aterry1067
Line Up and Wait
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- Nov 4, 2020
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Alpha_Delta_Tango
Planes or ladies?
Planes or ladies?
Given the gender ratios, particularly of singles, I don’t see fly ins as a high probability means to finding a gf,....
40 years later we're still sharing a tent.![]()
Puppies and horses almost aren’t sporting. Too easy
It'd work better to buy a horse and start going to horse shows. But if you think airplanes are a money sink,......
I hear the hourly rates are about the same.Planes or ladies?
Puppies and horses almost aren’t sporting. Too easy
Ok. True story.Learn to play guitar ...![]()
Youth is wasted on the young.Ok. True story.
I was in a very small town in a very remote part of Norway for military winter training. Dombås, population 1,164. We are sitting in the TV lounge of the barracks on a Saturday morning, bored out of our skulls, watching Swedish TV. It was 20 below outside.
One of our guys walks in with a guitar, sits down and starts playing Guns n Roses. This was back in the early 90's, when you could do this unironically.
Within 15 minutes there were a half dozen young Norwegian women sitting on the floor in a semi circle listening to him play. I have no idea where they came from. Like little blond snow fairies, they emerged from the snowy woods, lured by the accoustic guitar and bad Axl Rose imitation.
It was at that moment I realized that I had wasted my youth and my knees on contact sports, trying to be a tough guy to impress the girls. I should have grown my hair long and learned music.
Here is the one picture I can find from that trip, just to give you an idea how remote it was:
View attachment 129405
I know some people online, but I can't imagine myself saying "You know, I know of this guy on PoA called Sam7 that seems like your type". Just not the same thing as saying that about someone I know in person.
What about Cleared for the Approach?Do we not have a personals subsection under the Classifieds board? Seems like an oversight on the mods' part.
Putting an ad online in the late 90s early 2000s bears little resemblance to online dating of nowadays. I tell the youngin's now about how I met my now wife on match.com and you'd think I was telling them a story about meeting her at the soda shop after an Elvis concert. I mean, match.com was the comparatively edgy choice compared to e-harmony.Your story is very similar to mine, a number of years ago. Both financially and romantically. I also had a ton of hobbies and the money to enjoy them. I was also constantly lonely. I was never a sociable person and quite awkward with women.
Finally, in my late 40s I found the love of my life. We met each other online. Twenty years later and I love her more than ever and we've had a great life together.
It took my sister pressuring me to put an ad online in the personals section. I was completely honest with my ad. I think it read a lot like your post here.
You just might want to consider doing a personal ad. I would copy about 90% of your initial post here. Maybe add a few other things you are interested in. Possibly suggest that you are looking for an online friend to start.
If your ad speaks from the heart, just like your post above, you may be very surprised with the results. Your honesty and concerns about being a good partner shows you are a considerate and thoughtful person. These attributes, more than anything else, is exactly what most women are looking for.
The fact you are a pilot and financially secure pretty much puts you at the top of the list.
I would cast a vote to go and write the ad on whatever is the current leader on personal connection applications.
Just do it.
I still have my wife's response to my one and only personal ad. It changed everything about my life.
This thread has me thinking of one of my favorite lyrics. Boomers will recognize it right away:
I've been looking in the mirror all the time,
Wondering what she don't see in me,
I've been funny I've been cool with the lines,
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?
I met her on FB dating actually
I did not know that was actually a thing. The more you know...
And congrats on your find, btw.
When you’re ready, get on the apps.
Get yourself in a good place, first. Network as folks suggested- interest groups. Volunteer- church, scouts, food banks, meals on wheels, etc. Group hikes or runs, climbs or paddles or trivia night. Whatever spins your prop. All those things put you in a position to make friends in a meaningful way, feel good about what you’re doing with your time, and maybe meet women as a bonus.
Given the gender ratios, particularly of singles, I don’t see fly ins as a high probability means to finding a gf, but ymmv
Best of luck!
It'd work better to buy a horse and start going to horse shows. But if you think airplanes are a money sink,......
Learn to play guitar ...![]()
@Sam7 welcome to PoA, may your stay be long.
Let me just start by stating an obvious truth. Humans are complicated and there is rarely a magic formula for them. You want to get financially secure? Simple, spend less than you earn. You want to lose weight? Simple, consume less calories than you burn. You want to build muscles? Simple. Lower reps at higher weights.
Human relationships? HA! I have lost relationships over something seemingly stupid, and I have others (non-romantic) that I have no idea how we're still friends. Further, once you're in a relationship, each and every one is different. Romantic ones are even more unique. Finally, to maintain that relationship is different for each couple. If you'll watch couples, what works for one couple would most definitely not work for another. But each tends to find what works for them.
I say this not to discourage you, but to rather disabuse you of the notion that if do everything right girls (in this case) will just come to you. As you've seen, dating apps are very miss and occasionally hit. But, I think the suggestion of getting involved in actual personal groups is a good one. There you can observe other people, get better at socializing. Also you can observe a possible gf without the commitment of trying to date her immediately. There is less stress and you can perhaps add a female or two as friends instead of failed romantic prospects. There is no replacement for seeing how a person acts in real life vs in a filtered existence online. Unfortunately, the current world has decided that real life is scary and new people are to be avoided. I would suggest, no offense intended, that the fact that you came here to pour your heart out would indicate that you too are not really comfortable with making friends in the real world. You can operate there, but always with a purpose and once that purpose is done, so are you.
So, my suggestion, like others before me, would be to go to groups that share your hobbies. But, once the meeting is over, don't leave. Stick around during the break down and clean up. Just talk to others (male or female) about random stuff. If its a comic-con (as an example) maybe see if you can find someone to talk to about airplanes, or homeownership. Something besides the reason you're there. Maybe eventually try to schedule a lunch date. The goal is to get to know others and do a couple of things. 1) Make friends. 2) Social network. You never know when the sister-of-a-cousin-of-a-current-ex-girlfriend may say "I can't believe I can't find a good guy" and this person you were merely talking to about the benefits of low-wing vs high-wing aircraft says "You know, I know this guy who is single and would seem to be just your type" and next thing you know they're trying to set you up on a blind date. The more people you know, the larger your net is be definition.
I know some people online, but I can't imagine myself saying "You know, I know of this guy on PoA called Sam7 that seems like your type". Just not the same thing as saying that about someone I know in person.
A lot of rambling from SGOTI. But kinda have to shotgun it as despite your best intentions I really dont know the guy known as Sam7, so hard to be more precise.
Again, welcome and good luck on this stage of your journey.
What part of the country are you in? I'd suggest the Meet-up app, I've gone on dozens of hikes using it and the M-F ratio is pretty good.
Good on you for reaching out to your fellow human, that's half the battle and a sign that you're on the right track.
I have never met a woman that I had a relationship with when I was looking for a woman. They came from just doing things and meeting all sorts of people.
Sam, have you tried bumble? Because it gives women “the control” over making first contact, it may benefit a thoughtful guy like you.
Different dating apps attack different types. It’s been too long since I’ve been on them for ne to know those “flavors”- but ones that required of encouraged lots of longer answers were where I found more success. And lots of photos…
The less effort I put into looking for a girlfriend the better the results have been. There is absolutely a point of diminishing returns and its a low bar.
Back in the day, meetup groups were gold for me, too. Group runs. It’s nice to bring a wingman or have someone there who knows you- puts women at ease that you’re not a serial killer
Fly up to the city and I’ll be your wingman. “He’s a bit shy, but he’s an awesome pilot! Ask him about his airplane. We’ll take you on a bay tour and get coffee in half moon bay. You can bring a friend.