Excellent question.
When I went to college, I partied too much, so my parents cut off my money (not that they had that much to begin with). So, I started working and supporting myself, and when I re-started college, I was (amazingly enough, now that I was on the hook for it) much more motivated.
the way the system is stacked now, not sure whether that could work.
My wife's brother and his wife made it REALLY clear to their boys that college money wasn't available. They live a modest but happy no debt life on a single schoolteacher's salary. Small house, used reliable cars, nothing fancy.
One got nearly a full ride to engineering school on academic scholarships.
The other got a full ride to engineering school on Army ROTC. Plus a living stipend. (A living stipend! That's unheard of!) He decided not to take his path toward an appointment to Annapolis further when the Army made a better offer.
The third is yet to be seen in a few years.
Granted, parents seem more willing to tell boys the facts and not kill themselves paying for school they can't afford. But when the kids are brought up right and understand the value vs debt equation and how to work hard, there's still just barely a way.
Uncle Nate is immensely proud of them. The middle one took a job working for the local utility company this last summer and he was all excited that he needed safety boots. He took a tiny bit of his cash and bought his first brand new pair of cowboy boots with steel toes. I suspect he will use them to kick some serious ass.
And I've already explained to him not to get too much of a big head with that first set of butter bars, just do the job and watch the big headed ones screw up and be chewed by the Colonels... Heh. Every butterbar thinks he's there to save the whole Army in their first tour... Haha.
Anyway... There's ways. You gotta get through to the kids that they have to get personally involved even if they don't know what they want to be or do, and work hard enough to give themselves the best possible options...
I could tell when I met Tommy that you taught that kid right. He appreciates what his pop has done for him, even if he doesn't tell you. He enjoyed listening to all your doofus pilot buddies talking airplanes, and making fools of ourselves, you could tell he knew hanging out with dad at Gastons was something special. He will probably make the same mistake we all do and forget to tell you until it's too late. Good kid. Hope he's doing well.
