If I extrapolate many of the comments, it comes down to "since we didn't crash, it doesn't matter if we got close and I never knew it".
If you really think that, I think you're a fool. I doubt anyone here really thinks that.
I was trying to figure out what a reasonable distance would be when you don't have the ability to control the outcome because you don't know the situation is occurring. I could care less if a plane is 5 miles away and I didn't know it. I do care if they got 1000 feet from me and I didn't know it. My reasonable distance is between those two points somewhere. I voted 1/2 mile. I consider another plane closer than a 1/2 mile away from me without my knowledge to be a high risk situation.
And that plane couldn't get that close "going away from me" without it having been "coming towards me" first.
So saying "it depends" because of that simply means you don't understand.