Corrupt my wish

It didn't really have to go the way of blood pressure you're the one that sent me to Dr Kevorkian you find out they do a low salt version of the chorizo breakfast burritos so you satisfy your craving AND don't affect your blood pressure. Enjoy. However your bowels still haven't forgiven you for the chili you had and so you didn't get to enjoy them for very long.

I wish I didn't have trouble corrupting these wishes!
 
Granted, you no longer have trouble corrupting wishes.

"Honey, would you do a load of whites so I have some clean t shirts for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll take on the whole skinhead gang this afternoon."

"Ma'am, would you sign this ticket please? It's a promise to appear, not an admission of guilt."

"Yeah, it's a Scorpio, pig face!"

"Mizz Celica, my mommy asked if she could borrow a cup of flower from you?"

"Tell that bag that I'll send her a cup full of flowers at her funeral!"

I wish I didn't have a million errands to run today.
 
You don't have a million errands to run. That's absurd! You have alot so you better get started and quit corrupting wishes.

I wish I understood how my wish was granted/corrupted (above)
 
Granted. You now understand that Sac had a few drinks in him and wasn't thinking properly.

I wish my car were solar powered.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. You now understand that Sac had a few drinks in him and wasn't thinking properly.

I wish my car were solar powered.
Click to expand...

A few drinks of mineral water, perhaps, a tad early for the other stuff.

But yeah, your car is solar powered. It has a solar powered heater - when the sun shines in the winter, it gets slightly warmer. When the sun shines in the summer, it gets hellishly hot. Too bad the AC is broke. It still requires gasoline to actually travel someplace. Lots of it.

I wish someone would come up with a better solution than sunscreen for sun protection while (bicycle) riding.
 
Granted.
burley-2.jpg

I wish I could make really good money working with my hands.
 
Granted. You make good money with your hands, but not quite good enough. The Feds are on to you quickly.

On a happier note, after five years of hard time, you get to do some limited work-release for the Bureau of Governmental Affairs operating a fake computer in a cubicle across from sara's.

I wish I knew how to display full size pictures in my posts like Eybykowski and others.
 
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Granted, you make really good money as a male massage therapist. Bubba was your instructor and you learned alot from his talented hands. Turns out you're a slow learner. But eventually you got your dream gig in a salon "parlor" in North Las Vegas. Enjoy.

I wish my cube neighbor would lose her voice so she would quit talking to herself.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. You make good money with your hands, but not quite good enough. The Feds are on to you quickly.

On a happier note, after five years of hard time, you get to do some limited work-release for the Bureau of Governmental Affairs operating a fake computer in a cubicle across from sara's.

I wish I knew how to display full size pictures in my posts like Eybykowski and others.
Click to expand...

Granted without corruption: The image must be online; right click and "copy image URL" then go to "insert image" (the little picture of mountains and a yellow sky in the toolbar), and paste the image URL in the box that comes up. It's that easy!
 
saracelica said:
Granted, you make really good money as a male massage therapist. Bubba was your instructor and you learned alot from his talented hands. Turns out you're a slow learner. But eventually you got your dream gig in a salon "parlor" in North Las Vegas. Enjoy.

I wish my cube neighbor would lose her voice so she would quit talking to herself.
Click to expand...

Granted; she lost her voice and she's now running frantically all over the office looking for it. She's pretty sure you took it, so she spends most of her time snooping through your stuff when you're not looking, and spying on you through a hole in the cubicle when you are looking. Oh, and per Sac's corruption, I'm now you other cube neighbor. Hope you don't mind my tuna salad sammich with extra onions, heavy metal playing in my earphones so loud you can hear it across the room, and my incessant chatting over the phone with 'Destinayyy, (I have a 9:30 appointment with her tonight; you're welcome to come).

I wish I could hook up my DC's to my computer and talk to ATC (I'd simulate another plane in the pattern) while sitting in the library.
Edit: And I would like to do this without everyone around thinking I was a complete fool.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted; she lost her voice and she's now running frantically all over the office looking for it. She's pretty sure you took it, so she spends most of her time snooping through your stuff when you're not looking, and spying on you through a hole in the cubicle when you are looking. Oh, and per Sac's corruption, I'm now you other cube neighbor. Hope you don't mind my tuna salad sammich with extra onions, heavy metal playing in my earphones so loud you can hear it across the room, and my incessant chatting over the phone with 'Destinayyy, (I have a 9:30 appointment with her tonight; you're welcome to come).

I wish I could hook up my DC's to my computer and talk to ATC (I'd simulate another plane in the pattern) while sitting in the library.
Edit: And I would like to do this without everyone around thinking I was a complete fool.
Click to expand...

There you go, your DC's hooked to a computer.

running520.jpg


I wish I could rewind lunch time. That was a good burger.
 
Granted again!!! You rewind past lunch and end up in a time warp back to this weekend; you land in Pittsburgh in front of my half eaten arterial 7500 (see my post on the last page).
"Woah, who the heck are you?!?!"
"Oh, hey ebykowsky--turns out you corrupted me back to this point in time. I'm SacArrow."
"Holy crap, no way man! You want some of this burger? I was just about to post a pic of it on POA."
"Sure thing, it looks good."
"Yeah, no problem. Hey Sac, one quick question, why do you spend so much on mineral water, wrap your burgers in lettuce, and exercise every day, but still drink loads of alcohol and eat crap like burritos and this burger I just gave you?"
"Oh, I don't actually drink; I'm a teetotaler, and I only have a burger once every year; this is it for the year. I just talk about it on POA because I actually have ADHD, and I want people to think that my excessive alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat consumption are the contributing factors so I don't lose my medical."

Sorry, cat's out of the bag now. I'll take the Arrow off your hands since you won't have any more use for it.

I wish I could take some Adderall and Ritalin. I need to focus.
 
You'll still need to fight the Other Guy for it. At least his half anyway.

Granted, you incessantly pop Adderall and Rid-X (Rid-X? Maybe if you didn't have ADHD in the first place you wouldn't have confused the two.) As a result, you become not only focused, but you have a massively clean and unclogged gastrointestinal tract. Of course, you can only focus on one thing for the next several days, which is propping yourself up on top of the toilet in the hospital room.

I wish someone would figure out how to manufacture a tortilla out of lettuce or some non-carbohydrate vegetation. Eating a burrito wrapped in actual lettuce is quite messy. (Hamburgers less so.)
 
Granted.
7631887604_e9458b056d_z.jpg

Seaweed burrito. You don't wanna know how they keep the seaweed sticking together and in a perfectly round tube shape (hint: Bubba works at the factory).

I wish I were going flying today... weather is questionable on Thursday, and that's if I can get the club CFI to go up with me on that day (gotta do a checkout).
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted.
7631887604_e9458b056d_z.jpg

Seaweed burrito. You don't wanna know how they keep the seaweed sticking together and in a perfectly round tube shape (hint: Bubba works at the factory).

I wish I were going flying today... weather is questionable on Thursday, and that's if I can get the club CFI to go up with me on that day (gotta do a checkout).
Click to expand...

"Eybykowski, you can go flying today."

"Um, thanks, who are you guys?"

"We are uh, The Powers that Be."

"You mean like, the men in black?"

"Don't denigrate us. They work for us. They are our henchmen."

"Oh, well, cool. So, well the weather sucks though, are you sure it's alright?"

"We contol the weather."

"What about the economy? Fuel prices are like six bucks a gallon!"

"We control that too."

"Oh. Well. I guess I am reassured."

"Knock yourself out. Look, we invest billions in F22 fighter jets, and F15's and F16's and all kind of crap like that and they aren't falling out of the skies, at least not at any significant rate, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"So you will be alright son."

"Okay. But, what about the FAA? They may take a dim view of me flying in known icing conditions."

"We control the FAA, and icing. Don't worry."

I wish I had a do anything I want card.
 
Sac Arrow said:
"Eybykowski, you can go flying today."

"Um, thanks, who are you guys?"

"We are uh, The Powers that Be."

"You mean like, the men in black?"

"Don't denigrate us. They work for us. They are our henchmen."

"Oh, well, cool. So, well the weather sucks though, are you sure it's alright?"

"We contol the weather."

"What about the economy? Fuel prices are like six bucks a gallon!"

"We control that too."

"Oh. Well. I guess I am reassured."

"Knock yourself out. Look, we invest billions in F22 fighter jets, and F15's and F16's and all kind of crap like that and they aren't falling out of the skies, at least not at any significant rate, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"So you will be alright son."

"Okay. But, what about the FAA? They may take a dim view of me flying in known icing conditions."

"We control the FAA, and icing. Don't worry."

I wish I had a do anything I want card.
Click to expand...

Granted, You get the "I can do anything I want card", but the "you still have to pay the consequences" card is glued permanently to the backside.

I wish the weather will stay good through Sunday (BTW Sac, you can't complain it was too cold today).
 
Granted the weather will stay good through Sunday. You're flight plan is just as big as the "bubble around your town" You know the bubble like in Stephen Kings "Under the Dome". So sure go ahead an plan the flight knowing the weather will be good through Sunday. There is no consequence to the bubble when you land you just get to live in the bubble the rest of your days.

I wish I could have my refrigerator at home restocked itself without me going to the store. It's near the first of the month and all those welfare peeps will be at Walmart.
 
saracelica said:
Granted the weather will stay good through Sunday. You're flight plan is just as big as the "bubble around your town" You know the bubble like in Stephen Kings "Under the Dome". So sure go ahead an plan the flight knowing the weather will be good through Sunday. There is no consequence to the bubble when you land you just get to live in the bubble the rest of your days.

I wish I could have my refrigerator at home restocked itself without me going to the store. It's near the first of the month and all those welfare peeps will be at Walmart.
Click to expand...

John is right. I couldn't complain yesterday about the temperature, and the same for today.

But anyway, granted, Safeway has a home delivery service just for people like you.

Rrrrrrinnng "Safeway delivery service, Honey Bear speaking."

"Yeah, this is Sara Celica, 332 Oak Street, I want to order some groceries for delivery."

"That's great ma'am, what would you like?"

"I'd like a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, three Digorno pizzas, a quart of cheap automotive oil, a box of those... um, for that... nevermind. And a box of incandescent light bulbs."

"Um, ma'am, we don't carry incandescent light bulbs anymore, soon after California outlawed them. All we have are CFL's."

"I HATE fluorescent lights. Where can I get some incandescents?"

"Walmart carries them."

"There is NO WAY I'm going to Wally World with all those... those... Welfare people there! Ewww!"

"Welfare people? I don't understand ma'am...."

"Yeah, you know, those.... trailer trash!"

"You got something against premanufactured housing communities?"

(Click.)

Your groceries did get delivered. You got a gallon of milk with expiration date of 2011, a dozen cracked eggs, three Tortinos pizzas, an opened quart of cheap automotive oil which leaked all over your pizzas. And a box of rather expensive CFL's.

I wish it wasn't supposed to rain the next two days. That means Saturday's WX will probably be marginal. For bike riding.
 
Granted it's not suppose to rain the next two days outside of "The dome" Oh crap I probably shouldn't have told you about it. Well it's out there now. So if you can just break out of the dome and find the weak spot you'll be able to go bike riding all weekend!

I wish I could have a refrigerator that could call in it's own order to refill itself and so there is no human intervention whatsoever.
 
saracelica said:
Granted it's not suppose to rain the next two days outside of "The dome" Oh crap I probably shouldn't have told you about it. Well it's out there now. So if you can just break out of the dome and find the weak spot you'll be able to go bike riding all weekend!

I wish I could have a refrigerator that could call in it's own order to refill itself and so there is no human intervention whatsoever.
Click to expand...

At the top of the hour breaking news in Ohio, where a couple is currently held hostage in their home by a smart electronic appliance which has apparently seized control.

A spokesperson for Kenmore Automation Techologies has assured authorities that the refrigerator, which has been designed to call in its own order and replenish itself when empty, has been thoroughly tested for function and safety.

"We never have experienced anything like this in testing. I mean, exactly like that anyway. It's like out of the movies, like that HAL computer in Space Odyssey or that Skynet thing in Terminator. We assure consumers that we will issue a pro rated refund should another one of our appliances become self-aware and create a hostage situation."

"So is your engineering team working on a solution in conjunction with the police?"

"Yes. Or, rather, they will once our legal team has identified a proper direction. That could take some time of course."

I wish I had a refrigerator in my office stocked with some kind of sandwich thingies but wrapped in lettuce, and some cold wine.
 
Granted, but haggis wrapped in lettuce, pretending to be a sandwich, still tastes like haggis wrapped in lettuce. You also notice that someone rolled in a small fridge (college dorm type) and alongside some old food items that had already turned black (no one said it was a new fridge) you find a bottle of cold Thunderbird.

I wish could talk myself into ordering a Stratus, already. I do want one.
 
Granted:

dodge_stratus.jpg


It's kind of homely, and mechanically it's a POS, but it is purple so you will score points with Barney the Dinosour and maybe Flygirl34Q as well. Anyway, have fun with it. Wouldn't be my first choice to replace the Spider, but to each his own.

I wish I was a pro stunna in the sportbike world.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted:

dodge_stratus.jpg


It's kind of homely, and mechanically it's a POS, but it is purple so you will score points with Barney the Dinosour and maybe Flygirl34Q as well. Anyway, have fun with it. Wouldn't be my first choice to replace the Spider, but to each his own.

I wish I was a pro stunna in the sportbike world.
Click to expand...

Granted, you're a pro stunt guy, you're just not very good at it and end up in the hospital with some serious skin missing and a few broken bones.

I wish it wasn't going to rain tomorrow and Friday. I am supposed to be getting my Spider back (of course he has been saying that for a while.
 
Granted. It is now raining giant spiders. You get you spider (car) out and go for a spin... literally. You spin out on the swarms covering the road and fly into a ditch, where the spiders cover you because you left the top down.

I wish my dorm overlooked a small airport.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. It is now raining giant spiders. You get you spider (car) out and go for a spin... literally. You spin out on the swarms covering the road and fly into a ditch, where the spiders cover you because you left the top down.

I wish my dorm overlooked a small airport.
Click to expand...

Granted, your dorm was tasked with overseeing all airports in South Carolina but it overlooked one - your home field. Oh well, statistics say your first job will be in Kansas anyway. Say hi to Dorothy for me.

I wish I wasn't watching endless rerunds of that stupid Big Bang show. (Not my choice)
 
Granted. You found a girlfriend who is in to Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives. Try watching that crap for hours on end... oh, and you're not gettin any until after at least 4 episodes. By then you're so tired and bored you just go to bed.

I wish could meet a girl who owns a plane, loves sports, and is hot.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. You found a girlfriend who is in to Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives. Try watching that crap for hours on end... oh, and you're not gettin any until after at least 4 episodes. By then you're so tired and bored you just go to bed.

I wish could meet a girl who owns a plane, loves sports, and is hot.
Click to expand...

Granted, Amelia Earhart owned a plane, loved sports, and was menopausal. Back in the day it would have been really cool, right now, not so much.

I wish I could eat the pizza I just saw on TV.
 
Granted. You realize a bit too late that the food in commercials has pins, glue, cardboard, and various other nasty chemicals in it.

I wish my teeth would brush themselves.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. You realize a bit too late that the food in commercials has pins, glue, cardboard, and various other nasty chemicals in it.

I wish my teeth would brush themselves.
Click to expand...

Granted, well sorta. You, desperately seeking money for flying, agree to join a human test of a new biological dental cleaning agent (bacteria). It works, but there ae side effects and you find yourself spending the next week on the toilet, but it did by you two hours in an Arrow.

I wish I had a vacation planed.
 
John221us said:
Granted, well sorta. You, desperately seeking money for flying, agree to join a human test of a new biological dental cleaning agent (bacteria). It works, but there ae side effects and you find yourself spending the next week on the toilet, but it did by you two hours in an Arrow.

I wish I had a vacation planed.
Click to expand...

Granted.

"Mr. 221us?"

"Yes."

"Dell's woodworking shop. That vacation package you dropped off last week? Well, it's planed now."

"Oh, cool, how much would you charged to route the edges and drill some 1/2 inch holes 12 inches on center down the middle?"

"Oh, maybe thirty bucks or so. What do you plan on doing with that vacation?"

"I was going to hang it in my garage, I can't really use it for anything else."

"Oh, sorry to hear. Have you thought about selling your vacation on consignment first? Your vacation package might not be as valuable with holes in it."

"Good point."

I wish I didn't just eat a breakfast bagel with egg and bacon. I am gluten intolerant and I am majorly feeling it already. I swear my face is swelling up.
 
Way too many typos in that last one. I guess I was tired.

Granted, the restaurant ran out of eggs, so you only had bacon and cheese on that bagel. It still had all the gluten, though. On the bright side, the swelling has smoothed out your wrinkles and everyone is complimenting you on how young you look.

I wish I had had an egg bagel with bacon. I only had eggs and a piece of wheat toast for breakfast.
 
John221us said:
Way too many typos in that last one. I guess I was tired.

Granted, the restaurant ran out of eggs, so you only had bacon and cheese on that bagel. It still had all the gluten, though. On the bright side, the swelling has smoothed out your wrinkles and everyone is complimenting you on how young you look.

I wish I had had an egg bagel with bacon. I only had eggs and a piece of wheat toast for breakfast.
Click to expand...

Granted:

"Meester John, I bring you egg bagel bacon."

"Oh, thank you Marcia. Why are you here at my work?"

"I no wanna be cleener maid anymore. I want to apply position in your company. Here my resume."

"Um, Marcia, well, I'm not real sure we have a position for you. We have a contract cleaning service and the rest of our people are all technical."

"I look on eenternet at your job posting. I have qualifications."

"Such as?"

"I can program java."

"Really...."

"Meester John, when you get expresso machine who set it up for you?"

"Yeahhh..., uh..."

"And right here, says 'maintain web sites.' I do that two times every week."

Well you deal with her. Enjoy your bagel though.

I wish I didn't outwardly resemble Kim Jong Un right now.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted:

"Meester John, I bring you egg bagel bacon."

"Oh, thank you Marcia. Why are you here at my work?"

"I no wanna be cleener maid anymore. I want to apply position in your company. Here my resume."

"Um, Marcia, well, I'm not real sure we have a position for you. We have a contract cleaning service and the rest of our people are all technical."

"I look on eenternet at your job posting. I have qualifications."

"Such as?"

"I can program java."

"Really...."

"Meester John, when you get expresso machine who set it up for you?"

"Yeahhh..., uh..."

"And right here, says 'maintain web sites.' I do that two times every week."

Well you deal with her. Enjoy your bagel though.

I wish I didn't outwardly resemble Kim Jong Un right now.
Click to expand...

Well, since you don't frequent Facebook, I will share
busahavu.jpg


Granted, you look like the guy next to him.

I wish I Marcia would mix me a Manhattan right now.
 
"Granteed, Meester John! I mix you Manhattan right away"
20min. later:

"Marcia! Where's that Manhattan I wanted?"

"I so sorry Meester John, I trying to mix Manhattan, but it dark now, so I no can find man with hat on. There was one, but he pull gun on me when I get close. Then, I go on internet, and find Man hat on is ceety in East Coast. I call, but they no answer. I do more lookeeng, and they already been mixed by Hureecane Sandy few months ago, so nothing I can do..."

"That's fine, Marcia, whatever. Just get me a Bloody Mary instead." :eek:


I wish the tach time didn't count while on the ground.
 
Granted, they installed a special Hobbs that starts recording when they remotely start it from when you walk in the door.

I wish I had a Manhattan instead of a Bloody Mary.
 
John221us said:
Granted, they installed a special Hobbs that starts recording when they remotely start it from when you walk in the door.

I wish I had a Manhattan instead of a Bloody Mary.
Click to expand...

Yeah thanks, I meant Hobbs not Tach. Do you think it would end up being cheaper by the mile or more expensive by flying to 10,000AGL, shutting down, maintaining best glide to 2,000AGL, then starting back up again and climbing back to 10K?


Anyway, Marcia gives you a Manhattan Mudboot. You are less than pleased.

I wish I could have 5 more hours to sleep tonight.
 
ebykowsky said:
Yeah thanks, I meant Hobbs not Tach. Do you think it would end up being cheaper by the mile or more expensive by flying to 10,000AGL, shutting down, maintaining best glide to 2,000AGL, then starting back up again and climbing back to 10K?


Anyway, Marcia gives you a Manhattan Mudboot. You are less than pleased.

I wish I could have 5 more hours to sleep tonight.
Click to expand...

Well you might get lucky. Some Hobbs are electric and you just have to shut off the master :yikes:

Granted, you met a psycho girl at a party tonight and she slipped you a roofie. You sleep until noon, but you wake up in a strange bed.

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.
 
Granted. You somehow find a way to fall asleep in Tomorrowland. You don't wanna know what's been done to you by the next morning.

I wish my computer weren't acting up so dagum much!
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. You somehow find a way to fall asleep in Tomorrowland. You don't wanna know what's been done to you by the next morning.

I wish my computer weren't acting up so dagum much!
Click to expand...

Too easy...
Granted, your computer is now acting down. In fact, it is so down, you will need a complete system recovery and restore. I hope you have a recent backup.

I wish there was an extra day this week. I need a little more time to get my work done (and yet, I wish I had more time off; go figure).
 
Granted. You "get off" an extra day this 8 day week. Um. But Marcia charges you double your salary for the day that you "get off" in the house. Talk about getting work done! So ultimately, you have to work an extra day just to pay Marcia back for cleaning everything up.

I wish I weren't too tired to wish.
 
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