Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!
- Thread starter Let'sgoflying!
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Richard Digits
luvflyin
Touchdown! Greaser!
I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him
.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him
.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint
Charlie Golf
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Yes, my name is Charlie.
Charlie Golf
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Yes, my name is Charlie.
Lycosaurus
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MauleSkinner
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Mostly because Sabre tooth tigers find people who eat nuts and twigs more tasty.
Lycosaurus
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Charlie Golf
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Yes, my name is Charlie.
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jsstevens
I'm old enough for this to apply to me. I certainly worked on a lot of cars and things before metric became common here. But I never remember having the issue with 3/8" (or any other size sockets) that I have with 10mm. I think 7/16' was the most grabbed when I worked on cars with imperial fasteners...
Still, I get it.
GaryM
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Gary M
I assume you went there for a 5/16" socket.
Timbeck2
Final Approach
I see it, in the 8mm slot
I think I was there for something else, but I had seen a thread on the subject, so I found it amusing.
GaryM
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Gary M
I'd missed that. But if you are going to use a wrong socket for 5/16, 8 mm is actually the right wrong socket to use.
Lycosaurus
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MauleSkinner
Touchdown! Greaser!
Scary part is, I get nauseous from the smell just walking into a Starbucks.
RussR
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I find the pricing interesting also. Obviously, supply and demand, etc., but the 7,8, and 10 mm sockets are all $2.27, then 11 mm is $1.77 and 12 mm is $1.97, only gets back above $2.27 (to $2.47) with the 13 mm.
I didn't notice that!
Lycosaurus
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MauleSkinner
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I was in the restroom at work the other day, and heard Michael Jackson singing, “I always feel like somebody’s watching me.”
(Yes, I know it wasn’t his song, but he’s the one who sang those words)
The guy's name is Rockwell...
EdFred
Taxi to Parking
Nope. He didn't sing that part. Reading is hard.
MauleSkinner
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Lycosaurus
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Meme Curator
If you listen carefully, you can hear both of them singing that part.. Of course, Michael's part was mixed louder so that the song would get more air time...
Lycosaurus
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AggieMike88
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The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in his burrito?
Because one more would have been Too-Farty
Because one more would have been Too-Farty
MauleSkinner
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I don’t want to listen that closely. They shoulda’ mixed it the other way.
Charlie Golf
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Yes, my name is Charlie.
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jsstevens
Nope. Fake. I see some straight trees in the background.
MauleSkinner
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So you think no straight trees would hang out with LBGTQ trees?
Lycosaurus
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Lycosaurus
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jsstevens
I would like to see the saw mill though...
MauleSkinner
Touchdown! Greaser!
Three moles are digging a tunnel.
First mole says, “I smell sugar.”
Second mole says, “I smell honey.”
Third mole says, “I smell molasses.”
First mole says, “I smell sugar.”
Second mole says, “I smell honey.”
Third mole says, “I smell molasses.”
MauleSkinner
Touchdown! Greaser!
Give it a minute….
luvflyin
Touchdown! Greaser!
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.
He begins the prayer but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.
He begins the prayer but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."