Funniest thing you've heard on the radio?

Tonight:

BOS Center: Airline 123, cross seven miles west of MERIT at, and maintain 7,000; altimeter 29.55.
Airline 123: Umm, MERIT at 5,000?
BOS: Man, I even tried to group the numbers for you. Seven west at 7. 2955.
Airline: 7 at 7 and 2955, alright, got it.

Random voice: We're pilots, you should use smaller words.
BOS: Mmhmm. You're not telling me anything new, I've been shoveling this for thirty years!
 
When I was a student F-15 pilot:
Bonanza: "Danelly tower, Bonanza 1234B 12 miles out for the visual"

Danelly Tower: "Bonanza 1234B, Danelly tower, I either need you to push it up to get in front of traffic on the 13 mile arc or spin to get behind him"

B: "Uh, he's going to pass me from the 13 mile arc?"

DT: "Yes, traffic is an F-15"

B: "Umm......" "How about you let him do whatever he wants and I'll get out of his way."

DT: "Good call. Stack 1, you are cleared T&G..."
 
Click,,,,, WoW it's quite today...........Click........it was till a minute ago.......
 
*random speaking in Spanish*
"Bienviendos a los Estados Unidos. Hable ingles por favor!"
"Puta!" *random cursing in Spanish*
 
smigaldi said:
They are used all the time in communications, very much still in vogue through out marine and military, MARS, and ham radio. But you would never say 'over and out'. The proword over means that you are done with your transmision and awaiting response. Out means that your transmission is over and no response is required. Using them together would be improper.
Click to expand...

Exactly right -- "Over and out" was never used except by dim bulbs who were quickly corrected.
 
dmccormack said:
Exactly right -- "Over and out" was never used except by dim bulbs who were quickly corrected.
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Much like "Roger" and "Wilco"

Roger - I understood the last transmission
Wilco- I understood the last transmission and will comply.
 
This is in the spirit of the thread.... sorta

I had a CFI named Roger, during my private training, so on occasion when he would give me a direction I would lower my voice to the best Airline Capt. tone (which takes work as I'm a "girl") and say

"Roger, Roger." and giggle - he usually snorted at me and shook his head....
 
As a student, after a particularly bad crosswind landing in a Cherokee, I heard this: LNS TOWER: "Cherokee 12345, be sure to log all three of those landings."
 
Once when I made a take off that bounced back on the runway and then took off my CFI asked which one of the take offs I'd like to count and I replied: the smoothest one

We were in my 152 with a density alt. of 7200 or so... develops patience
 
SkyHog said:
Much like "Roger" and "Wilco"

Roger - I understood the last transmission
Wilco- I understood the last transmission and will comply.
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I love the people who answer a question from the tower with "roger".

One of the instructors in Lubbock would do that.
TWR: "Is this one a full stop?"
INST: "Roger."

:mad2:
 
dmccormack said:
As a student, after a particularly bad crosswind landing in a Cherokee, I heard this: LNS TOWER: "Cherokee 12345, be sure to log all three of those landings."
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To which the only proper response is, of course, "WILCO!" :smile:
 
Anyone remember the controller at MKE (maybe late nineties) with the sultry voice.

Instead of "remain this frequency taxi to parking" she would say "and you can go all the way with me"
 
bigred177 said:
I love the people who answer a question from the tower with "roger".

One of the instructors in Lubbock would do that.
TWR: "Is this one a full stop?"
INST: "Roger."

:mad2:
Click to expand...


Student pilots have been known to do that. :blush:
 
bigred177 said:
I love the people who answer a question from the tower with "roger".

One of the instructors in Lubbock would do that.
TWR: "Is this one a full stop?"
INST: "Roger."

:mad2:
Click to expand...

That response is perfectly clear. It means: "I understand your query and refuse to answer it".:D
 
Jeanie said:
This is in the spirit of the thread.... sorta

I had a CFI named Roger, during my private training, so on occasion when he would give me a direction I would lower my voice to the best Airline Capt. tone (which takes work as I'm a "girl") and say

"Roger, Roger." and giggle - he usually snorted at me and shook his head....
Click to expand...

Prolly wasn't the first time he heard that from someone.:smile:

Did you ever try: "Roger, Roger, WILCO, over and out."? That ought to get more than a snort.:D

And why is "roger" pronounced "rod-jur" instead of "row-grr"?
 
gismo said:
That response is perfectly clear. It means: "I understand your query and refuse to answer it".:D
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:rofl: I like that, I'm going to start using that on the company radio freq!

gismo said:
Prolly wasn't the first time he heard that from someone.:smile:

Did you ever try: "Roger, Roger, WILCO, over and out."? That ought to get more than a snort.:D

And why is "roger" pronounced "rod-jur" instead of "row-grr"?
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"We have our clearance, Clarance. Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"

I've spent a lot of time flying in Maine, so I always thought it was pronounced "Rog-ah," as in "lobstah."
 
Teller1900 said:
I've spent a lot of time flying in Maine, so I always thought it was pronounced "Rog-ah," as in "lobstah."
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There's a controller around DC, either Washington Center or Potomac Approach who would say "Rad-jah" and "Seeeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaa" when changing frequencies. I always appreciate personality on the radio.
 
I was flying over Albany one Sunday afternoon, above their class C, and listening to the tower. I could see some big jets moving around on the ground below when I hear (in a very angry voice) "Jet Blue, stay where you are! I didn't tell you to move! UPS, I said make a RIGHT on Charlie, not a left!! What's wrong with you guys? Can't you follow instructions??" .....thinking to myself, "I'm glad I ain't down there!". LOL!!!
 
OffCenter said:
I was flying over Albany one Sunday afternoon, above their class C, and listening to the tower. I could see some big jets moving around on the ground below when I hear (in a very angry voice) "Jet Blue, stay where you are! I didn't tell you to move! UPS, I said make a RIGHT on Charlie, not a left!! What's wrong with you guys? Can't you follow instructions??" .....thinking to myself, "I'm glad I ain't down there!". LOL!!!
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sounds like the short version of one of the old jokes ... it was a female controller laying down the rant. After chewing out everyone within 10 miles of the tower, she then finished with "any questions?" ... an unidentified male voice comes up "Wasn't I married to you once?"
 
I just can't wait for "Talk like a Pirate Day" again...
 
Atlanta approach: "Northwest 123, climb and, er...disregard."

Northwest 123: "Disregard is what we do best."
 
Thurs nite, somewhere in flyover country I was listening to Channel 9:

"Southwest xxx: you got a score"
"Southwest xxx, I can't tell you that, might be upsetting seeing as you're out of Texas"
 
A few weeks ago after landing at CYYC...

Ground: N12345 what is your destination on the field?

Us: 345 is going to customs.

Ground: 345, Taxi to customs and give us a call when you are done customizing.
 
After a short flight one day - as I was headed back in to land, there wasn't any other traffic in the pattern. The tower had already cleared me to land. As I was on final, the tower came back and said "Ah, caution - there's been a flock of pigeons circling low midfield. They've landed and are to the left of the runway right now, but you should be alright..."

Biting my tongue, I responded: "Roger"

What I was thinking, and to this day, wish I had said: "Well, tell them to get the flock out of the way!"

So much for missed opportunities...

~ OshKosh
 
OshKosh said:
After a short flight one day - as I was headed back in to land, there wasn't any other traffic in the pattern. The tower had already cleared me to land. As I was on final, the tower came back and said "Ah, caution - there's been a flock of pigeons circling low midfield. They've landed and are to the left of the runway right now, but you should be alright..."

Biting my tongue, I responded: "Roger"

What I was thinking, and to this day, wish I had said: "Well, tell them to get the flock out of the way!"

So much for missed opportunities...

~ OshKosh
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Hello, OshKosh. Just found you hiding out in here. Tell us a little about yourself. Welcome to POA.
 
AuntPeggy said:
Hello, OshKosh. Just found you hiding out in here. Tell us a little about yourself. Welcome to POA.
Click to expand...

Oops! I've been browsing the forums here so long I didn't realize that was my first post!

I'll keep it short since this was not my thread...

I started lessons 15 years ago and had to stop due to school/finances/etc. I was about 30 hours in at the time. Fast forward to last year - (school, a family, and a career later...) I decided it was time to finish the dream! It didn't take long to get back in the groove, even after 15 years. I finished it up a few months ago and officially have my PPL. I have logged just under 80 hours now. Most of my flying these days is in the way NorCal area (KRDD). Just waiting for the weather to cooperate now!

As I indicated above, I've been frequenting this forum for almost a year now, and I appreciate the insights, perspectives, and information provided by all of the members!

~ OshKosh
 
OshKosh said:
Oops! I've been browsing the forums here so long I didn't realize that was my first post!

I'll keep it short since this was not my thread...

I started lessons 15 years ago and had to stop due to school/finances/etc. I was about 30 hours in at the time. Fast forward to last year - (school, a family, and a career later...) I decided it was time to finish the dream! It didn't take long to get back in the groove, even after 15 years. I finished it up a few months ago and officially have my PPL. I have logged just under 80 hours now. Most of my flying these days is in the way NorCal area (KRDD). Just waiting for the weather to cooperate now!

As I indicated above, I've been frequenting this forum for almost a year now, and I appreciate the insights, perspectives, and information provided by all of the members!

~ OshKosh
Click to expand...

JOOC are you from Oshkosh originally? If so I started flying around 15 years or so in Oshkosh, and was wondering if you knew some of the same people I did back then.
 
vontresc said:
JOOC are you from Oshkosh originally? If so I started flying around 15 years or so in Oshkosh, and was wondering if you knew some of the same people I did back then.
Click to expand...

Nope - It's a nickname I've had for years. It's pure coincidence that I had the opportunity to use it as my avatar on an aviation forum - given the relative significance/fame of the Oshkosh Airshow. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Wisconsin, but my mother was born there! (In Wisconsin, not Oshkosh specifically...)

~ OshKosh
 
heard two today.....

A guy flying into KILG kept screwing up the calls and had to be called a few times, mutiple times by the tower. He didn't "sound" like a newbie, not nervous but just not very responsive. Anyway....after he gets direction for the third time the frustration shows as he responds to the tower with a big 10-4...I'm still rolling from that one.

The second one today was on my flight home from Richmond. I'm north east bound at 5,500 and I have traffic that just departed from KMFV, Accomack County Airport in Melfa, Virginia maybe 6-10 miles east of my flight track. I also had a call out for traffic at my 12, 5000, opposite direction. The controller was overloaded I guess and as he gave me the traffic call out for the departing aircraft from MFV he got to " traffic at your one o' clock a......um......unkeys and I hit the PTT and say Cessna 150, 08 Romeo looking for traffic. He said yep thats the one or thats it something like that. Mary and I just busted up laughing.
 
I was looking over my flight videos when I heard this.

Mcguire Approach: "Cessna 123AB flight of 3 to 8 at your 2 O'clock between 1,000 and 6,000 5 Miles."

Cessna 123AB: "Sounds like fun!"

Mcguire Approach: "Not for me"
 
Coming back to Tyndall from Kelly AFB on Saturday we had a 102 knot tail wind at FL250, we're cruising at .97 mach so we're getting a ground speed of around 685 knots. Not a bad way to travel. Anyway, we were with Houston center and a United flight checked in (we couldn't hear the check-in because we are UHF only, but we can hear what the controller says).

Controller: United xxx, stop climb FL 230, you'll have a flight of 3 F-15's at FL250 overtaking you on your left side.

(Some United reply we can't hear)

Controller: Buddy, you don't have enough gerbils onboard, those boys are overtaking you by more than 200 knots.

(some other reply we can't hear)

Controller: (laughing) that's what I thought...


It's almost funnier when you can't hear the whole conversation, we can make up our own sections of the conversation. :D:D
 
EvilEagle said:
Coming back to Tyndall from Kelly AFB on Saturday we had a 102 knot tail wind at FL250, we're cruising at .97 mach so we're getting a ground speed of around 685 knots. Not a bad way to travel.

Jeepers - I'm soooo jealous. I fly a Cessna 152 and now a Super Decathlon and I can't even imagine what FAST means. Course my little planes are easy to "stay ahead of"....
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Jeanie said:
Jeepers - I'm soooo jealous. I fly a Cessna 152 and now a Super Decathlon and I can't even imagine what FAST means. Course my little planes are easy to "stay ahead of"....
Click to expand...

My first plane was a 150, and was all I could handle when I was 15. We all start somewhere and I still have a lot of fun in my Glasair!

Airplanes are cool... ALL airplanes! :D
 
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