlled by airlines to delay flights.
FLIGHT SCHEDULE - This is an entertaining fictional work used to confuse and irritate passengers with tight timelines.
PASSENGER - A herding creature of widely varying intelligence, usually found in pairs or small groups. They are sometimes known to become vicious and violent in simple, easily rectified situations. When frightened or confused, creatures collect into a group called a line . . . with no set pattern, often formed in very inconvenient places. Passengers often fall into one of four known species: Paxus Iratus, Paxus Latus, Paxus Inebriatus, or Paxus Stupifi.