Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Chrisgoesflying said:
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I will say, about two years ago I legitimately saw a young beautiful woman in a fine dress putting on lipstick and make up while sitting in her fiancé’s septic sucking truck as it was pumping down an industrial lift station at 7:00 at night. I think that dude found a keeper, but all I could think of was red green and “Rothschild’s septic sucking services” and I had to bite my cheeks to not start laughing.
 
Chrisgoesflying said:
Hey, at least AI can't take over his job - he turns sh** into millions. My parents always told me "money doesn't stink."
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To be fair to the dude, his rig was probably a 3/4 million dollar + vac truck with a built on jetter… he wasn’t hurting for money.. that service call alone was $3500 for about 25 minutes of work…….
 
Flatiowa said:
To be fair to the dude, his rig was probably a 3/4 million dollar + vac truck with a built on jetter… he wasn’t hurting for money.. that service call alone was $3500 for about 25 minutes of work…….
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If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. Or maybe wealthy. :)

My personal strategy has been to be found "in need of improvement". Since about the 3rd grade. Everybody loves a fixer-upper!
 
Zeldman said:
Fortunately, my wife's birthday and Valentines Day are just a couple days apart, so I only have to go shopping once to get 2 cards..:cheers:
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Wife's birthday 2/4, V day 2/14, and mom's birthday 2/18 so one trip for 3 cards!
 
Two old cattle ranchers in good ol Arizona had lived next to each other for decades. They shared a fence line, a watering hole, and more than a few arguments over whose bull was whose — but mostly they got along just fine.

One evening, Rancher Bill decides to invite his neighbor, Hank, over for dinner.

“Come on by tonight,” Bill says. “We’ll grill up some steaks and have a few drinks.”

Hank shows up, and sure enough, there are two big, beautiful ribeyes sizzling on the grill. They sit down, plates piled high, and start working through a bottle of whiskey. One bottle turns into two, and before long they’re good and lit.

Bill leans back in his chair, squints at Hank, and says,
“Hank… I gotta confess something.”

Hank raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Bill takes another swig. “All these years… every time one of your cattle wandered onto my land… I butchered it.”
He pauses for dramatic effect.
“I’ve been eatin’ your cattle for years. Never once ate one of my own.”

There’s a long silence.

Hank slowly wipes his mouth with his napkin, looks Bill dead in the eye, and says:

“Eat hearty.”

Bill blinks. “What?”

Hank pours himself another drink and grins.

“You have now.”
 
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