The truth of being maried w/ kids exposed....

Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Never, ever think you are in competition with your spouse; if you ever find yourself arguing because she's "wrong" in some way that is not harmful, reconsider. Almost every argument I have had with my wife (of 36 years and counting) has been over issues which, by the next day, seemed trivial and unimportant.
 
Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Remember, you’re not as right as you think you are. There’s a whole different way of looking at things you’ve never known, and usually it’s right or real close to it. The longer you’re married, if you’re doing it properly, you’ll learn to not respond with the first thing that comes to mind, cause it only captures part of the truth. Wait for your wife to reveal the another angle, then sit on it for a while.
Also, be a man. That’s what she really wants though she may not realize it at the time. Women despise wimpyness.
 
It helped me to understand that you are about to create another identity/personality. There's yours, hers, and about to be yours (plural). That third one is new takes getting used to.
 
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Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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I will give you my standard advice I give every newly married groom, usually in the reception line.

Every morning, look at yourself in the mirror. Paste on a big silly grin and tell yourself, "You lucky bastard... you SO got the better end of this deal!"
 
Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Just kidding.





Congratulations !

Just know that being that young, the odds are stacked against you. You both have still some growing up to do. Make sure to grow up together and not apart.

Oh, and never go to bed angry.
 
weilke said:
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Just kidding.





Congratulations !

Just know that being that young, the odds are stacked against you. You both have still some growing up to do. Make sure to grow up together and not apart.

Oh, and never go to bed angry.
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Im about to turn 23, I told her we are lucky because most people dont find the love of their lives for years.
 
Rebel Lord said:
Im about to turn 23, I told her we are lucky because most people dont find the love of their lives for years.
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I’m counting on seeing some photos from this special day!

Congrats!
 
FWIW, I got married at 21, and my wife was 22. Here we are, 38 years later, still having the time of our lives. Congratulations! The secret? Put the rest of your family above yourself. The catch is, you ALL have to do that.
 
MuseChaser said:
FWIW, I got married at 21, and my wife was 22. Here we are, 38 years later, still having the time of our lives. Congratulations! The secret? Put the rest of your family above yourself. The catch is, you ALL have to do that.
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Excellent advice. That’s more or less what ended my first engagement. I always put her first. And so did she.
 
Sometimes, you can technically be correct; but it's still best to keep your mouth closed. If even the tiniest voice in your head opines that you should just be quiet; listen to it. "En boca cerrada, no entran moscas", as they say.

If she seems quickly irritated, and you can't quite figure out what's up; find some food she likes, and present it to her. Leave her alone for a little while. Check mood. Repeat.

You may not want to talk about the same things sometimes; like people from her work. You listen. Don't let your mind wander; it can happen easily. Just listen. You're to say nothing else other than "Why in the world would she do that?" or similar. You solve nothing; nor do you try. You just need to make it obvious that you are 100% listening. It won't last that long, I promise, but suck it up, and just listen.

That's all I got.
 
MuseChaser said:
FWIW, I got married at 21, and my wife was 22. Here we are, 38 years later, still having the time of our lives. Congratulations! The secret? Put the rest of your family above yourself. The catch is, you ALL have to do that.
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I was 22 and my wife had just turned 20. 38th Anniversary is next week. So many things I’ve learned since then. But mainly being committed to making your marriage work for you both is the secret. And as MuseChaser put it, you ALL have to do that.
 
This thread sounds exhausting. If you'll excuse me I have a TV dinner and a TV with my name on it.
 
Matthew said:
I've always believed that nobody ever said it would be easy.

We're coming up on our 34th anniversary next month.
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If they tell you it’s easy they’re naive or selling something. But it’s worth it.
 
Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Half of all marriages end in divorce. The other half end in death.

I just can't see this ending well for you.

Advice....

1) When you are wrong, immediately apologize. When you are right, immediately apologize. Love means always having to say you're sorry.
2) At the wedding reception, do not offer this toast: "To our wives and our sweethearts - may they never meet."
3) Never buy her a horse (trust me).
 
SCCutler said:
I interpreted that as jokingly referencing the fact that the best marriages end in death.
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Could be. Sometimes it’s hard for me to decipher what’s a joke and what isn’t thru text based communication - and without the emoticons.

I wish the lad well!
 
Half Fast said:
1) When you are wrong, immediately apologize. When you are right, immediately apologize. Love means always having to say you're sorry.
2) At the wedding reception, do not offer this toast: "To our wives and our sweethearts - may they never meet."
3) Never buy her a horse (trust me).
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1. Check
2. Check
3. …….damnit!! :mad:

25 years in November
 
Ever wonder why husbands die first.???




Because they want to..!!!

I was 51 when we got married. Wish I had met her earlier, but if we had married sooner there are many adventures that I would not have experienced.

9 years as of last June, first for both of us. I didn't rob the cradle, she robbed the grave...!!! :lol::lol:
 
Zeldman said:
Ever wonder why husbands die first.???

Because they want to..!!!
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Funny thing with that saying. I used to not like it and take it pessimistically, more as the husbands being sick of being nagged. Now I think of it differently (although it's still morbid) taking it more as husbands not wanting to go on without their wife.
 
Fiveslide said:
My first name is reasonably common, unisex, but can be spelled several different ways.

When I have to give my name to the fast food cashier, I use Tom. It's not my name but it's one syllable and easy for them to punch into the register. You ever have the fast food cashier ask you how to spell your name, like it friggin matters that Chick-fil-A has the spelling correct?
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I did. I said "JD" and when he asked me how to spell that, I looked him straight in the eye and slowly said "J....D" then couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.
 
Ted DuPuis said:
Funny thing with that saying. I used to not like it and take it pessimistically, more as the husbands being sick of being nagged. Now I think of it differently (although it's still morbid) taking it more as husbands not wanting to go on without their wife.
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Having seen it happen both ways with friends and family members, I'm convinced that losing a spouse is much harder on the husband than the other way around. If my wife goes first, I'll be devastated. OTOH, if I go first she'll likely bring a date to my funeral, if she attends.....
 
Half Fast said:
If my wife goes first, I'll be devastated
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I know if my wife goes first it will absolutely devastate me. The two weeks she was gone when she went to visit her mother just about did me in.

But I am pretty sure she will out live me by around 20 to 30 years. I have been doing all I can to get her independent. I keep telling her to find another good man close to her age so she won't be lonely. Every time I say that she cries and says she does not want anyone else.
 
jsstevens said:
If they tell you it’s easy they’re naive or selling something. But it’s worth it.
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Everybody's experience is different. I actually think marriage has been easy, and nothing but enjoyable. We are both easy going folks, but more importantly, we align on all major things like God, family, money management, education, politics, etc. We don't sweat the small stuff and trust each other absolutely. I'm super lucky, and I think it must be rare.

Rebel Lord said:
Im getting married in 5 days and my bride turns 21 in 2 days :biggrin:

Any advice?
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Pragmatic advice for a newbie: JOINT BANK ACCOUNT
Learn to manage your money together. You both need to think of each others' earnings as OUR money, not his and hers, and decide how to spend it together.
Some will disagree. That's fine. Everybody does things differently, but financial issues end a lot of marriages, and separate money can promote disunity, which is the opposite of marriage.

I would also suggest letting God be part of your lives together, pray together, and study the Bible together if you are inclined, but I understand that can be a very off-putting subject these days and on this medium. I'll leave it at that, and hope nobody flips their lid about it.
 
OkieFlyer said:
Everybody's experience is different. I actually think marriage has been easy, and nothing but enjoyable. We are both easy going folks, but more importantly, we align on all major things like God, family, money management, education, politics, etc. We don't sweat the small stuff and trust each other absolutely. I'm super lucky, and I think it must be rare.



Pragmatic advice for a newbie: JOINT BANK ACCOUNT
Learn to manage your money together. You both need to think of each others' earnings as OUR money, not his and hers, and decide how to spend it together.
Some will disagree. That's fine. Everybody does things differently, but financial issues end a lot of marriages, and separate money can promote disunity, which is the opposite of marriage.

I would also suggest letting God be part of your lives together, pray together, and study the Bible together if you are inclined, but I understand that can be a very off-putting subject these days and on this medium. I'll leave it at that, and hope nobody flips their lid about it.
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Still trying to figure out what we are going to do with our money. She is very conservative with money and she’s been on me to sit down with her and make a budget.


As far as God in our relationship I can say he definitely is. We both are part of the same church and that’s how we met. We believe marriage is a three fold cord between me and her and God. We try to have a bible study once a week and we pray together before every meal
That’s pretty much our secret why we think we are going to have a long happy marriage even though we are young. :)
 
Rebel Lord said:
Still trying to figure out what we are going to do with our money. She is very conservative with money and she’s been on me to sit down with her and make a budget.
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That's a good start. Make sure not to overthink it, though. You each need your "play" money for hobbies and such so make sure to clear that with each other. The hard discussions are going to be about big discretionary expenses, like possibly a flying budget unless the both of you are good with the way things are. There's more than just you and her now, there's the both of you and your life together that needs to be handled in that budget - house, vacations, saving for a family or other expenses, things like that.

Oh, and don't forget to work out in advance which family gets you at Thanksgiving and which one gets you at Christmas!
 
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