Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.

When the powder puff was complete he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

"MEN NEVER LISTEN"
 
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Some people think they are really helping....
 
A young father in central Texas watched his small daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.


Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
‘They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
‘A Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.


As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped both spiders flat...... 'Well", she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that **** here in Texas."
 

That one I don't mind. This one on the other hand...
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Just play Cricket already.
 
Matthew said:
US Governors by eye color:
Click to expand...
That assumes an accurate data source.

When I was 18, I went down to the draft board to register. You stand there in front of the person who asks the questions and writes down the answers on the appropriate form.
Draft board lady: "What color are your eyes?"
Me: " I have no idea, what do they look like to you?"
"I can't tell you, you have to tell me."
"Blue"
She checks off blue on the official form.

So, I have had blue eyes (at least according to all government paperwork) for nearly 50 years. But my wife tells me that they are "Hazel". WTF? Is that really a color?
 
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