Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Zeldman said:
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE

A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a Mormon, a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.

Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by none.
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FTFY! :goofy:
 
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a very fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "You can't come in here without a Thai."
 
Attention @SixPapaCharlie and other Cirrus drivers

42537007_10155558910251571_5387398519864688640_n.jpg
 
Ryanb said:
You must’ve cropped out the last image of the guy who flies a 172 that has a line of women and strippers behind him.
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That's because they caught the poor bastard, found out he had no money for them, beat him to within inches of his life, and flew away in the 172 that was later found on eBay and Craig's List.
 
Ryanb said:
You must’ve cropped out the last image of the guy who flies a 172 that has a line of women and strippers behind him.
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Every time I leave the airport I have to use a different gate. They’re always out there, just waiting, “ooh a Cessna pilot”!
 
Wondering if I should rat out the vice principal of the junior high I attended because of the corporal punishment he administered.
 
AggieMike88 said:
Wondering if I should rat out the vice principal of the junior high I attended because of the corporal punishment he administered.
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Oh, man. In jr high gym class we had two choices of punishment: The "board of education" or go to the mat with the wrestling coach.

The first guy to goof off chose the paddle. He did not choose wisely. It looked like a heavy duty pizza peel with holes in it. It whistled a bit when swung hard, and I can still hear the "slap" when it hit that kid in the ass while he was bent over. He ran screaming around the gym for a few minutes looking like a cartoon character as we all laughed.

The second kid, remembering the first kid, chose the wrestling coach. He also did not choose wisely. Coach was one of those guys with his state and national trophies in his office, both from high school and college. After a few minutes the kid looked like Beetle Bailey after Sarge finished with him.

After those two guys chose unwisely, the rest of us did choose wisely...we chose not to be stupid. Except for the one kid that tried to stab the wrestling coach with a broken bottle outside the gym one day, he did not choose wisely.
 
Matthew said:
Oh, man. In jr high gym class we had two choices of punishment: The "board of education" or go to the mat with the wrestling coach.

The first guy to goof off chose the paddle. He did not choose wisely. It looked like a heavy duty pizza peel with holes in it. It whistled a bit when swung hard, and I can still hear the "slap" when it hit that kid in the ass while he was bent over. He ran screaming around the gym for a few minutes looking like a cartoon character as we all laughed.

The second kid, remembering the first kid, chose the wrestling coach. He also did not choose wisely. Coach was one of those guys with his state and national trophies in his office, both from high school and college. After a few minutes the kid looked like Beetle Bailey after Sarge finished with him.

After those two guys chose unwisely, the rest of us did choose wisely...we chose not to be stupid. Except for the one kid that tried to stab the wrestling coach with a broken bottle outside the gym one day, he did not choose wisely.
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I recall making a few boards for teachers in wood shop, and a couple wanted holes drilled in them. Think I was even the recipient of some of those boards. :yesnod:
 
The principal at my high school was 5' 23" tall....his description.

I believe the tip of the paddle went super sonic as he swung it...
 
Half Fast said:
I thought it was Cajun on a bad hair day.

Where’s she been, anyway?
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I see her post occasionally over on Uncontrolled Airspace, but I think she’s pretty much called it quits on POA.
 
AggieMike88 said:
Attention @SixPapaCharlie and other Cirrus drivers

42537007_10155558910251571_5387398519864688640_n.jpg
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It sure would be nice,..but...in most cases...I hear:

"A pilot, huh? Well, at least you're not one of those overly geeky dork ham radio operators who still lives in mommy's basement. You're close to that level, but not quite. And you think you're speeeeecial...you just don't get it, do you? And then there was this one guy who was both! He still needed his diapers changed!"
 
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timwinters said:
It sure would be nice,..but...in most cases...I hear:

"A pilot, huh? Well, at least you're not one of those overly geeky dork ham radio operators who still lives in mommy's basement. You're lclose to that level, but not quite. And you think you're speeeeecial...you just don't get it, do you? And then there was this one guy who was both! He still needed his diapers changed!"
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You need to stop hanging out at the Applebee's bar.
 
A couple of political type jokes


The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the
bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says,
"Whiskey." Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's
your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about
Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.


The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What
will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his
whiskey. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh,
about 50."


The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . .
still happy . . . with Obama? "
 
The second one was true and funny:) Don't think political jokes are much different than other jokes................. There jokes........
 
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1RTK1 said:
The second one was true
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Sorry for your loss. Identity theft is serious - someone may also be using it to steal from your uncle’s estate. Any leads on the culprit?
 
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The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the
bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says,
"Whiskey." Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's
your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about
Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.


The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What
will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his
whiskey. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh,
about 50."


The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . .
still happy . . . with Obama Trump? "


Seems just as funny this way.
 
Cap'n Jack said:
The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the
bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says,
"Whiskey." Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's
your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about
Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What
will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his
whiskey. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh,
about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . .
still happy . . . with Obama Trump? "

Seems just as funny this way.
Click to expand...

I think the original was much funnier.
 
DGlaeser said:
I think the original was much funnier.
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Donald Trump’s trouble with Stormy Daniels all started after his personal lawyer paid the porn star $130,000. The payment was flagged as suspicious by banking authorities. Suspicious, because someone actually got paid as promised by Donald Trump.
 
@Cap'n Jack , @DGlaeser , @Hawker800 , @1RTK1 , to name a few,

Don't take advantage of the fact that we have been more lenient with political content in the joke thread than we would be on the main board. We have allowed some political JOKES. However, if you start arguing politics in the joke thread we will issue warnings.
 
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