Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

tspear said:
This is supposed to be the joke thread. Since I am happily married, I do get to make comments about shackles and other aspects of marriage.
But, this conversation has become way too serious for a joke thread.

Tim
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Yeah Tim ... there's a lot of not funny post on this page. So to make amends ... :thumbsup:

***

Recently while doing visitation the group stopped at an elderly woman's home. In the process of talking she offered us all a large glass of southern sweet tea. It was cool, dark, and sweet. I was also enjoying some peanuts she had in a bowl on the coffee table.

When we got up to leave I had to apologize as I had eaten nearly that entire bowl of peanuts. I even offered to reimburse her for the costs of them. She refused and said, "no big deal, since I lost my teeth all I can do these days is suck the chocolate off of them anyways."
 
Pope Leo came to visit Chicago. While there he was approached by a teenage boy.
"Can you please help me with my hearing, Your Holiness?", asked the boy.
The Pope put his hands over the boy's ears, mumbled a couple of prayers, and then asked him,"how is your hearing now, my son?"
The boy replied, "I don't know; it's not till next Tuesday!"
 
I see the dad jokes are starting to overwhelm the joke thread. Fair warning ... I have the latest dad jokes too book, and I'm not afraid to use it!

Examples:

1) I used to work at a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.

2) Then I got a job smashing cans. It was soda pressing ... :sleep:
 
Daleandee said:
1) I used to work at a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.
Click to expand...
Did you hear that Lena got fired from the Tickle Me Elmo factory? Apparently she sewed balls onto every doll. When the foreman saw it, he said, “Lena! Why are you sewing balls onto the Tickle Me Elmo dolls?”

She replied, “you told me to!”

“No, Lena!” exclaimed the foreman. “I told you to give each doll two test tickles!”
 
I had a student that was afraid of the big band saw in the metal shop and flat out refused to use it.

Though, in all fairness, when I did safety orientation I would point out that butcher shops used band saws and they cut through meat and bone just fine...


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This can be funny, or it can be a reminder of the 10-second brain rot video world we live in. Your choice if you want to laugh or cry.

I give you the Electronic Apeman:
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“There is a moment of realization in a man’s life when despite what his DL says his hair color is a cop hands him a written warning and writes “bald” on the hair color line”…
 
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