Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Bill said:
We live near a city park and often walk our dog on the park. Plastic grocery bags are ideal for picking up the doody and depositing them in the trash cans.
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…..except my plastic grocery bags usually have a hole the size of a quarter.
 
n2230b said:
…..except my plastic grocery bags usually have a hole the size of a quarter.
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I miss the good ol’ days when you could fill a paper grocery bag with dog poop, put it in someone’s porch, light it, ring the doorbell, and run.:cryin:
 
MauleSkinner said:
I miss the good ol’ days when you could fill a paper grocery bag with dog poop, put it in someone’s porch, light it, ring the doorbell, and run.:cryin:
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Now they'd have you on their Ring, and your Dad would be waiting for you when you get home.
 
n2230b said:
…..except my plastic grocery bags usually have a hole the size of a quarter.
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NJ has banned disposable plastic bags (and, inexplicably, paper bags) starting in May of this year. As a dog owner I'll be going outlaw and joining in what will become the rich black market for bootleg bags bought out of state.

I'm also expecting to see an enormous increase in the amount of pet waste that is no longer getting picked up.
 
GaryM said:
NJ has banned disposable plastic bags (and, inexplicably, paper bags) starting in May of this year. As a dog owner I'll be going outlaw and joining in what will become the rich black market for bootleg bags bought out of state.

I'm also expecting to see an enormous increase in the amount of pet waste that is no longer getting picked up.
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Great time to have a Tupperware business ...
 
GaryM said:
NJ has banned disposable plastic bags (and, inexplicably, paper bags) starting in May of this year. As a dog owner I'll be going outlaw and joining in what will become the rich black market for bootleg bags bought out of state.

I'm also expecting to see an enormous increase in the amount of pet waste that is no longer getting picked up.
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So when you buy a loaf of bread, what sort of package will it come in?
 
GaryM said:
They’ve grudgingly allowed food that arrives in plastic to stay in the plastic. Unfortunately we don’t eat enough bread to keep up with our dog.
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I recommend you find the address of your state representative and take your dog to that lawn for pooping purposes, rather than inflicting your neighborhood park.
 
 
GaryM said:
I'm also expecting to see an enormous increase in the amount of pet waste that is no longer getting picked up.
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It will dry out quickly ... come back in a few days and bring an old golf club! :biggrin:
 
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.

Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.

You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new p*nis.

They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. So, the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.

But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out.

If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.

It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.” The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?” “Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?” “Yes” says the man. “What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite kitchen countertops.”
 
Hawker800 said:
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Waking up early just to get... A worm... Never appealed to me much anyway. Ha.
 
GaryM said:
NJ has banned disposable plastic bags (and, inexplicably, paper bags) starting in May of this year.
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Wow, it’s true. Instead, they want you to use hemp bags:

https://cen.acs.org/policy/legislation-/New-Jersey-bans-plastic-paper/98/i45
‘The law encourages the distribution of free, reusable, machine-washable bags. It also says the state’s nascent hemp-growing industry “would be a significant force in creating biodegradable raw materials that can be turned into hemp-based bio-packaging.”’

I wonder if the hemp lobby had anything to do with passing that law?
 
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