Skip, i just got off the phone with em' over at Sporty's and unfortunately they were fresh out of Landing Flares......But i managed to score the last POH for pretty women, so now hopefully i can land one of them a little smoother
The MSDS is not a POH even though they try to pass it off as one:
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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System
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Substance: Woman
Chemical System: Wo
Manufacturer: God
Typical Size: Average weight 115 lbs.; specimens can vary
from 90 to over 200 lbs.
Occurrence: Large quantities found in urban areas and
shopping malls.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
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1. Surface Tension--soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
8. Yields to pressure applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarminly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to
reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
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1. Has affinity for gold, silver, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.
4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known (See HAZARDS, #3)
COMMON USES:
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1. Highly ornamental.
2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned.
SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION:
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1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state.
2. Turns green when compared to better specimen.
HAZZARDS:
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1. May explode spontaneously without cause.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time.
3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards.