Corrupt my wish

I prefer the corruption that ended in me actually getting playing time for once... an I'm a keeper so a full 90 minute game of soccer isn't bad...

Granted. You now speak Arab and can read what he wrote. But you now only speak Arab... no more flying for you--GA or commercial.

I wish teachers would coordinate tests so they didn't fall too close to each other.
 
ebykowsky said:
I prefer the corruption that ended in me actually getting playing time for once... an I'm a keeper so a full 90 minute game of soccer isn't bad...

Granted. You now speak Arab and can read what he wrote. But you now only speak Arab... no more flying for you--GA or commercial.

I wish teachers would coordinate tests so they didn't fall too close to each other.
Click to expand...

Granted, but they coordinate based on the schedules of 1st string football players only. This really doesn't help you at all.

I wish I didn't have to work when I get home.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but they coordinate based on the schedules of 1st string football players only. This really doesn't help you at all.

I wish I didn't have to work when I get home.
Click to expand...

Granted.

"Meester John, Jennifer Anniston cancel for her gigalo appointment. You no have to work tonight."

"Oh, jeez, Marcia, actually I was kind of looking forward to working tonight."

"Oh can you service Marcia seester then? She no with man in ten years."

"Um, okay, yeah sure."

"She no have a lot of money you not charge her much right?"

"This will be a freebie."

I guess you ended up working tonight after all. For free. Enjoy servicing Marcia's older sister, all 400 lbs of her. I mean 57 is still young, right?

Oh by the way she wants you to take her to Morton's steak house for dinner. And she treats it like an all you can eat buffet. Amazing how expensive those puny $35 filets can be when you eat a dozen of them.

I wish I could afford to eat lunch at Morton's every day.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted.

"Meester John, Jennifer Anniston cancel for her gigalo appointment. You no have to work tonight."

"Oh, jeez, Marcia, actually I was kind of looking forward to working tonight."

"Oh can you service Marcia seester then? She no with man in ten years."

"Um, okay, yeah sure."

"She no have a lot of money you not charge her much right?"

"This will be a freebie."

I guess you ended up working tonight after all. For free. Enjoy servicing Marcia's older sister, all 400 lbs of her. I mean 57 is still young, right?

Oh by the way she wants you to take her to Morton's steak house for dinner. And she treats it like an all you can eat buffet. Amazing how expensive those puny $35 filets can be when you eat a dozen of them.

I wish I could afford to eat lunch at Morton's every day.
Click to expand...

Granted, turns out salt is pretty cheap, so you can afford to eat at the Morton's salt factory every day. It doesn't take long for you to develop extremely high blood pressure, though. It looks like you will need an SI next medical.

I wish my body knew that it wasn't dinner time, yet. Is that jet lag?
 
John221us said:
Granted, turns out salt is pretty cheap, so you can afford to eat at the Morton's salt factory every day. It doesn't take long for you to develop extremely high blood pressure, though. It looks like you will need an SI next medical.

I wish my body knew that it wasn't dinner time, yet. Is that jet lag?
Click to expand...

John: "What do all these knobs and levers and buttons do?"

Sully: "Various functions such as programming the FMS, setting the autopilot, controlling the engines, etc.... the manual all describes it. It's about 1,000 pages. You should read it before the next time you pick the FO's seat for your overseas trip."

John: "Coolio. Say, is it dinnertime yet? It would be nice of one of those flight attendents could bring me one of those lobster bisques from first class!"

Sully: "No."

John: "My body thinks it's dinnertime, is that jet lag?"

Sully: "No. See these two big levers on the console between us?"

John: "Yeah."

Sully: "Push them forward. We are cleared for takeoff."

John: "Okay I'm pushing them forward, why are the engines revving up so slowly?"

Sully: "That's jet lag."

I wish I got to play around in the cockpit on trans-pacific flights.
 
Sac Arrow said:
John: "Okay I'm pushing them forward, why are the engines revving up so slowly?"

Sully: "That's jet lag."
Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sorry not feeling the corruption right now... just had to ROFL that one.
 
Well done Sac. Little early for drinking thought (6pm)

Granted you get to play around in the cockpit on a trans atlantic flight. Unfortunately their was an air marshall on the flight as well, what do you expect it was a flight into Iraq. They find out you "played around" with the flight staff in the cockpit and indecent exposure is very wrong. You get put into the lavatory for the rest of the flight where you can play around to your hearts content.

I wish I could just teleport to my parents house instead of having to drive 4.5 hours across the Ohio Turnpike!
 
saracelica said:
Well done Sac. Little early for drinking thought (6pm)

Granted you get to play around in the cockpit on a trans atlantic flight. Unfortunately their was an air marshall on the flight as well, what do you expect it was a flight into Iraq. They find out you "played around" with the flight staff in the cockpit and indecent exposure is very wrong. You get put into the lavatory for the rest of the flight where you can play around to your hearts content.

I wish I could just teleport to my parents house instead of having to drive 4.5 hours across the Ohio Turnpike!
Click to expand...

Heck, that's why you have your ticket. You should fly.

Granted, but the teleportation machine was just invented and it relies on quantum mechanics, which at times can be somewhat random. You volunteer to be the first human "passenger", since you really don't want to make that drive. While most of you ends up at your parents house, your legs end up in Oakland, CA (outside Sac's door) and your tongue just drops to the floor (literally). Back to the drawing board.

I wish I had today off, so I could get some flying in before the rain hits this weekend.
 
Bang! bang! bang!

"Who is it?"

"Is this the john221us residence?"

"Yeah."

"Mike Todayoff. I know my wife is in there. Open the door!"

You definitely get your flying in today in a big hurry, before the rain hits. And for that matter before the baseball bat hits as well. You will be across three States before Sunday.

I wish the rain would hold off until mid afternoon tomorrow. I need to get in a good bike ride this weekend.
 
The rain does hold off until mid afternoon, unfortunately since it's global warming season still your favorite lake has dried up and hundred of animals die of dehydration...they did the rain dance to promote the rain but your wish trumps it, have a nice bike ride in the scorching heat.

I wish my thumb didn't hurt so much. I think I over texted it. :)

BTW, I couldn't afford to fly the plane home for the weekend....$400 to fly for 4.2 hours or $40 and 8 hours by car. I'll be jobless soon. Every penny goes to my IR!
 
Granted, you thumb feels fine. So you're driving down the freeway (tollway? What do you call those things out there?) Okay highway, and since you obviously hadn't overtexted your thumb, you pull your cellular telephone out of your purse and proceed to compose a novel. Actually it's not really a novel, just a short strings of semi gibberish totaling the length of a short novel. Oh oh, the flashing blue lights. Better pull over.

"Lady, were you texting the last fifteen minutes?"

"No officer, I was emailing."

"Oh, well, whatever, do you know how long we've been following you with our lights flashing?"

"I dunno, not long I would think."

"Fifteen minutes. Didn't you even notice that hog in the road?" (Your car now has a snout sticking out of its radiator.)

I wish I would have left the sushi alone and gone for the sashimi instead for lunch.
 
Ok, I had to look that up, since I pretty much just eat meat that is cooked (except for Ahi, which is still seared).

Granted, but without the rice, you needed four times as much to fill up and you end up with mercury poisoning (just like Jeremy Piven). You spend the next three days in the hospital.

I wish this Internet cutover was done (at my office). I am hungry.
 
John221us said:
Ok, I had to look that up, since I pretty much just eat meat that is cooked (except for Ahi, which is still seared).

Granted, but without the rice, you needed four times as much to fill up and you end up with mercury poisoning (just like Jeremy Piven). You spend the next three days in the hospital.

I wish this Internet cutover was done (at my office). I am hungry.
Click to expand...

Granted, it's finally done, 36 hours later, and you haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Housekeeper Marcia baked this elaborate wedding cake for one of her sisters and you proceed to devour the whole thing. As a result, the family duct tapes you, abducts you and proceeds to use you as the piñata at the wedding ceremony. Aye carumba.

I wish that stupid b%}>~*{€|~ in the Camry didn't force me in to the gutter on my bike, therefore causing me to get something in the tire to make it go flat. I guess I'm going on a bike shop run to get more spare tubes.
 
Granted, but while you were in the gutter, you found your mind and pulled it out of the gutter. Now, since that b%}>~*{€|~ in the Camry never put you in the gutter, you'll be doomed for the rest of eternity to giggle whenever someone's name is "Dick", and you're furthermore resigned to posting corruptions about Bubba and various crackhoes for the rest of your life.
By the way, if you happened to find my mind while you were there, please PM me.

I wish each successive burger I made for myself didn't get bigger and less healthy. Tonight's I call the "Arterial *7500*".
(2) 1/4lb patties
(2) eggs
(2) pieces of cheese
(2) buns
(2) wedges of laughing cow creamy spreadable cheese
(4) pieces of (turkey) bacon
(2) leaves of lettuce (so it's a bit healthy at least)
(2) tbsp. vegetable oil for cooking
--I forgot the fried pepperoni on this one.
181009_330960743692724_1182427567_n.jpg
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, it's finally done, 36 hours later, and you haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Housekeeper Marcia baked this elaborate wedding cake for one of her sisters and you proceed to devour the whole thing. As a result, the family duct tapes you, abducts you and proceeds to use you as the piñata at the wedding ceremony. Aye carumba.

I wish that stupid b%}>~*{€|~ in the Camry didn't force me in to the gutter on my bike, therefore causing me to get something in the tire to make it go flat. I guess I'm going on a bike shop run to get more spare tubes.
Click to expand...

Granted, the idiot in the Camry forced you into the curb, instead, and you did a superman into an old lady with a shopping cart, who happened to be walking on the sidewalk next to you. Not only is your rim tweaked, you find yourself giving CPR and mouth to mouth to the lady you bowled over, while your right leg is bleeding and missing big patches of skin.

I wish I had had more time to fly today. I only got a short flight over to Grass Valley and back.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted, but while you were in the gutter, you found your mind and pulled it out of the gutter. Now, since that b%}>~*{€|~ in the Camry never put you in the gutter, you'll be doomed for the rest of eternity to giggle whenever someone's name is "Dick", and you're furthermore resigned to posting corruptions about Bubba and various crackhoes for the rest of your life.
By the way, if you happened to find my mind while you were there, please PM me.

I wish each successive burger I made for myself didn't get bigger and less healthy. Tonight's I call the "Arterial *7500*".
(2) 1/4lb patties
(2) eggs
(2) pieces of cheese
(2) buns
(2) wedges of laughing cow creamy spreadable cheese
(4) pieces of (turkey) bacon
(2) leaves of lettuce (so it's a bit healthy at least)
(2) tbsp. vegetable oil for cooking
--I forgot the fried pepperoni on this one.
Click to expand...

Wow! I haven't eaten like that since I was your age.

Granted, you didn't set the bar very high. Your next burger has the pepperoni, but you leave off the Laughing Cow wedges for a slightly healthier burger (a little less fat and a little more protein).

My wish still stands.
 
Granted; you flew over to Grass Valley for a quick bite and bathroom break, but you really wanted to fly down to LAX for the day. "Oh no! The weather is closing in!!!" "Guess I won't risk it today," you say to yourself. So, you hop in your car and drive home... no more flying today! Around bedtime, you start getting undressed, undo your button, undo your---"wait, my fly has been down since KGOO!" Looks like you got to "fly down" all day!

I wish I had an iPad or some kind of tablet device with foreflight and ADS-B with TAWS and TACAS.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted; you flew over to Grass Valley for a quick bite and bathroom break, but you really wanted to fly down to LAX for the day. "Oh no! The weather is closing in!!!" "Guess I won't risk it today," you say to yourself. So, you hop in your car and drive home... no more flying today! Around bedtime, you start getting undressed, undo your button, undo your---"wait, my fly has been down since KGOO!" Looks like you got to "fly down" all day!

I wish I had an iPad or some kind of tablet device with foreflight and ADS-B with TAWS and TACAS.
Click to expand...

Granted. Mr kowski, you gender change operation, is complete. But you need to use an iPad every 30 days or so. And take some ADS -B supplements to keep your joints strong and take one TAWS and one TACAS to keep your blood pressure down. Be sure to report all medical visits and medication usage to the FAA.
 
I wish you'd wished with that last post---wow, I don't think you've ever forgotten to do that before!
 
Two bottles of wine will do that to you.

I wish it didn't start thunderstorming at 1:00 am. I couldn't sleep last night.
 
Granted it wasn't thunderstorming. It was the North Korea assault weapons hitting your yard. Next time you get woken up in the morning you may want to investigate a little bit to see what it was - geez.

I wish I had something to do today. Replying to random posts just to make myself sound good typing isn't at all productive. I really should've brought my book to work today.
 
saracelica said:
Granted it wasn't thunderstorming. It was the North Korea assault weapons hitting your yard. Next time you get woken up in the morning you may want to investigate a little bit to see what it was - geez.

I wish I had something to do today. Replying to random posts just to make myself sound good typing isn't at all productive. I really should've brought my book to work today.
Click to expand...

Granted, you spend the rest of the day searching the Internet for a good keyboard soundtrack that you can loop on your computer and will make you sound like your busy without having to type. Ironically, this, too, makes you appear busy and, yet, is essentially non-productive.

I wish had slept another hour this morning. I am still waking up early, for some reason,
 
John221us said:
Granted, you spend the rest of the day searching the Internet for a good keyboard soundtrack that you can loop on your computer and will make you sound like your busy without having to type. Ironically, this, too, makes you appear busy and, yet, is essentially non-productive.

I wish had slept another hour this morning. I am still waking up early, for some reason,
Click to expand...

Granted, but now you are labeled as a slacker at the office for showing up late, so you spend the rest of the day searching the Internet for a good keyboard soundtrack that you can loop through your computer that will make you sound like you're busy without having to type. Ironically, this is a skill that you learned from some of your most productive employees (hate to see what the least productive are doing.)

I wish I didn't get woken up again by another round of thunderstorms. I'm really feeling beat these days.
 
Granted you start sleeping through loud booming sounds. Unfortunately you just bought a brand new alarm clock that John was using to help you get up in the morning...but you never heard it due to the granting of the wish. You show up late and scurry to find the keyboard soundtrack to use for yourself. You also find you can outsource your own job so you go ahead and do that, soon Abib is writing your reports and you have more time for drinking!

I wish I had a project to work on. I found the end of the internet. (www.endoftheinternet.com)
 
saracelica said:
Granted you start sleeping through loud booming sounds. Unfortunately you just bought a brand new alarm clock that John was using to help you get up in the morning...but you never heard it due to the granting of the wish. You show up late and scurry to find the keyboard soundtrack to use for yourself. You also find you can outsource your own job so you go ahead and do that, soon Abib is writing your reports and you have more time for drinking!

I wish I had a project to work on. I found the end of the internet. (www.endoftheinternet.com)
Click to expand...

Men in black: "Um, ma'am, we would like to have a word with you."

sara: "Not now, I have a project to work on."

Men in black: "We're going to have to put you on double secret probation."

sara: "Why?"

Men in black: "You reportedly found the end of the Internet."

sara: "Yes, I did."

Men in black: "The end of the internet is a deep, dark, government secret. You aren't supposed to know about it."

sara: "Which part of the Government controls the Internet?"

Men in black: "Well, technically control shifts between China and Russia but austensibly, the Bureau of Internet Affairs.

So you end behind a fake computer making typing sounds for some obscure Federal agency while someone else at your real work takes over your interesting project, without you. Should have kept your mouth shut about the end of the Internet.

I wish I was in control of the Internet. My first action would be to delete Facebook.
 
Granted, you gain enough control to delete Facebook. Not only does this wipe out their market cap of 60B dollars (****ing off a lot of investors), millions and millions of people, all of a sudden, don't have anything to make themselves look busy at work. In a desperate attempt to find social interaction on the Internet, millions of these lost souls join PoA and overwhelm Jesse's server. Good thing Sara found that keyboard soundtrack in time, or she would be in the same desperate straights.

I wish I had time to get outside today.
 
Granted, you have maybe 30 seconds before midnight to get outside today. Then, you need to go right back to work.

I wish this lousy weather would go away.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you have maybe 30 seconds before midnight to get outside today. Then, you need to go right back to work.

I wish this lousy weather would go away.
Click to expand...

Granted, it turns into a beautiful CAVU day, and as you're on the way to the plane you get called into work for 12 hours of mandatory overtime.

I wish KAPA would give me runway 10 for departure more often.
 
Jayhawk said:
Granted, it turns into a beautiful CAVU day, and as you're on the way to the plane you get called into work for 12 hours of mandatory overtime.

I wish KAPA would give me runway 10 for departure more often.
Click to expand...

Granted.

"Centennial ground, this is Skycatcher November triple five tango delta, ready to taxi with Charlie."

"Skycatcher November triple five tango delta, taxi to Runway ten."

"Bu bu butttt.... Winds are two eight zero at 20 kts!"

"Do want runway ten for departure or not!"

"Not right now!"

"Well that's all you're GETTING!" Now GET TO IT!"

I wish I could play tower and F with people.
 
Jayhawk said:
Granted, it turns into a beautiful CAVU day, and as you're on the way to the plane you get called into work for 12 hours of mandatory overtime.

I wish KAPA would give me runway 10 for departure more often.
Click to expand...

Granted, they give you runway 10 every time now. Too bad you have a 20 knot tailwind. I hope you have some extra power up front.

I wish I my new Internet circuit at work wasn't getting our email blocked to various sites.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted.

"Centennial ground, this is Skycatcher November triple five tango delta, ready to taxi with Charlie."

"Skycatcher November triple five tango delta, taxi to Runway ten."

"Bu bu butttt.... Winds are two eight zero at 20 kts!"

"Do want runway ten for departure or not!"

"Not right now!"

"Well that's all you're GETTING!" Now GET TO IT!"

I wish I could play tower and F with people.
Click to expand...


:lol:

Granted. The tower controller at Sun 'n Fun has the fish for dinner, falls deathly ill, and since due to a freak coincidence every other controller has decided to check out the lovely sights of Kansas instead of the airshow this year, you're volunteered to take over his position as a thunderstorm moves over the field.

I wish runway 10 had about 3,000 extra feet to help with the 20 kt tailwind takeoffs this guy keeps assigning me "for sequencing reasons"
 
Last edited:
Jayhawk said:
:lol:

Granted. The tower controller at Sun 'n Fun has the fish for dinner, falls deathly ill, and since due to a freak coincidence every other controller has decided to check out the lovely sights of Kansas instead of the airshow this year, you're volunteered to take over his position as a thunderstorm moves over the field.

I wish runway 10 had about 3,000 extra feet to help with the 20 kt tailwind takeoffs this guy keeps assigning me "for sequencing reasons"
Click to expand...

Granted, but the extra 3000 feet are still under construction and the funds are getting sequestered so you can't use it anytime in the foreseeable future anyway.

I wish I had time to go back and read all the other 54 pages of this thread.
 
LifeInverted said:
Granted, but the extra 3000 feet are still under construction and the funds are getting sequestered so you can't use it anytime in the foreseeable future anyway.

I wish I had time to go back and read all the other 54 pages of this thread.
Click to expand...

Granted, but you ate the fish too. So you are layed up in the hospital reading it.
I wish I had tabbed out before this last shot of Jameson.
 
Granted, but not before you generously offered to "buy one for the house". There goes your next paycheck. Fortunately, you won't remember most of it by tomorrow.

I wish I had a shot of Jameson nearby.
 
John221us said:
I wish I had a shot of Jameson nearby.
Click to expand...

Bubba is out on bail so you get a shot of Jameson after your most recent PI arrest. Jameson is somewhat "larger" than Bubba so you've got a few stitches...

I wish next week didn't include both east Texas, west Texas, and Utah in the schedule.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but not before you generously offered to "buy one for the house". There goes your next paycheck. Fortunately, you won't remember most of it by tomorrow.

I wish I had a shot of Jameson nearby.
Click to expand...

Granted, the glass is on your desk. But looking outside, it's also the perfect evening for some night touch and goes...

I wish I didn't have to wait another 4 hours for a shot of Jameson. Late night shifts- :nonod:
 
Clark1961 said:
Bubba is out on bail so you get a shot of Jameson after your most recent PI arrest. Jameson is somewhat "larger" than Bubba so you've got a few stitches...

I wish next week didn't include both east Texas, west Texas, and Utah in the schedule.
Click to expand...

Oops, missed one. Granted, you're now scheduled for Minnesota, Florida, and Guam.
 
Jayhawk said:
Granted, the glass is on your desk. But looking outside, it's also the perfect evening for some night touch and goes...

I wish I didn't have to wait another 4 hours for a shot of Jameson. Late night shifts- :nonod:
Click to expand...

Granted, you have your Jameson like right now. But, now, the FAA's eyes are all over you, thinking you are me.

I wish there was some more of that chili. I'm still hungry.
 
There is more of the chili! But Bubba was making it and he added his "special sauce" to the mix. Fortunately you're use to his taste by now; you find it's quite salty and you make a note to have him change his diet going forward. A few hours go by and you get violently sick and you go to the Emergency room. They don't bother with the charcoal anymore they just wanted to be able to laugh at you for eating that chili.

I wish my blood pressure could be at acceptable limits for my doctor (what is 125/90 high? Geez)
 
saracelica said:
There is more of the chili! But Bubba was making it and he added his "special sauce" to the mix. Fortunately you're use to his taste by now; you find it's quite salty and you make a note to have him change his diet going forward. A few hours go by and you get violently sick and you go to the Emergency room. They don't bother with the charcoal anymore they just wanted to be able to laugh at you for eating that chili.

I wish my blood pressure could be at acceptable limits for my doctor (what is 125/90 high? Geez)
Click to expand...

Granted, your new doc, Dr. Kevorkian, prescribes you salt pills and puts you on a high fat diet in order to raise your blood pressure to 220/105, which is his acceptable lower limit. Your AME is less than thrilled, however.

I wish this corruption didn't go the way of blood pressure. I was craving a couple of chorizo breakfast burritos earlier, now not so much.
 
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