Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
View attachment 136736
Click to expand...

That brings up memories from my childhood of an ill fated trip to Dallas in a Winnebago back in the late 60's/early 70's. We were just past Tyler at night and the headlights were going in and out then completely out. My father located the fuse panel below and right of the steering column and changed a burnt fuse.... and suddenly, there was light....until there wasn't. After exhausting the supply of correct fuses and, I presume the not so correct fuses, we were dead in the water. That was until mom suggested the Juicy Fruit fix! It worked until you smelled the burning thin paper attached to the foil then you had a minute or so until darkness. If one worked, two must work better, right? I recall going through most of her pack of Juicy Fruit wrappers until dad had her soak dishrags in water and put them in the freezer. My mother spent about an hour holding cold rags on the makeshift 'fuses' while we were tasked the job of swapping out rags for her. How we didn't end up as a Roman candle on the shoulder of the highway, only God knows.

As an afterthought, I don't know how, after that event, my parents could warn us of the dangers of fireworks with a straight face.
 
Last edited:
Jim K said:
My wife's cousin had a vegan wedding. Had we known ahead of time, we would've uninvited ourselves.
Click to expand...
Had that happened to me in my 20's, I would have ordered some ribs delivered to the reception. Not just for me, I'd have walked around and taken orders.

In all seriousness, same sex marriage is legal in NY - and I think it should be. But I've never heard of a same sex marriage where they only invite same sex couples.
 
Jim K said:
My wife's cousin had a vegan wedding...
Click to expand...
Thankfully that's rare. Did you eat or chuck it? Did you say something, put a steak in the ground or just skirt the issue? Next time, tri tipping a server to sneak something to you.
 
Last edited:
Mahneuvers said:
Thankfully that's rare. Did you eat or chuck it? Did you say something, put a steak in the ground or just skirt the issue? Next time, tri tipping a server to sneak something to you.
Click to expand...
The worst part was that they didn't say anything about it. Wedding and reception were outdoors (of course), and the dinner was buffet style.

There was a pan of what looked like pulled pork, that we all assumed was for those of us who were not into culinary torture. Nope. It was some kind of look-alike squash & soy concoction. I still remember it as being the most foul thing I ever put in my mouth.

Somebody from our side of the family went into town and got a couple pizzas which we clandestinely shared in one of the indoor areas of the venue. It wasn't an ideological thing, the food was just that bad. We still joke about it 15 years later.

The cousin is no longer a vegetarian.
 
I went to a wedding a long time ago, the bride was vegan but the rest of both families were certainly not. Her father was also an executive VP for a large corp, and the food was first rate!

Copious foie gras, cheeses, and large shrimp during cocktail hour, and dinner was surf and turf, lobster tail with filet mignon!

And no DJ at this one, she had a 40pc big band. Fanciest wedding I’ve ever been invited to attend.
 
My wife generally prefers vegan/vegetarian foods. She is allergic to dairy, so that side of the equation is out, and she loves fresh fruits and veggies. I grew up on a farm, so I’m good with eating fresh stuff too. However, plop a well-done, well marinated sirloin in front of her and it disappears in a hurry.

If somebody wants to serve up fruits and vegetables, that’s fine. Some Indian options like chickpea curry are vegan and taste great. What I don’t understand is these vegans that decide that in order to be vegan, you have to choose the nastiest foods on the planet. People, there are some tasty options out there. Quit torturing your friends and family members in the guise of “your ideals!”
 
flyingpreacher said:
My wife generally prefers vegan/vegetarian foods. She is allergic to dairy, so that side of the equation is out, and she loves fresh fruits and veggies. I grew up on a farm, so I’m good with eating fresh stuff too. However, plop a well-done, well marinated sirloin in front of her and it disappears in a hurry.
Click to expand...
M wife was pretty much vegan when I met her, although one of her favorite veggies was bacon. :biggrin:

I introduced her to decent beef (my cousin had a couple dozen steers, and fed them properly), and she’s realized it’s not so bad.

Unfortunately my cousin retired a couple years ago, so we’ve resorted to the Mennonite meat locker in town. Not quite as good, but close.
 
Jim K said:
There was a pan of what looked like pulled pork, that we all assumed was for those of us who were not into culinary torture. Nope. It was some kind of look-alike squash & soy concoction. I still remember it as being the most foul thing I ever put in my mouth.
Click to expand...
1736005589803.png
 
WTH is a vegan wedding.??

When I used to cook a lot I had no problem fixing vegetarian dishes for those that wanted them. But they had to understand I am from Texas where Beef, is whats for dinner.
 
flyingpreacher said:
My wife generally prefers vegan/vegetarian foods. She is allergic to dairy, so that side of the equation is out, and she loves fresh fruits and veggies. I grew up on a farm, so I’m good with eating fresh stuff too. However, plop a well-done, well marinated sirloin in front of her and it disappears in a hurry.

If somebody wants to serve up fruits and vegetables, that’s fine. Some Indian options like chickpea curry are vegan and taste great. What I don’t understand is these vegans that decide that in order to be vegan, you have to choose the nastiest foods on the planet. People, there are some tasty options out there. Quit torturing your friends and family members in the guise of “your ideals!”
Click to expand...
I like good real meat and good real veggies. Will eat either/or/and/or/both at any given time. No fake and no labels.
 
geneseib said:
I like good real meat and good real veggies. Will eat either/or/and/or/both at any given time. No fake and no labels.
Click to expand...
I’m not crazy…strike that, my hobby has cost me thousands upon thousands of dollars, so maybe I am, but…we started reading the labels to avoid artificial flavors, colors, and bioengineered foods. It has been astounding to me how much junk is in our US foods. My wife is from Canada, and the differences are incredible.

But in the interest of keeping the joke thread going, this conversation happened in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

Ole and Lena are at deer camp, but Lena doesn’t come back to the cabin at night. Ole goes out looking, and finds Lena unconscious, so he calls 9-1-1.

9-1-1: Hey dere, what’s you’re emergency?
Ole: Lena’s not breathing. I think Lena’s dead.
9-1-1: Are ya sure Lena’s dead?
Ole: Hold on a just a minute dere… *BOOM*
9-1-1:………
Ole: Ok, now I’m sure.
 
I don’t mind vegan/vegetarian, except when someone tries to make it look or taste like meat.

Someone I knew made a big deal about jackfruit and how the texture was like pulled pork and with some bbq sauce it was a good substitute. No.

What’s the point?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top