Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Daleandee said:
Seen my new neighbor in his yard with the dog and decided to go over and introduce myself. Learned his name was Jimmy and he appeard to be a likable kind of fella. I asked him if his dog would bite and he said "no." As we were talking the dog came walking by and I reached over to pat him on the head. He bit the snot out of me!

"Hey man" I screamed, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" "Well" Jimmy said, "that there ain't my dog!"
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Reminds me of this true story that is also humorous

Racehorse Haynes was a famous Texas defense lawyer and he said his strategy was as follows...

"Say you sue me because you claim my dog bit you. Well now, this is my defense:

1... My dog doesn't bite.
2... And second, in the alternative, my dog was tied up that night.
3.... And third, I don't believe you really got bit.
4.... And fourth, I don't have a dog."
 
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yeah, count me as one that doesn't get the reference....
 
Someone posted this on my HOA's FB page, they found it in the park and were looking for the owner.

Okay, now I don't know anything about Chase Rice, or really country music in general, and this may be great music. But is it just me, or does this seem like the perfect example of a stereotypical "country music" album? With songs like "Look at My Truck" and "Best Beers of Our Lives" it seems like a satire!

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If you play that CD backwards, your truck gets fixed, your dog/horse comes back from the dead, your hangover disappears, and your wife returns to you.
 
MuseChaser said:
If you play that CD backwards, your truck gets fixed, your dog/horse comes back from the dead, your hangover disappears, and your wife returns to you.
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your truck gets fixed - excellent!

your dog/horse comes back from the dead - even better

your hangover disappears - yes1

and your wife returns to you... um....
 
Bob Noel said:
your truck gets fixed - excellent!

your dog/horse comes back from the dead - even better

your hangover disappears - yes1

and your wife returns to you... um....
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Retold several times, but...(credit to the original author, whom I know not.)

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Lexus convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Lexus, looked at the old man, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, it's Friday and my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused........ Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.
 
RussR said:
Someone posted this on my HOA's FB page, they found it in the park and were looking for the owner.

Okay, now I don't know anything about Chase Rice, or really country music in general, and this may be great music. But is it just me, or does this seem like the perfect example of a stereotypical "country music" album? With songs like "Look at My Truck" and "Best Beers of Our Lives" it seems like a satire!
Click to expand...

I just went on youtube and listened to a few seconds of a few of these songs. I was not disappointed. They were EXACTLY like I figured they would be... ugh!
 
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