Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Half Fast said:
.....but actually attended the Sam Houston Institute of Technology.
:biggrin: :devil:
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At least it wasn't the State University of California, Malibu Adjacent..... GO Cocks!....

Or

The Long Island College of Math and Astronomy...... GO Beavers!
 
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True story: Driving in the right lane of the freeway - a pickup with ladder rack etc. comes down the ramp and merges right in front of me. Within seconds, off comes an extension ladder which lands right in front of me across the lane. No time to stop, swerve, whatever - just drove over the sumnabitch at 55mph. The surprising part is that I didn't blow any tires, rip off the muffler, or...
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
… off comes an extension ladder which lands right in front of me across the lane. No time to stop, swerve, whatever - just drove over the sumnabitch at 55mph. The surprising part is that I didn't blow any tires, rip off the muffler, or...
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My grandpa had a bit of a misspent youth…he admitted to hauling water from the creek in order to make a mud hole for cars to get stuck in so that he and his best friend, who just happened to be nearby with a team of horses, could pull them out for tips.

He also used to talk about “kids” who would put a rock inside a paper bag in the middle of the road, and when a driver would drive over it thinking it was just a paper bag it would take out the oil pan. I’ve begun to wonder who those “kids” were. :eek:

When he was 12 years old, he ran away from home to go to Alaska. He was forced to go back home after 3 days because he lost his 8 dollars…a lot of money in 1924, and I’m not sure it wasn’t ill-gotten.

Good news is he straightened out and set a good example for us kids.
 
There is a gap between the front and back sections when you bend 90 degrees at the hip.

Just make sure your dingleberries are inside before standing back up.
 
geezer said:
Just make sure your dingleberries are inside before standing back up.
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Many moons ago, over the desert, a flight of three Chinooks was conducting a night training mission. About half an hour from base, the captain in the lead aircraft decided they had to land, NOW. He jumps out of the pilot seat, out the ramp and disappears into the night.
5 minutes pass, then 10, 15, 20, 30...
Crew chief is getting a bit worried/impatient. What's he doing, admiring it?? Finally the captain gets back, doesn't say a word, jumps back in the seat and they all take off.
A couple minutes later, the crew chief picks up a really foul smell, so he uses his flashlight to look around the aircraft see if the guy stepped in it or something. As the flashlight beam lands on the back of the csptain's neck, he notices a brown stain and blurts "oh, you SOB!", captain's reaction being "what, did I miss some of it?" Apparently he didn't drop his flight suit enough, took a dump in it and dropped it all on his head as he pulled up the flight suit. And that's how he became Captain $#!thead.
 
AV8R_87 said:
Apparently he didn't drop his flight suit enough, took a dump in it and dropped it all on his head as he pulled up the flight suit.
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Reason #3 why I never wore the adult size onesie when flying air ambulance.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
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True story: Driving in the right lane of the freeway - a pickup with ladder rack etc. comes down the ramp and merges right in front of me. Within seconds, off comes an extension ladder which lands right in front of me across the lane. No time to stop, swerve, whatever - just drove over the sumnabitch at 55mph. The surprising part is that I didn't blow any tires, rip off the muffler, or...
Click to expand...
Many years ago I was driving my convertible Datsun SPL11 1600 Fair Lady (Datsun's ripoff of the MGB) on I-5 heading south across the Ship Canal Bridge in Seattle. I was in the fast lane following some sort of early version of what became SUVs. It had a forward-sloped rear window--might have been a Mazda. I noticed the window seemed loose. Then it began vibrating in its frame and lifted off. It was many years ago, but still, Seattle traffic was heavy. I couldn't move over. The window flipped over and came straight down in front of me. It was vertical when I ducked below the dash and crashed through it. The offending vehicle kept going. I pulled off at the Roanoke exit. Shockingly there was no damage but some scratches in the paint. I pondered what would have happened if it had stayed airborne another few milliseconds and some in through the thin ragtop.
 
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