Corrupt my wish

Granted, you can find him on chocolate drop dot com. (No, I can't post the link - if you type the whole thing in a browser and open it up you will see why.) Have fun.

It would be a long dogleg, but you could go down the Suisun Bay and turn left at the Eastern Oakland slopes, and make your way down to San Jose using B and C transitions, all under 3,000 feet. I'm assuming you want to go to Reid Hillview.
 
Is there a corridor, or do you just hug the hills? I have flown into Oakland a few times.

You forgot your wish.
 
No corridor, you hug the hills more or less. You will probably have to go East of Oakland airport but you could probably fly between the two inner rings of OAK and SFO if they let you.

But you can also just go down past Byron and cross there (look at the SUNOL intersection.) That itself can be done at about 3,000 feet, comfortably, if the clouds aren't too low. Probably as low as 2,000 feet, uncomfortably. That's my preferred route coming from that direction.

I wish I could drink expresso drinks in the afternoon.
 
Good info.
Granted, you walk up to the counter at Starbucks and order a Venti, decaf, sugarfree, vanilla latte. The hot redhead behind you just shakes her head, but the dark haired guy behind her starts flirting with you.

I wish I had my IR.
 
John221us said:
Good info.
Granted, you walk up to the counter at Starbucks and order a Venti, decaf, sugarfree, vanilla latte. The hot redhead behind you just shakes her head, but the dark haired guy behind her starts flirting with you.

I wish I had my IR.
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Granted, you will.

Watch your weather dude, TAF's are reporting 1,500 overcast in the Bay. You can't even scud run that through the Bay route.

I wish I had a nice juicy Prime Rib setting in front of me.
 
Yes, it seems to be changing rapidly.

Granted, you have a nice hunk of prime rib in front of you. Unfortunately it got left in the oven too long and eats like a piece of leather. The juice is just some broth they threw on top to make it look better.

I wish you really could change the world with platitudes.
 
John221us said:
Yes, it seems to be changing rapidly.

Granted, you have a nice hunk of prime rib in front of you. Unfortunately it got left in the oven too long and eats like a piece of leather. The juice is just some broth they threw on top to make it look better.

I wish you really could change the world with platitudes.
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Granted. But the platitude of choice is "I'd like to teach the world to sing" and only about 5% of the world's population have a singing voice that doesn't cause your ears to bleed.

I wish I were at the beach. (did I already wish that one?)
 
woodstock said:
Granted. But the platitude of choice is "I'd like to teach the world to sing" and only about 5% of the world's population have a singing voice that doesn't cause your ears to bleed.

I wish I were at the beach. (did I already wish that one?)
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Granted, but it's Pensacola Beach in August at 2 in the afternoon and you have no flip flops or sandals!

I wish I could take a vacation in the mountains!
 
Frank Browne said:
Granted, but it's Pensacola Beach in August at 2 in the afternoon and you have no flip flops or sandals!

I wish I could take a vacation in the mountains!
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Granted. But, because of some intriguing documentary you saw on cable TV, you decided not to, even though you could. Instead, you opt for the Sahara desert. About two weeks in to this said Vacation, you are awakened in your tent by a camel licking your face, and now the reality is setting in.

a) I really wanted to go to the mountains, but instead I'm in the middle of an oversized ******n kitty litter box.

b) I really hate this f***ing heat.

c) I can't find a bar or a liquor store ANYPLACE.

d) The only thing to barbeque is a damned camel.

As a result, you hallucinate and go nutso. Your shady little tour guide duct tapes you to a llama, hauls you across the border, and sells you to the Taliban for a couple goats so they can feature you in one of their motivational videos.

Get rid of cable.

I wish that, if I ate breakfast right now, I wouldn't be hungry by lunch and uber-starved by mid afternoon. I can't have both breakfast and lunch. (I wish I could but that's not the active wish. I might wish for that later.)
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But, because of some intriguing documentary you saw on cable TV, you decided not to, even though you could. Instead, you opt for the Sahara desert. About two weeks in to this said Vacation, you are awakened in your tent by a camel licking your face, and now the reality is setting in.

a) I really wanted to go to the mountains, but instead I'm in the middle of an oversized ******n kitty litter box.

b) I really hate this f***ing heat.

c) I can't find a bar or a liquor store ANYPLACE.

d) The only thing to barbeque is a damned camel.

As a result, you hallucinate and go nutso. Your shady little tour guide duct tapes you to a llama, hauls you across the border, and sells you to the Taliban for a couple goats so they can feature you in one of their motivational videos.

Get rid of cable.

I wish that, if I ate breakfast right now, I wouldn't be hungry by lunch and uber-starved by mid afternoon. I can't have both breakfast and lunch. (I wish I could but that's not the active wish. I might wish for that later.)
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Granted. Except that for this to work, you have to eat like a field hand before you leave for work in the AM and the cooking and cleanup takes so long you never make it to work on time, miss an important meeting, and get fired.

I wish I didn't have a big box of chocolates sitting on my desk staring at me. It's from Switzerland (coworker just got back) and it taunts me. Must. resist.
 
woodstock said:
Granted. Except that for this to work, you have to eat like a field hand before you leave for work in the AM and the cooking and cleanup takes so long you never make it to work on time, miss an important meeting, and get fired.

I wish I didn't have a big box of chocolates sitting on my desk staring at me. It's from Switzerland (coworker just got back) and it taunts me. Must. resist.
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Okay, let me guess. You have an office pool for weight loss, and you have periodic weigh ins. (or weighs in, or however you pluralize it) and the top three weight loss leaders split the pot. It's an attempt at sabotage. I know it, because one of my friends has exactly that going on at his office and I suggested he give a box of See's candy to all his coworkers that were participating in the pool. However, running the numbers, it ended up being a negative return on investment so he opted not to.

Granted, you don't have a big box of chocolates sitting on your desk staring at you. Actually, they are completely ignoring you. THAT even drives you more crazy, because you like an audience. You like to TAAAALLLLLK. You like to SHaaaaare your Feeeeeeeelings, and that box of chocolates, with it's snotty Swiss attitude, just blows you off.

But you try a social experiment. You put them in the break room, and see what happen. Your theory, is that they may get treated like donuts. Sure enough, the first person sees those little chocolates, gets a knife from the counter, and cuts it in half! But, liquid cherry juice pours out and it makes a huge mess! Fail!! In a fit of rage, your co-worker goes beserk, and disables the entire building by short circuiting the power feed at the main breaker. Production comes to a halt, and when the smoke clears, you have no job anymore.

I wish I would have rode the motorcycle in to work today. Traffic is starting to get a tad horrendous.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Okay, let me guess. You have an office pool for weight loss, and you have periodic weigh ins. (or weighs in, or however you pluralize it) and the top three weight loss leaders split the pot. It's an attempt at sabotage. I know it, because one of my friends has exactly that going on at his office and I suggested he give a box of See's candy to all his coworkers that were participating in the pool. However, running the numbers, it ended up being a negative return on investment so he opted not to.

Granted, you don't have a big box of chocolates sitting on your desk staring at you. Actually, they are completely ignoring you. THAT even drives you more crazy, because you like an audience. You like to TAAAALLLLLK. You like to SHaaaaare your Feeeeeeeelings, and that box of chocolates, with it's snotty Swiss attitude, just blows you off.

But you try a social experiment. You put them in the break room, and see what happen. Your theory, is that they may get treated like donuts. Sure enough, the first person sees those little chocolates, gets a knife from the counter, and cuts it in half! But, liquid cherry juice pours out and it makes a huge mess! Fail!! In a fit of rage, your co-worker goes beserk, and disables the entire building by short circuiting the power feed at the main breaker. Production comes to a halt, and when the smoke clears, you have no job anymore.

I wish I would have rode the motorcycle in to work today. Traffic is starting to get a tad horrendous.
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Actually, we don't, I'm just under a lot of stress the past few weeks with my kitty cat and haven't been eating very well - and chocolate isn't moving in the right direction. If we did have an office pool, I'd win.

Granted, you did ride into work this morning, but while it might not rain in southern California it rains a lot in northern California and your new suede shoes are completely ruined.

I wish this document would write itself.
 
Granted, the document writes itself. Unfortunately, the document never went to school, so it is completely illegible giberish and you end up getting fired for poor work.

I wish I could play hookie and go flying this afternoon (I seriously might). It is a beautiful day in NorCal.
 
I'm assuming you di-int fly to San Jose yesterday. Conditions were certainly below VOR approach minimums at RHV, and possibly ILS minimums at Mineta. I couldn't have gotten in there either.

Granted, you play hooky and fly the plane this afternoon. But, your buddy Sac decides to play a joke on you. He sends a text message to Tamara Berg, your local Channel 3 weather lady, and she decides to rearrange the weather patterns so you have a row of cumulus surrounding Lincoln. You head West toward an open spot. She tracks you on radar, and puts the pin on the Voodoo weather map and closes it back up. Little did you know, that underneath that fair white skin, blonde hair and general volumptuality (is that a word? It is now) she is actually a Santaria priestess, and loves messing with people by changing the weather on them.

I wish Tamara were Channel 7's weather lady here in the Bay Area, and she went to MY gym.
 
No, I didn't get to fly and I didn't make it back home until about 10:00 last night.

Granted, Tamara Berg shows up at your gym. Unfortunately, there is a dude on each treadmill next to you and she ends up directly behind you. When you try to demonstrate your ability to run backwards, you are flung back against the treadmill controls and slip, humiliated, to the floor. Well, that was awkward.

I wish I had know there was someone who could control the weather. Maybe she could have cleared out that storm yesterday.
 
Granted, but it happens to be Bill Ayers, former leader of the Weather Underground (radical terrorist organization in the 1970's). Department of Homeland Security investigates your link with this former terrorist organization, and decides to detain you and ship you to Guantanamo Bay under the current domestic terrorism laws. Your cellmate is Saddam El Bubbaque, who interprets the Islamic rule against man-man relationships to exclude non-believers. And you happen to be his only outlet.

I wish I didn't ruin my suede shoes this morning.
 
Granted, you didn't ruin the suede shoes. It'll buff right out just like the airplane (http://www.pilotsofamerica.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55758) sorry I don't know how to link all fancy. Your shoes are fine. Your socks on the other hand were wet for too long and your feet got gangreen and you didn't notice (too worried about your shoes) so you had to have them amputated. Good luck flying with out feet.

I wish I didn't have this nasty cough (scaring my co-workers; they think I should go home...yeah going to use vacation time to cough at home...no)
 
Granted. I mean you still have the nasty cough, it's just not scaring your coworkers anymore. You know why?

Zombies. You didn't realize it but a couple days ago your coworkers had an after office party (and they didn't invite you, how rude of them.) They went low budget on the cake, and the male stripper that came out of it was a zombie. In a drunken session of carousing, he managed to bite all of them and now they are infected.

I'm not exactly sure what you do for zombies. Maybe fire or something. I think it's fire. They don't like light, I know that. By the way that's why the office is so dark. And they're getting hungry, by the way.

I wish we like Google and had personal chefs available to cook our lunches. I mean I don't know that they do that but I'll bet they do.
 
Granted, you have personal chef. He was just released from Folsom, though and goes by the name of Bubba. His specialty is bugers and he personally delivers them to your office and expects a tip.

I wish I had good place to eat in walking distance. I don't feel like driving to lunch.
 
Granted. But your personal chef worked his way up from janitor at McDonald's and is now chief fry cook.

I wish this conference call were over.
 
woodstock said:
Granted. But your personal chef worked his way up from janitor at McDonald's and is now chief fry cook.

I wish this conference call were over.
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Granted. But the CEO of your company just happened to be walking by when he heard you violate no less than two (2) company policies: 1 - Making an unauthorized wish to cut short a vital means of multi-party communications, and 2) botching the grammar in doing so.

You have been reassigned from report writing duties (yay!) to the janitorial sciences (nay!). Pick up your uniform from supply. Senorita Woodstock limpiador de banos.

I wish I would have tried those shrimp tacos at the Mexican place a lot sooner than I did. They are like, totally, hella good!
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But the CEO of your company just happened to be walking by when he heard you violate no less than two (2) company policies: 1 - Making an unauthorized wish to cut short a vital means of multi-party communications, and 2) botching the grammar in doing so.

You have been reassigned from report writing duties (yay!) to the janitorial sciences (nay!). Pick up your uniform from supply. Senorita Woodstock limpiador de banos.

I wish I would have tried those shrimp tacos at the Mexican place a lot sooner than I did. They are like, totally, hella good!
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Granted. But the day you did try them, years ago, they were five days old, and you got so sick you vowed never to try them again and thus missed out on the best food you've ever had in your life.

I wish you understood the subjunctive tense. :wink2:
 
Granted. I just looked it up. Holy s**. No wonder other cultures think our language is so f***d up. Now I'm just going to lay it on my employees and go subjunctive on they ass. The employee collective were really bent out of shape over the whole thing and aksed me where I were to get this and I tole them. They track you down to.... I'm not sure where but they did, and they.... I'm not sure what they did but it couldn't be good.

I wish I were able to corrupt this wish better.
 
Granted, but it was only slightly better and by and large still sounded like getto gibberish. Your employees now go out of thier way to avoid your office.

I wish I had a three day weekend this weekend.
 
Granted. But you "had" the 3 day weekend in the biblical sense, which is another way of saying your 3 day weekend was totally f***d. And worse, the FAA reads your postings, and wonders why you are having relations with benign calendar events. This triggers a psychological evaluation and opens up a whole new can of worms. Thinking they are spaghetti, you eat them and get sick, having to go to the clinic to get your stomach pumped. Except that all the hospitals and clinics are closed due to the flu epidemic so the best they can do is send you on a medical transport to the Vacaville Correctional Medical Facility.

I don't even need to tell you who your internist assistance is. They have him on an early work release program from Folsom. Bubba missed you.

I wish my employees DID avoid the office. Well not all of them, just the stupid ones and aholes. The productive ones can stay. Yeah, those ones should probably stay.
 
Granted, your employees do avoid your office. However, now they just get together and guess at what the correct answer is to the question. They hand in a report that is mostly gibberish. You fire them for work ethic. You however now get sued by the ACLU or whatever letter combination of government for not allowing access to your employees to you. Hope you have a couple extra million lying around.

I wish it was the weekend already.
 
It is. In Beijing. Just another sign that your company is going to move you there. How are those Mandarin lessons going?

I wish cold weather bike gear was cheaper that is.
 
Cold weather bike gear is really cheap, in July. Why'd you wait so long to get any of it. Sure it's last years style but it's still quality. live and learn.

I wish I didn't have to learn Mandarin.
 
Granted, your company changed their minds and they are going to move to the Northern part of China, somewhere in the open frozen territory where Cantonese is predominantly spoken.

I wish I had a runway in my backyard. Well, maybe not my backyard but maybe widen one of the nearby streets and block it off to vehicular traffic. That would be fine.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, your company changed their minds and they are going to move to the Northern part of China, somewhere in the open frozen territory where Cantonese is predominantly spoken.

I wish I had a runway in my backyard. Well, maybe not my backyard but maybe widen one of the nearby streets and block it off to vehicular traffic. That would be fine.
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Granted. But it's because you have spent so much time in prison that once on parole you could not qualify for a mortgage and now live in an abandoned school bus just off the departure end of the airport at Oakland International. Your back yard is a looong concrete strip.

I wish I did not need to rid myself of my airplane.
 
Granted you don't have to rid yourself of your airplane. You just received the inheritance check from the guy in India - you know that email you replied to and sent the $10k yup it was real congratulations. However when you sign for the check it means you accept to marry the village idiot. Again congratulations. But you get to keep the airplane.

Wish we could have a big snow storm on Monday so I can't go into work.
 
Granted. But.... it's a different kind of snow storm. The Feds just raided a hangar stockpiled with 85 kilos of uncut cocaine. And they confiscated several airplanes which just happened to be... the fleet of your flying club!

Remember that one member, the one that spoke with a slight Spanish accent and people thought he might be Brazilian possibly? Well he wasn't. He was Colombian. The Feds don't believe he smuggled all that coke in by himself so they are inditing all members of the club.

Trust me, you won't be going in to work Monday.

I wish I operated a coke ring. At least it would bring in some money. Legit business here can't.
 
Granted, your the ring master and the DEA drops a sting on you. You find yourself sharing a cell with Bubba.

I wish I didn't have to work late tonight.
 
John221us said:
Granted, your the ring master and the DEA drops a sting on you. You find yourself sharing a cell with Bubba.

I wish I didn't have to work late tonight.
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Granted. You get off early. Your uh... lady friend invites you for drinks. You go there, and her friend, Justa, shows up. You really aren't in the mood to party with Justa Frennd and you get all ****ed off. Later on that night you see her leave the bar with Justa Frennd in the passenger seat of her Beemer.

I need some love on this one. It's a long story.

I wish I didn't have to corrupt a wish with reality.
 
Granted, it is a fantasy. My GF is in Indiana and I flew to Big Bear to visit my dad. Fortunately, I only had to work until about 6:30. Not too bad.

I wish that the drop light I stuck under the sump does the trick and keeps the oil warm (it is supposed to be 3 degrees here tonight).
 
Granted, but the avionics are all solidly frozen in a block of ice.

I wish I had time for longer than an 11 mile ride. This new Winter riding gear is hella awesome.
 
Granted, but you were overtaken by a group of 40 to 50 year old riders who thought they were in a peloton and bowled you right over. Now your gear needs a little patching.

I wish I could find an open barber shop on a Monday.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but you were overtaken by a group of 40 to 50 year old riders who thought they were in a peloton and bowled you right over. Now your gear needs a little patching.

I wish I could find an open barber shop on a Monday.
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Wow. That was harsh. Granted, your buddy Sac Arrow happens to have a pair of those clippers left over from the 60's and he's giving high and tights. No, full on mohawks.

Consequently, you are thrust in the realm of UFC. You didn't want to go there but now here you are. You get in to it, you throw some punches, and you get a roundhouse kick that catches you in the jaw, and there goes all of your teeth.

You used to hate soup. You still hate it. But, that's what you eat now.

(Sac took a roundhouse to the shoulder in PKA full contact, it broke him up pretty bad, but he never had to eat soup as a result.)

I wish I had more to eat tonight than some sort of tostada thing with some whatever on it and all that.
 
Granted, you have a big bowl of tortilla soup.

I wish I hadn't had Mongolian for dinner. It is not sitting well.
 
Well it shouldn't. Ghengis Khan fathered 800 children by 700 wives. Perhaps girlfriends. I couldn't imagine going through more than one of those ceremony's myself but whatever. In any case, he had... lots... left over to... ugh, I can't even imagine.

I wish I worked close enough where I didn't have to drive to.
 
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