Weird ways to get fired at work

[JackL-3J]

Once upon a time, there were two sales representatives, one male and one female. For anonymity, I'll say they worked for Szekely and Aeromarine. Their employers thought that they were sending them out into the field to sell aircraft engines and outsell each other.

But, it seems the two had made an agreement with each other not to compete for sales. Instead they used the money they were given by their respective employers to have a bit of fun away from home. This continued for several years until one of the two was promoted.

Then both companies that these two worked for started getting inexplicable telephone calls from the field. Calls asking why people were suddenly coming around trying to sell them aircraft engines.

With the secret out of the bag, they were both dismissed for cause. Sucks to be them. But it made for interesting conversation out in the field. Some of which might even be true

 

[robin ardoin]

A local family owned oil refinery, that was in the process of winding down operations, was the subject of an FBI and EPA investigation for allegations of illegal waste storage. Although within several months of investigation and no findings of credible evidence to support the allegations, the EPA and FBI agents in charge kept the investigations and charges ongoing for over 7 years. Ultimately, the charges were dismissed with prejudice when it was discovered that the lead EPA and lead FBI agents were continuing the investigation only to foster an ongoing extramarital affair between the two (one lived in Louisiana, one in Texas). The refinery manager, upon showing evidence of fraudulent evidence and malicious intent succeeded in getting a substantial settlement and having the two agents fired. Your federal gubment at work...... This was the Canal Refinery in Church Point, LA just down the road from me.

for your viewing pleasure: https://casetext.com/case/vidrine-v-united-states

 

[Htaylor]

 

[GaryM]

Under the heading of 'weird ways to think you got fired at work', I'll add my experience at my first job out of grad school. I'd been in Discovery Research there for a number of years. One day, I returned from a week's vacation, stopped at the mail room first to pick up my accumulated mail, and on my walk to my lab noticed a new org chart on top of the stack. I was no longer on the org chart. I reached my lab, and it was deserted. As were the nearby labs. Apparently, everyone was at a departmental meeting to which I'd not been invited.

I made the long walk to the management core and found an admin I knew from a different department. I showed her the org chart and asked if she knew what was going on. I was NOT encouraged when her eyes got wide, and she whispered "nobody told you?"

Turns out, I had been transferred to a different department, but neither my previous management nor my new management had found it noteworthy enough to mention to me.

 

[midlifeflyer]

Old, long thread, but I guess I should mention I was once laid off via speaker phone.

 

[DaleB]

Old, long thread, but I guess I should mentioned I was once laid off via speaker phone.

Teams call here.

 

[kmacht]

Once upon a time, there were two sales representatives, one male and one female. For anonymity, I'll say they worked for Szekely and Aeromarine. Their employers thought that they were sending them out into the field to sell aircraft engines and outsell each other.

But, it seems the two had made an agreement with each other not to compete for sales. Instead they used the money they were given by their respective employers to have a bit of fun away from home. This continued for several years until one of the two was promoted.

Then both companies that these two worked for started getting inexplicable telephone calls from the field. Calls asking why people were suddenly coming around trying to sell them aircraft engines.

With the secret out of the bag, they were both dismissed for cause. Sucks to be them. But it made for interesting conversation out in the field. Some of which might even be true

Maybe I'm missing something but how do two sales people work in the field for years without any sales, keep their jobs all those years and then one of them gets promoted? Were their employers just giving them money each payday without any evidence that they were actually doing anything at all for years on end?

 

[JackL-3J]

Maybe I'm missing something but how do two sales people work in the field for years without any sales, keep their jobs all those years and then one of them gets promoted? Were their employers just giving them money each payday without any evidence that they were actually doing anything at all for years on end?

As I heard the story, each company had existing customers, and the two synchronized thier efforts so as to maintain the existing balance. Of course, they were defrauding thier employers who were paying them to increase sales, not to spend romantic weekends at a hotel in Yankton, South Dakota.

 

[GaryM]

Of course, they were defrauding thier employers who were paying them to increase sales, not to spend romantic weekends at a hotel in Yankton, South Dakota.

That may be the first time ‘romantic weekend’ and ‘Yankton, South Dakota’ have been used together in the same sentence.

 

[wanttaja]

Was in a startup ~23 years ago, starting the long spiral down the drain. Had an all-employees meeting. We were told that if we *were* being retained, there'd be an email waiting for us when we got back to our desks.

I had one, but was out the door about a month later. Fortunately, I'd opened hailing frequencies back at my old job, and they told me I'd have an offer by Saturday or the Monday after.

We were refinancing our house at the time. I was laid off on Thursday, and the bank handling the loan called Friday to verify my employment. "Uh....he doesn't work here anymore."

And of course I didn't have the offer letter in-hand, yet.....

Ron Wanttaja

 

[Half Fast]

As I heard the story, each company had existing customers, and the two synchronized thier efforts so as to maintain the existing balance. Of course, they were defrauding thier employers who were paying them to increase sales, not to spend romantic weekends at a hotel in Yankton, South Dakota.

I assume they were subsequently hired by the FBI.....

 

[robin ardoin]

I assume they were subsequently hired by the FBI.....

Well played, Sir, well played...

 

[Half Fast]

I should probably mention that the absolute worst job, bar none, I had during my career at LockMart was selecting people for a layoff and notifying them. When the Army cancelled the Comanche program, I was managing a department and I suddenly had a large group of electrical engineers kicked back to me for reassignment at a time when I had limited openings to fill.

I worked many late nights trying to find assignments that would let people retain employment, I read every personnel file looking for skills that would let someone take a different assignment, I contacted my counterparts at the other divisions looking for open slots, and I hardly slept worrying about whether I'd exhausted every possibility and was doing the right thing. I got about 2/3 of the folks placed somewhere but still had to notify a sizable group. All notices were done in person, 1-on-1, in private, and as late in the day as I could manage to make it easier for the employee to go home afterward.

Giving notices is certainly better than receiving one, but it is still a painful, distressing, gut-wrenching job, especially when you have to notify people who are friends in addition to being colleagues.

 

[Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe]

Big round of layoffs - of course they went by seniority so some really great people got let go while the placeholders remained. One of the more talented techs got let go around noon. At 2 or 3 in the afternoon, the manager was informed that too many people had been let go - so the manager calls the tech to tell him to come back. The tech replied that it was too late, he already had a better job.

 

[Bob Noel]

... All notices were done in person, 1-on-1, in private, ...

During one of the rare layoffs, one of my coworkers had to give the news to one particular employee. My coworker was actually a little afraid of the guy and wanted security nearby as well as not being alone with the guy when giving him the news.

 

[Kiddo's Driver]

Of course it matters. Think it through... the guy will have access to a sensitive/restricted space.

He literally has an "Unescorted access to nuclear facilities" clearance.

 

[Half Fast]

During one of the rare layoffs, one of my coworkers had to give the news to one particular employee. My coworker was actually a little afraid of the guy and wanted security nearby as well as not being alone with the guy when giving him the news.

Oh, we took precautions with certain employees, but the precautions were out of sight.

 

[kyleb]

I should probably mention that the absolute worst job, bar none, I had during my career at LockMart was selecting people for a layoff and notifying them. When the Army cancelled the Comanche program, I was managing a department and I suddenly had a large group of electrical engineers kicked back to me for reassignment at a time when I had limited openings to fill.

When I first read this, I transposed helicopter names and thought you were there when the Cheyenne was cancelled. I thought "Damn, Half Fast is OLD"...

 

[Mahneuvers]

... the absolute worst job, bar none, I had during my career at LockMart was selecting people for a layoff...

I can relate working for a .com in the early 2000s. Administering a half dozen or so layoffs every six months was soul depleting. I remember one layoff working very hard to get someone off the list only to have him blow up on me because he sensed it coming, had lined up a new job and was looking forward to two paychecks. I was able to get him back on the list.

 

[Flatiowa]

I was a grunt at a production facility that ran two separate product lines, one about 65 employees the other had 8 or so. One Friday one of the cooperate head honcho’s shows up (extremely rare for the site), they have a meeting for all employees after production for the day is done, break room is all decked out, pizzas and buckets of broasted chicken, waiting on the tables. After about 20 minutes of everybody sitting around, eating and talking, people started questioning what was going on? I, being a young dumb smart arse, said “O- we are all getting fired, it’s their way of saying goodbye, eat your chicken and get the f out” joking. A few minutes later the big wig and the department managers walk in the break room and start handing envelopes to people telling them to wait to open them, everybody but about 9 people got one then explained they are going a new direction with the company and that if they received an envelope it was their last day. Two days latter the driver-side window of my pickup was shot out in my driveway. (Rural acerage in a very small community, I didn’t even report it, I have no doubt in my mind it was because of the “joke” I said).

 

[Barrett50]

I knew I was getting laid off. It was no secret our dept was shrinking and I was pretty much the last guy with the skill set they no longer needed. By coincidence it was also company bowling night. I'm a crappy bowler(left handed at that), so I never tossed a ball but I always showed up at the alleys in the evening and bought a few beers, and told some tech stories.

So, we're in the cube with the big boss and he's kind of shaky, he's been doing lay-offs for a few hours. I was plenty calm, I could get another job in a day or two. He's going through the package, and I'm just relaxing and taking the strain off him, I can tell he's feeling lousy. We get done, shake hands, and I head out. Took my stuff home and hopped back in the car and went to the bowling alley. It was really gloomy but most of the guys who missed the layoff were there. Man, they were shocked I showed up! One team lost 3 guys, so I actually had to stand in and bowl that night.

I told them all to relax, things are fine - I have a line on a job and I'll be back with a competitor in a few days. The boss is thanking me for being so understanding, and kind a sudden, his wife starts crying; "You don't know how HARD it's been for him! All those people, and Floyd had to talk to all of them!" She's whining along, and the boss looks at me - and we both bust out laughing our ass off! Yeah, hon - it's really been hard, telling all those people they no longer have a job. One of those days things just fit together so strange.

 

[Albany Tom]

When I was doing IT consulting, I had a couple of customers that were local radio stations. I think it started because we weren't afraid to run Ethernet a couple of hundred yards from a 50kW AM antenna. That was kind of interesting. Anyway, they still had overnight DJs then. Also back then were 900 sex numbers rather than Internet porn. You guessed it...this guy is calling the 900 numbers from the studio, when he's the only guy in the building and on the air at time, between calls. Not sure how he thought that was going to work out for him, but suspect drinking was involved.

 

[Craig]

Local helicopter company is known for rapid layoffs and rehires. A friend and a good work friend of his were told to not punch in one morning. Just prior to shift start, they are told they are being laid off. My buddy is cool with it, as he's been there for many years and done this before. His pal is a little freaked as he is on his motorcycle that day and has no way of getting his tool box home. They put it in my buddies van and decide to head to the VFW hall for a beer and a steak to celebrate. My buddy gets home about 10 am and his mom tells him that he's had at least a dozen call from HR at the plant already. He calls HR, they tell him that he's already been recalled and they want him to come in and work a split shift. He says he can't and they ask why..his response is that he's just finishing his 5th beer of the morning. Long pause on the other end, then they say to be in at regular time tomorrow. He goes the next day and finds out that's he on a commercial production contract now and his work area is 25 feet and across a painted line on the floor from where he was laid off the day before.

 

[DaleB]

Back in the days when the dot-com bubble was popping, my company (a large online brokerage) was doing a round of layoffs. I was managing a team at the time. The company was giving the departed a very generous separation package. A couple days into the exercise, we got a message from upper management and HR that anyone asking to be included in the layoff would be fired and get nothing.

Naturally a couple of my folks had already asked, but no way was I going to screw them over for it.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Once upon a time, there were two sales representatives, one male and one female. For anonymity, I'll say they worked for Szekely and Aeromarine. Their employers thought that they were sending them out into the field to sell aircraft engines and outsell each other.

But, it seems the two had made an agreement with each other not to compete for sales. Instead they used the money they were given by their respective employers to have a bit of fun away from home. This continued for several years until one of the two was promoted.

Then both companies that these two worked for started getting inexplicable telephone calls from the field. Calls asking why people were suddenly coming around trying to sell them aircraft engines.

With the secret out of the bag, they were both dismissed for cause. Sucks to be them. But it made for interesting conversation out in the field. Some of which might even be true

This sort of thing causes endless training about business ethics for the employees that know better.

 

[Racerx]

Hired the son of a guy that also works for me as a laborer. Kid had a terrible attendance record, which unfortunately seems to be becoming the norm for that age group. I suspected some underlying substance issues. The dad starts at 6. Kid started at 8. One day we see the dad race out of work. Apparently the kid who was 18 and renting a place with his girlfriend. She (wisely )broke up with him. He took a bar of Xanax and said "bye" to everyone on Facebook. Someone tells his mom and she gets to the place first. At which point the kid locks himself into his room with a gun. Then the kid calls the cops for an intruder...which was his mother. Police standoff ensues. Suicide by cop luckily didn't happen after several hours of negotiation. He spent a good bit of time in a psych ward.

Months later, being family and wanting to help her was working for us again. He was seemingly doing better. Then in a month he began to slip. One day at 10:30 he asked if he could go home cuz he puked. Told him to go home and not come back unless he can pass a drug test.

Literally 2 weeks later he was charged with murder with his new employers shirt on in his mug shot. He jumped a guy that was coming back from a liquor store. Beat the crap out of him and dropped a sandbag on his head. Then went to Walmart and tried buying a TV with the guys credit card.

Bullet dodged.

 

[Bob Noel]

Back in the days when the dot-com bubble was popping, my company (a large online brokerage) was doing a round of layoffs. I was managing a team at the time. The company was giving the departed a very generous separation package. A couple days into the exercise, we got a message from upper management and HR that anyone asking to be included in the layoff would be fired and get nothing.

Naturally a couple of my folks had already asked, but no way was I going to screw them over for it.

When working layoff lists, we were specifically told that we could NOT include people that wanted to be included in the layoff (e.g., I had one guy that was planning to retire real soon and he wanted to spare someone else the pain of being terminated)... only the poor performers were allowed to be part of the layoff.

 

[jsstevens]

I should probably mention that the absolute worst job, bar none, I had during my career at LockMart was selecting people for a layoff and notifying them. When the Army cancelled the Comanche program, I was managing a department and I suddenly had a large group of electrical engineers kicked back to me for reassignment at a time when I had limited openings to fill.

I worked many late nights trying to find assignments that would let people retain employment, I read every personnel file looking for skills that would let someone take a different assignment, I contacted my counterparts at the other divisions looking for open slots, and I hardly slept worrying about whether I'd exhausted every possibility and was doing the right thing. I got about 2/3 of the folks placed somewhere but still had to notify a sizable group. All notices were done in person, 1-on-1, in private, and as late in the day as I could manage to make it easier for the employee to go home afterward.

Giving notices is certainly better than receiving one, but it is still a painful, distressing, gut-wrenching job, especially when you have to notify people who are friends in addition to being colleagues.

I would say for me (everyone is different), I'd rather receive one than have to give them. And I've done both.

 

[Barrett50]

AS a side note to this thread, there's a movie about a company that does layoffs for large corps. It's a cute movie, but the main attraction is the female lead. Her name is Vera Farmiga, and she is extra tasty.

Rent or stream.

Up in the Air (2009) | Rotten Tomatoes

An idea from a young, new co-worker (Anna Kendrick) would put an end to the constant travel of corporate downsizer Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), so he takes her on a tour to demonstrate the importance of face-to-face meetings with those they must fire. While mentoring his colleague, he arranges...

www.rottentomatoes.com

 

[Matthew]

A buddy of mine had to be the hatchet-man for his company when they were restructuring. After that was over, his boss told him, “I can get two new-hires for the cost of you”, and just like that his 20+ years was done.

 

[AV8R_87]

After that was over, his boss told him, “I can get two new-hires for the cost of you”, and just

That's the definition of a d-bag move.

 

[kyleb]

A buddy of mine had to be the hatchet-man for his company when they were restructuring. After that was over, his boss told him, “I can get two new-hires for the cost of you”, and just like that his 20+ years was done.

A buddy of mine was appointed the hatchet man as they decommissioned a large factory over a months long period. As soon as that decision was made, he knew he'd be the last to go, but the writing was on the wall for him too.

 

[JackL-3J]

Not really a weird way. Just people being people in CYA mode all the time.

Many years ago a friend's child was in his last year of E-school and obtained an internship. He told his dad he wasn't all that thrilled with the internship, because his bosses weren't really doing anything.

After several months the guy in charge retired, having spent half of the allotted time and 40% of the allotted funds to produce absolutely no usable product whatsoever.

As the young man was graduating, the big boss offered him the paid job of completing the project. An offer too good to be true, starting out with a major company being in charge of a significant project.

He worked his butt off to get the project completed. It came in under time and under budget from the time he had been hired and put in charge. But, of course, it came in over budget and over time since his predecessor had depleted both.

He was fired, but got the last laugh. Because he had made lots of contacts in the field and impressed some influential people during his short stay there.

 

[DJTorrente]

A buddy of mine had to be the hatchet-man for his company when they were restructuring. After that was over, his boss told him, “I can get two new-hires for the cost of you”, and just like that his 20+ years was done.

Boss really said that? Perfect material for an age-related wrongful termination case, especially to an employee with 20 years' experience.

When working layoff lists, we were specifically told that we could NOT include people that wanted to be included in the layoff (e.g., I had one guy that was planning to retire real soon and he wanted to spare someone else the pain of being terminated)... only the poor performers were allowed to be part of the layoff.

I understand not wanting to pay a premium to separate from someone who was going to go for free on their own, but that seems very short sighted. The high-performer retiree would presumably leave a hole to be filled. I would think the cost of training up a replacement "off the street" would be much more than the cost of one more package. Company would be better off keeping the next worker on the layoff bubble.

 

[MauleSkinner]

I understand not wanting to pay a premium to separate from someone who was going to go for free on their own, but that seems very short sighted. The high-performer retiree would presumably leave a hole to be filled. I would think the cost of training up a replacement "off the street" would be much more than the cost of one more package. Company would be better off keeping the next worker on the layoff bubble.

Someone performing poorly enough to fall into a poor performer layoff probably would be a bottomless pit of training costs to get him up to snuff as a replacement.

 

[wanttaja]

Having started at Boeing in 1981, I heard several stories about the big layoffs in the '70s. In one case, the boss called an employee in to give him his layoff notice. As he paged through the stack of notices to find the man's, the boss found his own.....

Boeing did get a bit smarter after this. During a downturn in the '90s, the company offered "golden parachutes" to those who were willing to leave. Drawback here is that the persons more likely to take the offer were the better engineers, confident in their abilities and looking forward to new challenges.

Always thought that a high security clearance would give some immunity to layoff; if the company had to spend a half-million to get our clearances, it would be more reluctant to let us go. This was disproved in the mid-2010s; we lost a proposal, and several of my friends got laid off. Wasn't so bad for most of them; near retirement age anyway, and Boeing offered a pretty good severance package (IIRC, it was like a year's salary). Friend of mine moved to Florida and bought a boat.....

Ron Wanttaja

 

[JackL-3J]

. . . . Friend of mine moved to Florida and bought a boat . . .

I could see that.

 

[X3 Skier]

Back in the day, the USAF had a RIF (Reduction in Force) aka layoff. They were offering early retirement for those willing and eligible including a small bonus.

I got a letter from HR to get in the program so I said yes. First HR response was “your pension will be reduced”. I said OK. Next response was “you’re not eligible for the bonus”. I again said OK. Third response “you will forfeit any saved leave” I said OK. Last response from HR “you’re not eligible because you’re too high a rank”.

Retired on schedule five years later.

 

[flyingcheesehead]

A buddy of mine had to be the hatchet-man for his company when they were restructuring. After that was over, his boss told him, “I can get two new-hires for the cost of you”, and just like that his 20+ years was done.

Hah... Reminds me of a place I worked. Original boss was a really good guy, which was frankly the reason I took the job there in the first place. Dunno if he saw the writing on the wall, but around the time of the company owner's death he jumped ship.

Well, he got replaced by a guy who was a total d-bag, had no business in a management position, treated everyone under him on the org chart with derision, pretty much the opposite of his predecessor. When the original owner's kids decided to drastically downsize the business (by about 80%), he was obviously gleeful when he was letting people go.

But, before I was gone, I got to see him after he got let go. It was obvious his ego didn't even let him suspect that was a possibility. I didn't feel so bad after that.

 

[brcase]

kid had a terrible attendance record, which unfortunately seems to be becoming the norm for that age group

Friend of mind, now in her 30's working successfully in real estate, once was telling me about get getting her 1st job as a teenager. She thought it was very cool that she had a job, the thing that hadn't registered to her as a teenager was that getting a job meant you had to show up everyday. Obviously the job didn't last very long.

only the poor performers were allowed to be part of the layoff.

I worked for a company that made the mistake of publicly saying they were laying off low performers. Problem was it was pretty obvious that they were laying off some pretty talented people. Those people were smart enough start a class action law suit for slander. Since all the people that were laid off, were now trying to get jobs with a job history of being laid of from a company that publicly stated it was laying off low performers.

Brian