Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Diet Questions Answered

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a Ride'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
 
How To Tell If Your Feet Stink:

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:rofl: I don't care who you are, that right there is FUNNY!!!!! :rofl:
 
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing
with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked and
said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa
went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom
and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and
the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the
problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open
the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello
son, is your Grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the
bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

The minister fainted.
 
I'm glad I wasn't drinking something when I read that, or you'd owe me a new keyboard. :p
 
Sick Leave

I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
 
Last January the New Orleans Times Picayune reported that a Cajun amateur archeologist having dug to a depth of 10 feet and found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years.... and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Cajuns, in the weeks that followed, Texan scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet. Shortly after, headlines in the Dallas Morning News read: 'Texas archaeologist have found traces of 200-year old copper wire, and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years earlier than the Cajuns.'

One week later, The Birmingham News reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 30 feet in fields near Tuscaloosa, Bubba (Earl Ed) Williams, an Alabama graduate, football player, and self-taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago in Alabama they were already using wireless.'
 
cultural norms now indicate that you don't have to wait until Friday to post a joke.

Just so's ya know. ;)
 
Women's Study

There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty interesting:
  1. 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
  2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
  3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.
 
Half Time

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides."
 
The new wife sent these to me today. Hmmm, a little help please, should I be worried?

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ComputersForWomen.jpg
 
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him
a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair
of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.


She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."


Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.


The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10 lbs. as promised.


He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.


The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".


Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in
excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the
next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in
better and better shape.


Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he
discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to
go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program


"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our
most rigorous program."


"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."


The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink
running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you,
your ass is mine."


He lost 63 pounds that week.
 
Man, if I was drinking something right then, you'd owe me a new keybaord Troy!
 
Getting Prepared...

An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting",the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
 
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the Girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the Maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing
A major problem for the custodian who had to clean the Mirrors every
Night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.


Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.... and then there are educators.
 
There was once a woman who prayed every day for 20 years that she'd win the lottery. Every single day. Finally, in despair, she said, "God, I've been a true and faithful servant and have lived an exemplary life. Why won't you grant me this one thing?"

"Look," said God, "at least meet me half way -- buy a lottery ticket."



 
There once was a priest who really loved to play golf. He awoke one Sunday morning to a beautiful sunny day and thought, "I've just got to play golf today!"

He called over the assistant priest and told him he didn't feel well and asked him to say mass for him. The assistant priest agreed and the priest snuck out the back door with his golf bag.

An angel in heaven, after watching all of this, went to God and said, "He is ditching his duties to go play golf. He should be punished!" God replied that He would keep an eye on the situation.

The priest decided to drive a long distance away to ensure he wasn't seen by anyone from his church. He took his first shot and got a hole in one! As the priest danced around celebrating his good fortune, the angel went to God and said, "God, I am surprised at you! That doesn't seem to be a severe punishment to me!"
God replied,

"Who is he going to tell?"
 
Who says Today's Kids aren't smart ?? (Well, some of them are!!! )

I wish I'd thought of this...

At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school

Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats. 1,2,4.

Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.
 
Lewinsky and Kaczynski

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the "Style Invitational."

The requirements in a recent week were to use the two words "Lewinsky" (the Intern) and "Kaczynski" (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.

Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.
 
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Parisi?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?!"

"4 months vacation and five good leads."
 
Three Southerners and Three Yankees

One morning, three Southerners and three Yankees were in a ticket counter line at a train station. The three Northerners each bought a ticket and
watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Yankees.

"Watch and learn," answered one of the boys from the South.

All six boarded the train where the three Yankees sat down, but the three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the door.

Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets.

He knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea. Indeed, so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment, the three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked one of the perplexed Yankees.

"Watch and learn," answered the three Southern boys in unison.

When they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train began to move, one of the southerners left their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were hiding.

The Southerner knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."

There's just no way on God's green earth to explain how the Yankees won the war.
 
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City, a nd I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."

The teacher sat down and cried.
 
A tough old cowboy from Missoula, Montana, counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103.

When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great
grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be !!
 
You too may be a redneck pilot if...

Your stall warning plays Dixie.

You get your preflight briefing from the Psychic Hotline.

Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.

You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.

You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.

You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.

Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.

You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.

You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.

You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.

The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.

Your aircraft has a hitch.

You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.

You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.

You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".

You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.

You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.

You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.

You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.

Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.

You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.

You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.

You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.

You've ground looped after hitting a cow.

You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.

There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.

You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.

There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.

You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.

You use your parachute to cover your plane.

You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.

The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.

Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.

Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.

You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"

You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.

You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.

You use you landing light for hunting.

Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.

You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.

There are grass stains on your propeller tips.

The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.

Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.

When starting the prop you injure five dogs.

Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.

You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.

When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.

You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.

You siphon Jet-A out of your King Air for your space heater.

Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, Y'all watch this!!"
 
I haven't read all the jokes in this thread, so I apologize if this one has been previously posted. I just got in an email and thought I'd share....


While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in
heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Golden Gate.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in,
it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official
around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with
you."
"No problem, just let me in,"says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in
heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,"
says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he
goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds
himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the
distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all
his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to
greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good
times they had while getting rich at the expense of the
people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine
on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy
who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are
having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is
time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and wave while
the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven
where St.Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit
heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of
contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the
harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he
realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter
returns. "Well then, you've spent a day in hell and
another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before,
I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would
be better off in hell.

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and
he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and
garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,picking
up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash
falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his
shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator.
"Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and
clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......Today you voted."
 
Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, "Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?"

The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.

The president said, "Moses!" in a loud voice.

The man just sta red ahead, never acknowledging the president. The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, "Am I crazy or does that man not look like Moses to you? The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.

"Well," said the president, "every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak. Watch!" Again the president yelled, "Moses!" and again the man ignored him.

The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"

He man leaned over and whispered back, "Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses. The last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with no oil."
 
On Marriage and Women...

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
--David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
--Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
--Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
--Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
--Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
--Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
--Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
--Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
--Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
--James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
--Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
--Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
--Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
--Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
--Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
--Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
--Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
--Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
 
A lapsed Catholic named Michael had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space. Looking up to heaven he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I'll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life." Miraculously, a parking space appeared. Michael looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
 
Tragedy







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The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".


One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."

No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A littl e girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss. " The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.


Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either!
 
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