Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

We had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,and generally was bra-less, if I had to guess she was a C cup. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, “I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up with me and we’ll go to town.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

Moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
 
You know I luv ya bro. ;)

<walks away muttering under breath>




you little punk...calling me an old...came back to bite ya didn't it..well I showed you
 
mscard88 said:
Send fail. :D

It seems it was recent, within the past few weeks.
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That means someone would have to read almost the whole thread to get to it.
In thread like this, there are going to be repeats. It behooves no one to ***** about it. In fact, I thought it was funny because I hadn't read it previously.

Sorry 'card, but even though I usually agree with you, you are out of line here.
 
JOhnH said:
That means someone would have to read almost the whole thread to get to it.
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Actually you can just use the search box and search the punchline or similar that would be unique about the joke. The search strangely works really well on this forum unlike many others.
 
JOhnH said:
That means someone would have to read almost the whole thread to get to it.
In thread like this, there are going to be repeats. It behooves no one to ***** about it. In fact, I thought it was funny because I hadn't read it previously.

Sorry 'card, but even though I usually agree with you, you are out of line here.
Click to expand...

No no, I'm messing with @Ryanb. He and I do a little ribbing of each other. He knows I'm not cirrus. :D

But I thought I had seen it recently. Might've been my email, my boys send a lot of shet, most that can't be posted on POA.
 
JOhnH said:
That means someone would have to read almost the whole thread to get to it.
In thread like this, there are going to be repeats. It behooves no one to ***** about it. In fact, I thought it was funny because I hadn't read it previously.

Sorry 'card, but even though I usually agree with you, you are out of line here.
Click to expand...

Wow dude, if I had a Snickers bar I'd toss it your way.
 
Timbeck2 said:
Wow dude, if I had a Snickers bar I'd toss it your way.
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And I would catch it, hopefully in the same spirit in which it was tossed. mscard's friendly ribbing of Ryanb is fine. I just failed to pick the body language. But you gotta admit, trying to post a joke on here that has never been posted before is quite a challenge. That's is a big part of the reason I haven't posted many jokes.
 
JOhnH said:
And I would catch it, hopefully in the same spirit in which it was tossed. mscard's friendly ribbing of Ryanb is fine. I just failed to pick the body language. But you gotta admit, trying to post a joke on here that has never been posted before is quite a challenge. That's is a big part of the reason I haven't posted many jokes.
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Yeah mscard and I just like to give each other a hard time. It’s all good John. I do agree, that it’s very difficult to post a joke on here that hasn’t already been used. Oh well, I got a laugh out of it, so I figured I’d share.

Thanks for the concern.
 
JOhnH said:
And I would catch it, hopefully in the same spirit in which it was tossed. mscard's friendly ribbing of Ryanb is fine. I just failed to pick the body language. But you gotta admit, trying to post a joke on here that has never been posted before is quite a challenge. That's is a big part of the reason I haven't posted many jokes.
Click to expand...


No no...I would toss the Snickers to give you more energy to kill Mark. The man's a menace. :sosp:
 
Timbeck2 said:
No no...I would toss the Snickers to give you more energy to kill Mark. The man's a menace. :sosp:
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Naw!! Mark is my kind of man. He knows what he likes and he is not afraid of some wuss with a ban hammer.
 
There are Snickers?

1351747443728_1790757.png
 
A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious.
On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.
The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Squad Leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.
We saw each other simultaneously and took cover in the ditches on opposite sides of the road.
I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved.
He yelled back, 'Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American.'
So I said, 'Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!'
He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!'
Then there we were, in the middle of the road shaking hands, when a truck hit us!"
 
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and

he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

image.jpeg



"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep,"the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

LabradorRetrieverPurebredDog4YearsOldMaggieMay1.jpg





The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a ********ter. He's never been out of the yard."
 
Every three years. Just like clockwork. Is this tied to Cicadas? Or is it a conspiracy?

2009 https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/com...ake-friday-joke-day.12125/page-22#post-425667
2012 https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/com...ake-friday-joke-day.12125/page-53#post-959416
2015 https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/com...ke-friday-joke-day.12125/page-65#post-1949309
2018
mscard88 said:
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and
he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'
Click to expand...
 
Without even playing the video, I can see the camel’s toe. Tee hee
 
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