Most People's Default Setting Is "Off"

FormerHangie

FormerHangie

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FormerHangie
On Thursday, the guy who is our technical contact for our computer hardware maintenance vendor took most of my department to lunch. He and I both like to wakeboard. We also both have wives and daughters who don't want to drive the boat, so we're looking for at least one more person to hit the water. (Takes three to ski is the rule.) I brought the idea of our department heading up to the lake one afternoon after work to all of my coworkers. It's only about 40 minutes from the office, we could be on the water by 6, go get a good session in, be back at the dock by 8:15, everyone would be home by nine.

You should have heard the excuses. The worst one was from a guy who used to swim competitively when he was in school, saying something about needing to check his insurance. Insurance? We're going wakeboarding, not base jumping! What does he think is going to happen?

You know how you ask people if they'd like to go flying with you, almost all of them say no? It's not just that flying scares many of them, although it does, it's that for the most part they just don't want to do things at all. Their default setting is to not try new things, or as I think of it, their default setting is off.

Seems like a sorry way to go through life.
 
I hear u, although the last thing I want to do outside of work is see people from work. but yeah, people in general are a bunch of poosehs.
 
It's good to hear you are still boarding. I had to give it up when I was 55, by then both my knees had been replaced and they don't work worth a ****.

Keep it up.

One of my regrets is that I never got around to flying at Lookout Mountain. A few of your contemporaries would occasionally show up at Sandia Peak, and the stories they told made it sound like a great place to fly.
 
It is not just adults...my buddy has two teenage boys, both fairly active in sports... and it is like pulling teeth to get them and their buddies to wanna go out on the boat or go up snowboarding in the winter. I kid you not, one of his kids would rather just go fishing!

3393RP said:
It's good to hear you are still boarding. I had to give it up when I was 55, by then both my knees had been replaced and they don't work worth a ****.
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As I am getting older my body is also not enjoying the beating that ensues wake boarding...but give wake surfing a try, much less impact on the body. It is like watching paint dry for everyone else on the boat but a great alternative to giving it up cold turkey!
 
FormerHangie said:
for the most part they just don't want to do things at all. Their default setting is to not try new things, or as I think of it, their default setting is off
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Good points and I can relate. I think flying though attracts fairly "type A" people, and most folks are not type A. Most people just enjoy doing their comfortable day to day and being told what to do
 
Sounds like you're working with a bunch of soy boys
 
Maybe they just don't care for wakeboarding ?
 
Unit74 said:
I don't mix work and friends. My friends don't even work in the same industry.
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That's not a bad policy.

I once worked at a place that not only expected you to work 60+ hours a week but they wanted you to party with them also. If you didn't participate in their "social events" then you definitely weren't part of their clan. They wanted 100% of you and I just didn't have that to give.
 
Yeah I also don’t mix work with friends, bad exipienence ended that for me. I also wouldn’t have made up an excuse about it, just say you can’t go and be done with it.
 
Motorcycling has always been a passion of mine, but for the last couple years, I just haven't been motivated to ride, for the sake of riding, and as far as getting from point A to B, the car is a better choice if you plan on doing something at B, particularly if it involves hauling stuff around. Maybe I'm just getting spoiled with air conditioning, heating, and wind protection. Same thing with flying. I'm out of medical now (long story) but I haven't even been motivated to follow up with out of town docs for a basic med. Then again, I love bicycling, and I've pretty much been doing that instead.
 
A general statement cannot be made from one anecdote.
 
I used to be a "yes" guy; ask me to go do something and I was all about it. Now that I have a family, I get my fill of interacting with people at home so generally if I do something (fly), I usually prefer to do it alone these days. That's me speaking as an introvert though, extroverts are going to be a different story. I can find interacting with people to be exhausting, so at the end of a work day I'm typically done.
 
When was the last time you went and did something someone else asked you, that wasn't already a direct interest to you, to on the spur of the moment?

As for flying, almost everyone tells me they want to go, but they never seem to get around to it.
 
Salty said:
When was the last time you went and did something someone else asked you, that wasn't already a direct interest to you, to on the spur of the moment?
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I've done it a lot, but I like trying new things.
 
Salty said:
When was the last time you went and did something someone else asked you, that wasn't already a direct interest to you, to on the spur of the moment?

As for flying, almost everyone tells me they want to go, but they never seem to get around to it.
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A couple of them previously asked about going out, but when the offer was made, nobody accepted, same as you're experiencing. Also, if they didn't want to get in the water, that was just fine, or if they wanted to swim, or if they wanted a tube ride, any or all were available.

The last time someone offered something like that to me was probably 25 years ago, and what was offered was mountain biking. I took him up on the offer and we were riding buddies for a number of years. Finally my neck told me no more offroading, and I had to stop. Also, this wasn't spur of the moment, it was a "let's pick a day".
 
I know my wife's workplace likes to have a lot of social gatherings after hours, and she doesn't like going. After spending 40+ hours a week with her co-workers, she just wants to come home to relax and spend time with family.
 
timwinters said:
That's not a bad policy.

I once worked at a place that not only expected you to work 60+ hours a week but they wanted you to party with them also. If you didn't participate in their "social events" then you definitely weren't part of their clan. They wanted 100% of you and I just didn't have that to give.
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Me too. I worked for the USAF, still do actually.
 
I had a somewhat different work environment in that we often had lots of time to kill in various random locations. I always liked it when the other pilot had a suggestion of something to try, even if it was something I would not normally go out of my way to do.
 
Everskyward said:
I had a somewhat different work environment in that we often had lots of time to kill in various random locations. I always liked it when the other pilot had a suggestion of something to try, even if it was something I would not normally go out of my way to do.
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<----- eyes the 10 foot pole in the corner. Nope, not gonna do it. :nonod:
 
Sac Arrow said:
Motorcycling has always been a passion of mine, but for the last couple years, I just haven't been motivated to ride, for the sake of riding, and as far as getting from point A to B, the car is a better choice if you plan on doing something at B, particularly if it involves hauling stuff around. Maybe I'm just getting spoiled with air conditioning, heating, and wind protection. Same thing with flying. I'm out of medical now (long story) but I haven't even been motivated to follow up with out of town docs for a basic med. Then again, I love bicycling, and I've pretty much been doing that instead.
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I'd post the official Queen video, but it's NSFW.
 
3393RP said:
It's good to hear you are still boarding. I had to give it up when I was 55, by then both my knees had been replaced and they don't work worth a ****.

Keep it up.

One of my regrets is that I never got around to flying at Lookout Mountain. A few of your contemporaries would occasionally show up at Sandia Peak, and the stories they told made it sound like a great place to fly.
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Thanks. I don't have the endurance I had 25 years ago, but I can still get out of the water.

LMFP has a good group of people and it's a great place to be even if all you can get is a sled ride.
 
FormerHangie said:
I brought the idea of our department heading up to the lake one afternoon after work to all of my coworkers.
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Inviting people at work to go to do something is wrong in so many ways. Let me count the ways:

1. If you are foreman, lead, or supervisor, or sometimes fill those positions temporarily, or if you could become a supervisor, then some are going to say "yes" to keep on your good side. Should a "yes" man get promoted, and a "no" man get passed over, then trouble could ensue.

2. If you invite only your friends, and they are all men, and there are women in the workforce who don't get invited, then you are promoting the good ole boy network at the expense of the female employees.

3. If you invite both men and women, and it's some outing that involves people in bathing suits, then that opens a lot of pitfalls.

4. Should you serve alcohol, or stop somewhere for a cool one with those on the outing and some decide not to drink, if you make them uncomfortable by not providing an alternate, another problem.

5. Should the outing involve working in any way, such as passing on staff meeting notes, and some of them are union members, or even if they aren't, you may owe them overtime.

6. Many of the "no" may be doing so because they have a family and need to do family stuff after work and on the weekend. Sure they can say "no". Read #1 again.

P. S. Why would a contractor try to get on you good side by inviting you to lunch? What was his motivation? Do you have any input as to whether your company keeps that vendor or not?
 
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tinerj said:
Inviting people at work to go to do something is wrong in so many ways. Let me count the ways:

1. If you are foreman, lead, or supervisor, or sometimes fill those positions temporarily, or if you could become a supervisor, then some are going to say "yes" to keep on your good side. Should a "yes" man get promoted, and a "no" man get passed over, then trouble could ensue.

2. If you invite only your friends, and they are all men, and there are women in the workforce who don't get invited, then you are promoting the good ole boy network at the expense of the female employees.

3. If you invite both men and women, and it's some outing that involves people in bathing suits, then that opens a lot of pitfalls.

4. Should you serve alcohol, or stop somewhere for a cool one with those on the outing and some decide not to drink, if you make them uncomfortable by not providing an alternate, another problem.

5. Should the outing involve working in any way, such as passing on staff meeting notes, and some of them are union members, or even if they aren't, you may owe them overtime.

6. Many of the "no" may be doing so because they have a family and need to do family stuff after work and on the weekend. Sure they can say "no". Read #1 again.

P. S. Why would a contractor try to get on you good side by inviting you to lunch? What was his motivation? Do you have any input as to whether your company keeps that vendor or not?
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Analysis Paralysis. Think this post goes exactly to the OP's point!
 
FormerHangie said:
On Thursday, the guy who is our technical contact for our computer hardware maintenance vendor took most of my department to lunch. He and I both like to wakeboard. We also both have wives and daughters who don't want to drive the boat, so we're looking for at least one more person to hit the water. (Takes three to ski is the rule.) I brought the idea of our department heading up to the lake one afternoon after work to all of my coworkers. It's only about 40 minutes from the office, we could be on the water by 6, go get a good session in, be back at the dock by 8:15, everyone would be home by nine.

You should have heard the excuses. The worst one was from a guy who used to swim competitively when he was in school, saying something about needing to check his insurance. Insurance? We're going wakeboarding, not base jumping! What does he think is going to happen?

You know how you ask people if they'd like to go flying with you, almost all of them say no? It's not just that flying scares many of them, although it does, it's that for the most part they just don't want to do things at all. Their default setting is to not try new things, or as I think of it, their default setting is off.

Seems like a sorry way to go through life.
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IDK, but my brother took a neighbor to ski behind his boat. Somehow, said neighbor pulled or tore some kind of muscle trying to get up

Sued my brother for medical damages
 
I've got to say, my wife is one of the best boat drivers out there. It took here a bit to get comfortable, but there's no one I'd prefer more to slalom behind. :) She does a fine job pulling wake boarders, surfers and tubers, too.
 
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Zeldman said:
I can still do most of what I did in high school, just not as often, and it takes longer to recuperate.......
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What I did during and after high school is why I'm a busted up crabass. :D

Football, wrestling, downhill and slalom winter skiing, water skiing, wake boarding, climbing, hang gliding, etc. Heck, I even broke an ankle just dismounting my unicycle.

I should have hired a stunt double. :D
 
tinerj said:
Inviting people at work to go to do something is wrong in so many ways. Let me count the ways:

1. If you are foreman, lead, or supervisor, or sometimes fill those positions temporarily, or if you could become a supervisor, then some are going to say "yes" to keep on your good side. Should a "yes" man get promoted, and a "no" man get passed over, then trouble could ensue.

2. If you invite only your friends, and they are all men, and there are women in the workforce who don't get invited, then you are promoting the good ole boy network at the expense of the female employees.

3. If you invite both men and women, and it's some outing that involves people in bathing suits, then that opens a lot of pitfalls.

4. Should you serve alcohol, or stop somewhere for a cool one with those on the outing and some decide not to drink, if you make them uncomfortable by not providing an alternate, another problem.

5. Should the outing involve working in any way, such as passing on staff meeting notes, and some of them are union members, or even if they aren't, you may owe them overtime.

6. Many of the "no" may be doing so because they have a family and need to do family stuff after work and on the weekend. Sure they can say "no". Read #1 again.

P. S. Why would a contractor try to get on you good side by inviting you to lunch? What was his motivation? Do you have any input as to whether your company keeps that vendor or not?
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Yeah, why bother living and having some fun. :rolleyes:
 
Except my listing is not analysis. It is a listing of actual lawsuits and personnel actions that occurred.

And I didn't even mention the supervisor who wanted to promote "young and vigourous" minds in the work force. You know, those who like to have fun.
 
I have no reservations about taking co-workers flying. One of them was an inactive PP who started up again after he flew with me. I recently took up our HR manager. A former AF pilot. She loved it.
 
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