Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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Back in the olden days when all I had was a motorcycle to ride in the winter (Ann Arbor Michigan), the bike could get through when cars could not. Ice was a problem, snow was not.
 
Floodwaters can be tricky, too:

(and never forget that Today Show reporter in the canoe when two guys walked past in ankle deep water.)

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are on a fishing trip. So after awhile when they were fishing, the priest said he forgot something, so he climbed out of the boat and walked on the water to get it and came back. About an hour later, the minister said he forgot something, too, so he went out of the boat, walked on the water, got it, and came back. A bit later, the Rabbi thinks to himself 'If God lets them walk on water, he'll let me too,' so he climbed out of the boat and fell into the water. Then, the priest asked the minister, "Do you think we should tell him where the rocks are?"
 
Zeldman said:
A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are on a fishing trip. So after awhile when they were fishing, the priest said he forgot something, so he climbed out of the boat and walked on the water to get it and came back. About an hour later, the minister said he forgot something, too, so he went out of the boat, walked on the water, got it, and came back. A bit later, the Rabbi thinks to himself 'If God lets them walk on water, he'll let me too,' so he climbed out of the boat and fell into the water. Then, the priest asked the minister, "Do you think we should tell him where the rocks are?"
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood. The rabbit says, I think I might be a type-O.
 
AggieMike88 said:
Overheard on the PA system of old Texas stadium back in the day

“Will the den mother of Cub Scout pack 345 please come to the customer service desk to collect the scouts. They are beating the cowboys 21-0.”
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I heard car breakins were getting bad in Texas. A friend told me the other day his cousin’s car was parked in a Dallas Wal-Mart parking lot, and he had two Dallas Cowbow’s season pass tickets laying on the passenger seat. Someone broke his passenger window and left two more.
 
The best chicken joke ever:


A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg is frowning and looking a bit ****ed off.

The egg mutters to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
 
A good golf joke....

You don't have to be good at either to still enjoy it.
 
Please excuse the profanity...
But after buying about $300 of Under Armour recently this just resonates too hard not to share.

FUw1aWLXECJOAFz45dNS2-UAiZJLOXcAaGaA2HBkquRWd4D4nut8LYid3CfFuUisri0uqijqf7LQVqUOOwwo3s-tf2ikLWBjiarqk--CdlSkyONdRMgzXsOiVlYVRUlGa2aqgXaJuG9Vq0okdJTonFSCGIfIRr9Oiq4EXb8zxuacDMXUOMeQgHdgllnB8CePXhAeiTNxNMHEs1h71AxcWYpd2X3t0xuBqmQPygHC6D9XQ1cB9COjl1b6WO5_h1ZpVuGpr5Iyg93SOu6eWuLptqqZxsK4cldmGwg730qtUwvHi7lXuZicn_mXag4Xl8EUugjDoRAMN9ZqBa3JZzbiSort-IlK8XUgziVOy_aIrySoL5n4giRv5eVRIO5QWu70UioMQduUm6I3_vp7q-l-ebGu7R2wowbUIX_nCYaSt3K6duIXrCdr_w90lk5GfYRtBsGqe2y0u3UHZlbiQ0tQyo_aZrPaH19312uhHx20kX4D5mGRgGISB2yOjU0Q1PGBzIurywvn6yrLiHLWlcPMVPoVofpVMBSCQyHL2FfYImiMvZjfky2uqRlwxWP4el1FQPyV3VV6wTZpW5a5OKW7tGYO2jhdSgCUda5fr3SbudDW5H8pcYUZ7UzAo693PgfFQVoCTnPDFwDBtT6gMv1bJSZE5vJjpkSo44ydPOFfarnuBEX4gUR3VPLXOV1LmIDXIqUrfKH5Lm-EppMKwr20QSxwR6TsGHCA1pStHzRpDRgqgnb0qT4L1K34bWPEUC3yc1L7ejZ_GgtS6akQ3d_K09jbxaStgPaiWBxnoDQEykobeyumS8jeIV7C4NrnNV9pdBjaKx_KSzMQVN_xDSUNFHFgkn8ker50VCJfuB69fkSMO0aeQOXMpzIaNoHVIGSdIYNod3SYT6ndChlVFyLnfIr3HFymCvSKFRs_AP-CCVL-DddwVA=w570-h849-no
 
Matthew said:
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1. What?
2. Is there a text-to-voice version?
3. It’s not the taverns, it’s the people.
4. Not worried about contracting Black Death…
5. ‘Cause I don’t date her.
6. What high school’s team is that again?
7. I got ploughed pretty heavily at the rowdy tavern, and it hurts my back if I bow too long.
8. All those buildings painted black. Ugh.
9. Elvis, right?
10. One hovel in France is plenty.
 
ON AGING, Dr Seuss
-------------
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bed-can you tell?

My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
Have come at last
The Golden Years
Can kiss my ass.
 
Palmpilot said:
It's starting to feel like I need to take out a home-equity loan every time I shope for food.
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In the interest of truth in advertising, I think the stores should start advertising that they are now selling less for more. :D
 
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