What have we learned from being married?

upstateny

upstateny

Line Up and Wait
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Apr 8, 2011
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Now in SW Florida
After 40 years, I've come up with these important rules.
  1. Don't introduce her as "my first wife"
  2. A man who wins an argument with his wife has only himself to blame.
  3. It's much better to say to her "You take my breath away" than "You suck the life out of me".
What have you learned?
 
upstateny said:
After 40 years, I've come up with these important rules.
  1. Don't introduce her as "my first wife"
  2. A man who wins an argument with his wife has only himself to blame.
  3. It's much better to say to her "You take my breath away" than "You suck the life out of me".
What have you learned?
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IF she asks, "Does this make me look fat?" do NOT under any circumstances reply, "No, the chocolates took care of that." :no: :no: :no:
 
LDJones said:
IF she asks, "Does this make me look fat?" do NOT under any circumstances reply, "No, the chocolates took care of that." :no: :no: :no:
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"No, the dress doesn't make you look fat, you make you look fat."
 
4. Do not use separate ringtones for your wife, any of your girlfriends, or for that matter anybody else.
 
If you even think that your wife doesn't want you to do it, don't. After 30 years a marriage, I can't hide anything from her.
 
I've learned from other peoples marriages that I don't want to get married.
 
Don't even attempt to do anything related to interior decor. She will just change it anyway.
 
Gloss, semi-gloss, eggshell, satin and flat paints of the same color are not interchangeable. Even in the garage.

If the wife is gone for more than a day, do one major chore. When she returns, it's praise for the great job you did. If you don't, it's "You didn't do a single thing while I was gone".
 
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30 years this year, but I've learned to introduce her as my trophy wife. If I also add that "because I didn't want to do this twice", I get a laugh from the guys, and silence from my wife. Winning! :goofy:

Just kidding, honey. :D:wink2:
 
I learned that she has a better bs detector than I do and so I often pay very close attention to her thoughts before I do something.

I learned that women have a shopping gene that men don't have. Men have a Buy Stuff gene, that women do not have.
When they go Shopping, it is not necessarily to buy things.
When we go to a store, we go in, buy what we came for, and leave.

I learned that she is much happier when I stop what i am doing, give her my full attention and answer as if that question is the most thing I will think about today.

MOSTLY I learned that if I do those things enough, She is Very Happy and That I end up VERY HAPPY.
 
We manage to survive by listening to The Bickersons.

John "What do think about that?"

Blanche "I don't think, I know."

John "I don't think you know either!"

Or

Blanche "John, am I beginning to look like an old hag?"

John "You are not beginning to look like an old hag."

Blanche "WHAT?"

John "You are not beginning to look like an old hag."


Cheers
 
Leah lurks, doesn't she? :D

'sup Leah?
 
not that i know of. i'm pretty sure that most of you who have met her will agree with my statement. and most of us who have met you would say that staying single is the best decision Ed has ever made too :D:D
 
Florida Cracker said:
I learned that she is much happier when I stop what i am doing, give her my full attention and answer as if that question is the most thing I will think about today.
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Sincerity....when you can fake that, you have it made!! :goofy:
 
Our 28th wedding anniversary is in December ... we'll be celebrating 20 years of wedded bliss and 8 years of amazing fights! ;) just kidding
 
tonycondon said:
not that i know of. i'm pretty sure that most of you who have met her will agree with my statement. and most of us who have met you would say that staying single is the best decision Ed has ever made too :D:D
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It hasn't really been my decision. :rofl:
 
DavidWhite said:
I've learned from other peoples marriages that I don't want to get married.
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I have learned that I want to get it right the first time.

I also know that while it is work to be with my bride to be she is worth it.





Did I mention work? I meant hard work, and lots of it!:yikes:
 
There's a useless thing called a dust ruffle, and they're mandatory on female's beds.
 
I've learned that marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

Near the end you are just looking for a club and a spade.
 
I have learned that marriage is not a 50%-50% proposition. It is an 80%-80% one. If you both give 80%, then neither of you is shortchanged.
 
AuntPeggy said:
I have learned that marriage is not a 50%-50% proposition. It is an 80%-80% one. If you both give 80%, then neither of you is shortchanged.
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You couldn't be more right. Mary and I are each willing to give 80% but we both feel like we are the ones receiveing 80%. It's like breaking the cookie and ending up with two "big halves".

EDIT: This could wear off when we are no longer newly-weds.

Steve and Mary, September 15, 1991.
 
Wife: Do you want to go out for dinner or do you want me to cook?
Husband: You cook.
Wife: Really? You don't want to go out? I really don't feel like cooking and was hoping you'd pick go out.
Husband: Then why did you ask?

This scene was repeated A LOT until we hit on the solution. When my wife asks a question (Do you want A or B?) "A" is the right answer. Once she learned to ask the question correctly, I always got the right answer. (BTW, it's "A" or "Yes" depending on the type of question.)
 
upstateny said:
Wife: Do you want to go out for dinner or do you want me to cook?
Husband: You cook.
Wife: Really? You don't want to go out? I really don't feel like cooking and was hoping you'd pick go out.
Husband: Then why did you ask?

This scene was repeated A LOT until we hit on the solution. When my wife asks a question (Do you want A or B?) "A" is the right answer. Once she learned to ask the question correctly, I always got the right answer. (BTW, it's "A" or "Yes" depending on the type of question.)
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Women always do that to me. Not just food either.
 
How much more can you know about somebody after a couple of years?

We didn't need nearly that long to work the pre-nup puzzle and yesterday marked 50.66 years.



DavidWhite said:
They are!

My parents dated for 12 years before they got married. Gotta make sure it's the right one.
Click to expand...
 
upstateny said:
Wife: Do you want to go out for dinner or do you want me to cook?
Husband: You cook.
Wife: Really? You don't want to go out? I really don't feel like cooking and was hoping you'd pick go out.
Husband: Then why did you ask?

This scene was repeated A LOT until we hit on the solution. When my wife asks a question (Do you want A or B?) "A" is the right answer. Once she learned to ask the question correctly, I always got the right answer. (BTW, it's "A" or "Yes" depending on the type of question.)
Click to expand...

If she'd really learned how to ask the question correctly, then either choice would work for her - Do you want to eat at This Restaurant or That Restaurant tonight? AND, you'd always be right.
 
EdFred said:
Not if he waits another 20 years.
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18 plus however long mom has left in the pregnancy, actually.

Sheesh. Get it right. This is a PILOT forum... the numbers count!!! :)

(Sorry... badddddd I know, but it does fit this forum's style...)
 
I learned from my first marriage all the red flags to avoid for my second.
 
denverpilot said:
18 plus however long mom has left in the pregnancy, actually.

Sheesh. Get it right. This is a PILOT forum... the numbers count!!! :)

(Sorry... badddddd I know, but it does fit this forum's style...)
Click to expand...


I was assuming his buddy hadn't even met the girl who was going to have his future wife yet. :hairraise:
 
Ooh, thought of a good one...

"Two can live cheaper than one..."

Is a lie. :)

I can live a LOT cheaper than she can. :)
 
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