Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

[Charlie Golf]

 

[NoHeat]

That was Hertz

And don’t forget Isotoner

 

[Half Fast]

And don’t forget Isotoner

And Chic Filet.

 

[CharlieD3]

Accurate

 

[Matthew]

"Drank a bottle of wine and filed my tax return last night. I'm getting back $6 million." - Ruth Buzzi

 

[bflynn]

Is this a Dad Meme?

 

[bflynn]

 

[Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe]

Is this a Dad Meme?

 

[Pilawt]

"Hey, Navigator -- come up topside. The Captain would like to congratulate you personally."

 

[Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe]

 

[Palmpilot]

https://xkcd.com/2584

 

[GaryM]

Since the Tesla thread is so active, here is another xkcd comic:

 

[Zeldman]

Since the Tesla thread is so active, here is another xkcd comic:

OMG that is too funny.!!

 

[CharlieD3]

 

[CharlieD3]

 

[Bill]

View attachment 104853

i don’t know, I’m thinking he just might be a little brighter than the rest.

 

[CharlieD3]

Options when gas hits $5.00 a gallon... How many trained geese to lift a plane?

 

[Jim K]

Options when gas hits $5.00 a gallon... How many trained geese to lift a plane?View attachment 104866

Canadian or Snow?

 

[wayne]

Is that BrYan?

Options when gas hits $5.00 a gallon... How many trained geese to lift a plane?View attachment 104866

 

[Plano Pilot]

YARN | It could be carried by an African swallow. | Monty Python and the Holy Grail | Video clips by quotes | 1d263ba7 | 紗 (getyarn.io)

 

[JOhnH]

Canadian or Snow?

It's Canada geese. They are a species, not a nationality.

 

[Zeldman]

It's Canada geese. They are a species, not a nationality.

Thank you.

I try to explain this to folks and then I get, ''are they just geese in Canada.??''

 

[MauleSkinner]

It's Canada geese. They are a species, not a nationality.

Either way, they’re crossing the border without clearing Customs.

 

[Pilawt]

It's Canada geese. They are a species, not a nationality.

You hear them saying "Eh? Eh? Eh?" As they fly over. And they leave little green hockey pucks on the ground wherever they go.

 

[Jim K]

 

[Charlie Golf]

 

[Half Fast]

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

3. If a Hollander married a Filipino, would their kids be Hollapinos?

4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

7. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

8. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”

9. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

12. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.

13. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”

14. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up her own incision? Suture self.

15. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

 

[MauleSkinner]

Puns are the second highest form of humor.

 

[aftCG]

I was going to tell a cow joke but I would just butcher it

 

[Pilawt]

The reverse spelling of 'pun' is 'nup'.

And a nup is a nup.

 

[Charlie Golf]

 

[Zeldman]

I don't understand why Tesla would disguise a charging station to look like a gas pump....

I know it is Texas and a Ford, but still...

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I saw one of those vans just yesterday near a charging site. I didn't get a picture, thought because it was just parked.

 

[bflynn]

You hear them saying "Eh? Eh? Eh?" As they fly over. And they leave little green hockey pucks on the ground wherever they go.

Winner. And now you will never NOT hear them saying "Eh".

 

[Half Fast]

 

[Hawker800]

 

[Lowflynjack]

 

[Sac Arrow]

So someone was peeing the words "F***** you Bill" in the snow around the White House. Bill Clinton was furious. He called in the Director of the FBI to investigate the matter personally.

A few days later, the FBI Director reported to Bill Clinton. "Mr. President, well, we did a DNA analysis on the urine. It was Jesse Jackson."

"Ah knew it! Ah just knew it! The son of a *****!" Clinton yelled as he shook is fist.

"Uh, but Mr. President, there is more. We also did a handwriting analysis... and it was Hillary's."

 

[luvflyin]

So someone was peeing the words "F***** you Bill" in the snow around the White House. Bill Clinton was furious. He called in the Director of the FBI to investigate the matter personally.

A few days later, the FBI Director reported to Bill Clinton. "Mr. President, well, we did a DNA analysis on the urine. It was Jesse Jackson."

"Ah knew it! Ah just knew it! The son of a *****!" Clinton yelled as he shook is fist.

"Uh, but Mr. President, there is more. We also did a handwriting analysis... and it was Hillary's."

First time I heard that one it was Al Gore

 

[Half Fast]

First time I heard that one it was Al Gore

I think it’s been around since George and Martha Washington....