Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

CharlieD3 said:
Words fail.
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Looks like the Spirit of St Louis, maybe to celebrate the Lindbergh flight?
 
"Frontier and Spirit Airlines have merged. The new airline says they'll feature animals fighting on the tail in their new livery."
 
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $250,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a starting package of 6-weeks vacation plus 3-weeks sick leave, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental insurance coverage, company matching savings plan to 50% of salary, and a new company car leased every 2 years ... say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
 
Apparently theres a big “sports” thing coming up, as my company relaxed its dress code for today and authorized us to wear our favorite team jersey.

for those of us who don’t really follow organized sports, and don’t have any official team jerseys, I found out that management prefers “shirts” over “skins”.:rolleyes:
 
Super Bowl tickets!

I know it’s late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SoFi Stadium Sunday February 13th. They are box seats and he paid $3500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $500 bar tab and a pass to the winner’s locker room after the game. He didn’t realize that it’s on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place. It’s at St. Paul’s Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She is 5’4”, about 100 pounds, a good cook, loves to play golf and will clean your plane. She’ll be the one in the white dress.
 
Charlie Golf said:
Super Bowl tickets!

I know it’s late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SoFi Stadium Sunday February 13th. They are box seats and he paid $3500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $500 bar tab and a pass to the winner’s locker room after the game. He didn’t realize that it’s on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place. It’s at St. Paul’s Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She is 5’4”, about 100 pounds, a good cook, loves to play golf and will clean your plane. She’ll be the one in the white dress.
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Is this just for the day, or longer?
 
A funny thing flying commercial this morning. On the bus from the parking lot I was a bit late and joked to the TSA guy that I was going to have to “OJ” my way through the airport to make my flight. He looked horrified, moved anyway and started texting furiously.

Turns out he had no idea OJ Simpson ever made a commercial for Samsonite Hertz.
 
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bflynn said:
A funny thing flying commercial this morning. On the bus from the parking lot I was a bit late and joked to the TSA guy that I was going to have to “OJ” my way through the airport to make my flight. He looked horrified, moved anyway and started texting furiously.

Turns out he had no idea OJ Simpson ever made a commercial for Samsonite.
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That was Hertz
 
bflynn said:
A funny thing flying commercial this morning. On the bus from the parking lot I was a bit late and joked to the TSA guy that I was going to have to “OJ” my way through the airport to make my flight. He looked horrified, moved anyway and started texting furiously.
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Somebody just made the no fly list...
 
Torque beast said:
I think it is for newer cars with manual transmission telling you to push in on the clutch
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Ah, the old "millennial manual" transmission. :rofl:

(OK, so it's not really millennials, it's Gen Z, but the alliteration just isn't there.)

wayne said:
Sorry, I thought the sarcasm was a little more obvious. I changed the font to green to make it more clear.
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You used WordPerfect for DOS back in the day, didn't you?

GaryM said:
When he was much younger, my son liked to hide in the middle of those circular racks of coats that are often found in the clothing section of department stores.
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Isn't that what they're for? You go in there, and then reach through the clothes and grab your sister so she screams!

Kids are so missing out now that we have smartphones and Amazon.

Edit: Why yes, I am three months behind on this thread. Carry on.
 
I was visiting an elderly lady who was a member of our church. Due to her age, she didn't get around much any more. We made a point to visit her from time to time. While we were chatting, without thinking, I helped myself to a dish of peanuts that was on an end table. To my horror I realized that I had finished the dish of peanuts.

I apologized to her. "Don't worry" she said. "Since I got my new teeth I can't eat them any more. I just suck the chocolate off them"
 
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