Is it normal for a student pilot to feel sad like this?

LimaLili_17

LimaLili_17

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Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
 
It's hard to assess your (or anyone's) progress without flying with you, but it doesn't sound like you're way out of the norm for time to solo. Every student usually hits different plateaus during training, and pre-solo is one of those places. You end up going around the pattern just to practice the last 5 seconds of every circuit. Starting in September, that sounds like you may be flying fairly regularly, but more frequent lessons can certainly help. You might have a discussion with your instructor to see if maybe a flight or two with a different instructor might help, nothing against any one instructor, but quite often another viewpoint may just suggest a tip or technique that may have been overlooked. Bottom line, don't despair, from your (brief) description, it all sounds normal.
 
Normal. Flying is a series of nailing something and then effing it up the next time and scratching your head. Rarely does anything just click and magically start working.
Landings and most other things become good so slowly that you don't even realize that you are doing it well consistently because you have moved on and become frustrated with the next task.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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Where are you training? How motivating is your instructor? It could be you, or it could be a bunch of other things.
 
It sounds like flying isn’t living up to your expectations of it…. That is a genuine cause for revaluation.

I don’t say that to be harsh blah blah blah. It’s just my observation as someone who also started “obsessed”.

Something you REALLY want shouldn’t make ya feel that way. Doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it, only that it’s possible the flying aspects of flying may not have been what attracted you to it.

Flying is one of the tougher professions if you don’t like flying, but it isn’t uncommon.
 
Another vote for "normal" for many pilots.

I had a similar issue when I was working on my IFR ticket. I wrote an article along with a tip I used to help me get passed this problem. I'm copying and pasting the article here:

One of the challenges of learning to fly is dealing with self-doubt. You get the feeling that maybe you weren't meant to do this, or your just not smart enough or maybe it's just too hard for you. There are many other self-doubt thoughts that will creep into your mind as your training progresses.​
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I am getting towards the end of my IFR training and there have been many discouraging moments when I've asked myself - "Am I just too stupid to do this?". Now that I'm near the end, I realize I can, but those kind of thoughts also plagued me during my private training. I'm pretty sure the majority of pilots go through this.​
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Self-doubts are natural and will slowly subside with time. Your confidence will grow and as a result your flying will improve dramatically. However, unless you are one of the chosen few, you will never land your plane perfectly every time. You may get a few nice ones in a row and the next one will suck.​
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From a practical perspective, after a lesson I write down what I did wrong and what I should have done. Just a few brief notes that I save on my 'puter. This accomplishes two things for me. First it keeps a record that I can refer back on to reinforce the learning process.​
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The other thing it does is let me put my self doubts behind me. I've written down the problem, now I can stop thinking about it. I can stop questioning myself about it. Writing it down means I won't forget about it - and it also means I don't need to think about it anymore. It helps me move on towards more positive and fun thoughts about flying.​
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Your story sounds like mine. Been hard and slow at times. Several students that started later than me with less hours have graduated. Biggest problem I had was being nervous. Over that now. As long as your making progress keep at it. When I fly my goal is to improve at one item. Last week nailed crab to landing several times. Now we have winter approaching, no flying. Probably will have to repeat some of it. Nothing worthwhile is easy. I am not deterred you shouldn't be either.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
… I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. …
Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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What basis do you have that informed your expectation? Said differently, before you started your first lesson, what was your expectation of the training journey?

Are those expectations realistic? Not everything in life is easy.

But, sadness. If you can’t manage your own expectations and that results in you being unhappy, I’ll just say you’re in for a long ride.
 
It’s normal.

You’re learning a lot of material in a lot of divergent disciplines. Science/physics, fine motor skills, navigation, a new language (communications), instrumentation, medicine, psychology, etc. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, and it’s more difficult to stay focused if you set your expectations at an unreasonable level.

Many (most?) people who decide to learn to fly are already successful in other areas, and they naturally expect to have the same level of success in flying. This is a “perfect storm” setup for self-doubt and disappointment…but a whole lot of people push through it and get at least to PPL.

Just keep this in mind: If flying were easy, ATPs would be paid like Uber drivers.
 
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I was there my friend!

Same story almost- always obsessed and started lessons and I was 20 hrs in and felt no where close to solo or even close to just feeling “I got this”. I remeber thinking “maybe I’m not cut out for this”

For me an instructor change made all the difference- though that’s not always the recipe. I’m still friends w my original instructor- his teaching style and my learning style didn’t mesh- simple as that.

But I was right where you are wondering if the dream of flight was unobtainable for me…

Even if you don’t switch instructors a time or three with someone else likely won’t hurt.

The biggest thing is stick with it! If you want- it will come bar some sort of extraordinary inability of yours- and I doubt that to be the case- if you’ve landed it before you got it, just gotta polish…

I’m by no means am I an extraordinary pilot, I think of myself as a good pilot but not amazing, but I stuck with it and earned it- let me share with you my experiences since. This is coming from a guy who thought he couldn’t do it:

Flew 10 years in a 180hp 172 club pretty boring flying- not the plane but what I did with it.

Then bought an old 1947 Cessna 140- I learned that bird like the back of my hand, I knew every control cable and nook n cranny (easy to do w a simple bird) I flew the wings off that thing. I took it from Michigan to Johnson Creek Idaho twice- figuring out high density altitude flying on 85hp- what an amazing couple trips, took her to Florida n back once and colored the state of MI solid with magenta lines. I’ve now moved onto a Mooney M20F and rip around the sky at 140kts traveling states away fishing or taking a kiddo to a friends.

I’ve had the honor of taking a local aviation legend up for his last flight while his great grandson experienced flight for the first time on that “mission”. I took another terminally ill man up so he could taste flight before death, I’ve introduced dozens of kids to flight, flying Young Eagles, and have had camping adventures w my family n friends as well as greasy spoon burgers with buddies. And so much more.

None of those events would have happened had I thrown in the towel. Don’t throw in the towel. Don’t get the attitude of throwing in the towel- someday if an emergency crops up you want to be the pilot with the never give up attitude and chances are you’ll get to tell the tale if you keep a “never throw in the towel” attitude.

You’ve got this grasshopper ;). Clear prop and earn those wings even if it’s a tough battle at times- you’ve got this- if you want it.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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“…I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go…”

This is true of ALL pilots
 
StraightnLevel said:
Just keep this in mind: If flying were easy, ATPs would be paid like Uber drivers.
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I think there are more ATPs than anything else. And we DO get paid like Uber drivers. But… I digress.

The ATP is the easiest rating to get. The Private is the hardest. And doing a LOT of both private level flying and ATP level flying, there’s not a lot of overlap. Two different worlds.

Sorta by definition what you expected from flying before you flew is a fantasy, you hadn’t experienced it.

The thing about fantasy is that it’s perfect, again, by definition. Take a careful look and thought about what you’re doing now. THAT is what you need to evaluate.

You and I were no different in the fantasy stage… and what I experienced as I learn to fly was radically different than my fantasy, or expectation. I, fortunately, happened to like that as much as my fantasy.

It WILL get easier. You may or may not grow to like it. Experiencing doubt is normal.

Ok… take this advice. I believe it to be at the root of this sort of situation…

Try and fail, but DO NOT fail to try.

But do realize nothing is generally what you expect. Be honest with yourself about the state of the present.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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I remember having flights with my CFI and going home sad. You have bad days and good days. Perfectly normal. Sometimes your CFI is having a bad day and it rubs off on you. Just don't worry, it doesn't help
 
Are you feeling like *you're* not living up to expectations or that *flying* isn't? If the former, another vote for normal feelings. I went through something almost exactly what you're describing, down the hour mark even. It is especially hard when you're used to being successful fairly quickly if you just try hard enough, and you're just not getting it no matter how hard you try. That can really throw a wrench in your self-confidence. Another thing that can be difficult to get over is if you've read about how many pilots soloed at 6 or 9 or 12 hours, and you're not soloed yet and you have 20+.

I had 10 hours, was told I'd be taking my pre-solo test the next lesson because I was almost ready to solo, and then the day after my lesson, the school shut down. A couple months later, I found a new plane, new CFI, and new airport to take lessons at, but I didn't actually solo until I had about 30 hours. I struggled with feeling that I wasn't "up to par" a lot, and you could probably find my posts on here struggling with it and the advice given me if you wanted to do so. I was able to push through those feelings and finish my training, and even passed my checkride on the first try with a few compliments on my flying from the DPE.

If you feel like flying itself isn't living up to expectations, you might want to rethink spending more money on chasing it unless you think you'd regret not finishing more than spending time and money on something you're not ultimately going to use or enjoy.
 
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20 hrs is a common area for students to get frustrated. Students seem to start off doing landings pretty well but they don't really understand what it is they are doing to make them go well. As they do more landings they have to think about all the factors and movements they are doing and it tends to over welm them and the landings tend to get worse until they can start putting all the little peices that they learn and practice each time they land into natural reflexes/responses to what the airplane is doing. This takes time and practice. The interesting thing I have found is most of my students take their check ride with about same number of total hours. The number of hours they have when they solo doesn't seem to affect the number of hours it takes to get be prepared for the checkride.

Brian CFIIG/ASEL
 
It’s a constant learning activity, just keep at it. For me, I didn’t understand why we were learning what we were learning and I think that made it more difficult to understand in the beginning. So maybe do a little more ground school, YouTube videos, to understand the basics better, and then go from there. Then come on here with specific areas that you want different opinions on.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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In addition to the points above. Consider that you may want to rethink how you think. Instead of only feeling good if you have mastery, have mastery as your goal, but approach flying as something that you can never perfect, the goal is to always be safe and to work to get better and never stop learning/working to improve.

I took up flying precisely because it's something that you're never "done" learning.
 
This happens to pretty much all of us at some point. For me, it happened during my multi training. The instructor was great but always focused on the things I was doing wrong or not to his standards. He wasn't wrong, but left me demotivated. So I switched instructors and voila': did my best checkride so far and passed with flying colors and full confidence.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard.
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If it helps to know this: I have been doing primary instruction for 23 years. Over time, I have learned most students have somewhere between 80 and 100 landings with their instructor before they solo.
Tools said:
The ATP is the easiest rating to get. The Private is the hardest.
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I think the CFI rating is the hardest, but I never had a private pilot certificate. For me, the single-engine seaplane rating was the easiest. I did not get the ATP, just commercial, SEL, MEL, instrument and SES.
 
The first step towards being good at something is sucking at it.

Flying an airplane isn't a natural human capability, and takes, time, study, practice and understanding.

It seems as if you believed your prior obsession would make this a super-simple task to master, and this is catching you by surprise that it's really difficult work.

What motivated you to begin this journey, and has this changed at all? @LimaLili_17
 
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Normal, I thought I would ace everything, Naah, didn’t happen.

Just kept at it, finished the ppl, instrument, commercial and cfi next
 
Training is full of peaks and valleys. Some days you can't do anything right, then some days you can't do anything wrong. And it will continue like this even after you get your certificate.

Before you do anything rash, have another instructor do an evaluation flight with you. Sometimes another point of view is all it takes to get back on track.
 
Rgbeard said:
The first step towards being good at something is sucking at it.

Flying an airplane isn't a natural human capability, and takes, time, study, practice and understanding.

It seems as if you believed your prior obsession would make this a super-simple task to master, and this is catching you by surprise that it's really difficult work.

What motivated you to begin this journey, and has this changed at all? @LimaLili_17
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Hello! I was motivated since an early age cause I grew up right next to a major airport, and I sort of became fascinated with the idea of flying one of those planes one day. And thanks for your advice! It really makes me look at my situation in another light. :)
 
LimaLili_17 said:
...but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best.
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Perfectly normal, and actually better than (erroneously) thinking “I’m great and I’ve got this wired!” Humility is a much safer attitude and more conducive to learning.


LimaLili_17 said:
I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard.
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It will always be like this. Even when you’re a 60-year-old senior captain at a major airline. If both plane and pilot are reusable afterward, the landing was great.



LimaLili_17 said:
I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work.
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If you’re doing your best there’s nothing more you can do. Cut yourself a little slack.


LimaLili_17 said:
Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now.
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Certainly. Suck it up, buttercup!
:)
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Normal. Flying is a series of nailing something and then effing it up the next time and scratching your head. Rarely does anything just click and magically start working.
Landings and most other things become good so slowly that you don't even realize that you are doing it well consistently because you have moved on and become frustrated with the next task.
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Sounds a lot like golf.
 
JOhnH said:
Sounds a lot like golf.
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Landings are for pilots like shots are for golf players. You're always chasing the perfect one, and sometimes you get oh-so-close, only to wildly screw up the next one.

I had a landing the other day that was so smooth I almost couldn't tell the wheels had started rolling. The next day I had a landing that started with a bounce and ended up with an "arrival". The first made me happy, and the second made me determined to figure out what I did wrong and do better next time. That's just part of the pilot experience!
 
The golf analogy is a good one. Even the top Pros have bad days or even bad spells. Same goes for flying at all levels from student pilot to ATP. As you gain experience, the bad days will become fewer and less frequent but they will always be there. Don't sweat it, just learn from the mistakes and move on.
 
What’s your end goal? Is it just to get your license and be able to fly or is it planning on being a career? If it’s the former then what’s the rush. The only difference between having a license and not having one is that you need to bring an instructor with you when flying. You can do everything now that you want to do after getting your license, it just may require paying an instructor for their time sitting in the right seat while you do it. The plane rental and gas will cost the same no matter if you are licensed or not. Take a day and see if your instructor will fly with you to a local pancake breakfast or pick an airport with a resteraunt, fly there with him and then spend lunch doing ground work while eating. Just don’t get stuck in a rut thinking you need to perfect landing before doing anything else fun.
 
LimaLili_17 said:
Hello everyone! I just joined this forum to come on here and talk about how my private pilot training is going. I just recently started in September, and although I'm getting closer to my solo (I have around 20 hours logged), I feel that I'm not where I have to be. I've grown up being obsessed with planes almost my entire life, but it feels like I'm not living up to this expectation I had in my mind. It's on me, but I feel that I'm behind with my flying. I'm catching up on my online ground school, but I also feel that my flying is lackluster at times, even when I'm trying my best. I'm working on landings, and some of them have been really nice, butter-like landings! But then I have some where everything just doesn't go the way I plan it to go and it just feels really hard. I feel sad, although I know I'm trying my best even with other factors in my life, such as college and work. Please give me any motivation or advice, I really need some of that right now. :( Thanks!
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My worse students own their own businesses. The reason is they take a flight lesson and after they leave their entire cognitive processes are involved with running their business.

Learning to fly is about problem solving. Most of that problem solving occurs within 6 hours after the flight lesson as the student replays the flight mentally and applies problem solving.

Another important part of the learning is learning the elements of procedures before getting in the airplane.
 
AvNavCom said:
I had a landing the other day that was so smooth I almost couldn't tell the wheels had started rolling.
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I know exactly when I made my very best landing. It was in 1972, at night, in Da Nang on a wet runway. The C-130 has a micro switch that locks the gear lever down when there is weight on the main gear. I heard that "click" but since the runway was very long, did not brake or use reverse for a while. The loadmaster said on intercom: "You just had the best compliment you will ever get on a landing, sir. A guy back here asked if he had time for a cigarette before we touch down."
 
Daleandee said:
This continues for the life of a pilot so you might as well get used to it ... :biggrin:
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I’ve been flying off and on since the 80s

Last week I landed 3 times on one flight! I had just seen a video of someone skipping rocks so I’m blaming them. Or maybe someone put springs in my landing gear. Actually, a bee landed on me, yes, that’s it, that’s what happened haha
 
I'll offer this...Stop flying for a couple of weeks and concentrate on knocking out ground school and your written. Then get back in the air, at least a couple of times a week and you will see a huge progression in your skills. I had done a few hours in the air before I ended moving and didn't fly for a few weeks. Found a ground school at a local education institution that went for about 8 weeks. Went thru class and took my exam and passed. I started flying again, as many as three times a week. My skills became much better and I ended up taking my check ride at 40.1 hours total....
 
Flight training wasn't a particularly enjoyable exercise for me. In hindsight, as soon as I learned a maneuver well enough to demonstrate the ability to reliably perform above ACS test standards I moved on to something new, which for me took some time to master. In effect I never got to enjoy the stuff I got good at before moving on to something new. Lots of coaching required from the instructor. The ratio of attaboys to "constructive" criticism was definitely skewed. The instructors job is to point out flaws in your flying. For me it was a very intense and humbling experience. After passing the check ride I was able to fly in a more relaxed environment and enjoy the challenge of mastering the maneuvers involved in piloting the plane. I have yet to complete the perfect flight. I still find areas to hone, but most flights I do lots of stuff well and find some stuff to work on. That's the challenge and the reward. Personally, flying would be pretty boring for me if every flight was perfect. You'll tend not to hear about other pilot's whoopsie blunders, but there are lots of less than perfect pilots out there. If you only compare your flying to what other pilots tell you about their extraordinary skills it can make you sad.

Every once in a while look back on your training syllabus and congratulate yourself on the stuff you've learned/mastered.
 
Sometimes training is stressful. It's expensive, and that can add to the stress. Do you have any flying mentors you can just fly with? Not for a lesson, but someone who you can split expenses with and just fly? That might help too. You can learn how they do things and also see their confidence, autonomy and enjoyment of simply having the PPL.
 
SkyChaser said:
Are you feeling like *you're* not living up to expectations or that *flying* isn't? If the former, another vote for normal feelings. I went through something almost exactly what you're describing, down the hour mark even. It is especially hard when you're used to being successful fairly quickly if you just try hard enough, and you're just not getting it no matter how hard you try. That can really throw a wrench in your self-confidence. Another thing that can be difficult to get over is if you've read about how many pilots soloed at 6 or 9 or 12 hours, and you're not soloed yet and you have 20+.
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This!!

Don't be sad because you're not living up to the expectations you set for yourself. TV, movies, make it look like anyone just jumps into a plane and starts flying. Not the case. You probably love it enough that you know all of the technical reasons why planes fly, but that's not the same as flying.

It's a lot like learning to ride a bike, but in 2 more dimensions, while doing math in your head and talking at the same time.

Don't worry about the speed. It probably took me 200 tries to get landings right. Practice the things you have trouble with until they 'click' and feel right. Assuming you're in a civilian program, don't let somebody push you to step 2 until you're set with step 1.
 
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