If the controller had simply explained why the guy had to hold, there wouldn't have been any friction. In my experience and is what I tell all my trainees, "don't keep secrets." Pilots will help you out if they're informed of what is going on. However, in some situations, there simply isn't time to explain.
"I don't care what the weather is, I just want to shoot the approach." The controller's response should have been, "The weather has been reported at below minimums. If you go missed, I have no place to put you." Controllers are often put into a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Regardless of what you say, it is going to make someone happy yet rub someone else the wrong way.
I wasn't there. Just my opinion and it costs exactly what you paid for it.