Gay Pilots?

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Ok..I know this probably isn't the right forum to ask this question. But since it's the only one except Medical Topics.. (which I don't think fits), that lets you post anonymously, I don't know where else to ask (maybe someone could move the discussion to Hangar talk after I post it). I'll apologize to the management in advance if this topic is off limits here. I know this topic can get explosive sometimes.

I've chatted/posted with some of you guys off and on for years now, but none of you know that I'm gay (at least none that I know of). That having been said, I'd love to come to some of your fly-ins and gatherings, but I'm afraid that if I show up with my partner, it could get ugly.. and I don't want that to happen. Meeting me in person, most of you wouldn't have a clue, but I refuse to go to these things without my partner, who is almost as crazy about flying as I am. I think most of you would enjoy both of our company once you got to know us.

I know some of you have strong religious feelings about the whole gay issue (and I respect that), and I'm not bringing this up to get that "is it right or wrong" discussion going. My question is:

How would most of you react, or think you would react, if one of the semi-regular posters on here and AOPA were to show up at a gathering and you suddenly discovered they were gay? Would you prefer they not show up, treat them the same as you would any other pilot without regard to their personal lives, ignore them, etc, etc. How do you think most of your fellow board members will react? How do you think the revelation would effect them later on the board?

I ask this because you never know what a group's reaction is going to be. A long time ago on the "other" board, one of the other posters got a clue, and I started getting hate email. I really don't want to go through with that again. Thankfully I haven't seen that person on either board for a long time. I don't really care what some other pilot's personal feelings are about my orientation. I care about what they think of my flying skills and my love of everything winged. There are gay flyer's groups out there, and I'm a member of some, but they are not as diverse, active, and have as many members as the "mainstream" flying groups/sites do.

I really like reading and chatting with you guys, but if showing up with my partner is going to put that in jeopardy, then I'll have do some serious thinking about whether or not to stay in the closet here, or not partake in the gatherings.

I look forward to your thoughts and comments (maybe :) ).
 
Personally it wouldn't bother me one iota! I'm a firm believer in everyone being entitled to their own life until they try and change mine.

I've worked with several homosexual men, even hired one who I knew was gay. He and his partner attended all our office "spousal" functions and at one point hosted an office party at their house.

The only time I was uncomfortable around homosexuals was when visiting Sea World with the kids and two guys started getting hot and heavy in the row in front of us and the kids started asking questions. Probably reveals something about me but that's the way I felt.
 
Unregistered said:
How would most of you react, or think you would react, if one of the semi-regular posters on here and AOPA were to show up at a gathering and you suddenly discovered they were gay? Would you prefer they not show up, treat them the same as you would any other pilot without regard to their personal lives, ignore them, etc, etc. How do you think most of your fellow board members will react? How do you think the revelation would effect them later on the board?
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I can tell you exactly how I'd react.

Same way I'd react if I found out upon meeting you that you were a woman. Or black. I had a roommate in college who was gay. Our bell choir director is gay. We have friends who are lesbian who are having their second child via artificial insemination. The only time I ever have an issue with homosexuality is when it's "in your face" homosexuality. Then again, I have an issue with "in your face" anything.

Your relationship is between you and your partner and your own religious beliefs. Your sexuality is your own business, and as long as there is no attempt to shove it in my face, I don't care what your persuasion is.

On the other hand, I find open displays of extreme public affection to be inappropriate in whether the couple involved is straight, gay, or really really confused. I'd be equally offended if a gay couple started making out at a fly-in as I would if a straight couple started making out at a fly-in. There's a time and a place for everything, and a fly-in is a place for pilots to talk piloting.

Now - as for how I think everyone else would react? Generally I'd like to think that most people would be tolerant, at least, of your presence if they learned your persuasion. I like to believe that so long as you and your partner showed appropriate decorum for the occasion, that everyone would be able to hang out and get along w/o it being an issue, and I further like to believe that if any person or persons decided to make it an issue, that the majority would find the person to be making the issue to be out of line.

After all - we're all adults - and part of being an adult is learning to accept that people can believe differently and live different lifestyles, and that so long as those choices don't infringe on our right to live as WE choose, and don't hurt anyone, there's no reason to get tied up in knots about it.

Do as thou wilt, and harm none. :)
 
I'm new here, but I'd react positively. I'm what gay groups generally call "straight supportive" - I've even done work with a religious gay-rights group as their technology coordinator for several years.

Try to land on the same runway in the opposite direction and I'll have a problem. Being gay - no issue at all.

If someone else is freaked out, that's their problem.

(I guess there's no better place to put this, but doesn't "Lessons Learned" seem a particularly poor title?)
 
I have no problem with homosexuals in any way. My only problem (and this applies to straight people as well) is when they decide to start with the public displays of affection. Holding hands is one thing, but once I start seeing people suck face, I get a bit annoyed. And once again, this applies to straights or gays.

The only exception being a wedding...people kissing at a wedding is expected. Still not something I want to see, but understandable.

I would tend to believe that in the society the way it is, that most people would be more offended by someone making off-the-wall comments about your homosexuality, than by your homosexuality itself.

Religious beliefs are important to people, but when a group of pilots are together, it would seem to me that religion should take a back seat to flying (i've never been to a flyin however, so I could be wrong).

Now - if your homosexuality could somehow interfere with your flying skills....that's a different matter :cool:

J/K
 
I feel The same as everyone else here so far has stated. Doesnt bother me. However...If you then say you were an illegal allien who snuck across our borders, to go to said flyin, we might have issues here... :p
 
Why would anyone have a problem with being happy? :D

I'm with Chuck. No issues if it's handled in a mature, non-flamboyant way.
 
You are who you are. My religious beliefs on homosexual acts aside, it would be flat rude for someone to make a scene in public simply because they didn't want to be around you. Living in fear of such people is no life. Personally, if there were something going on that I strongly disagreed with and didn't want to be around, I'd make an excuse and leave politely. Just being gay isn't enough to chase me off, though, or enjoy someones company any less.
 
Brian Austin said:
Why would anyone have a problem with being happy? :D

I'm with Chuck. No issues if it's handled in a mature, non-flamboyant way.
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I am with Chuck and Brian.

I would add that I see lots of guys at fly ins who fly together. Which ones are gay and which ones are not? How would I know? Why would I care?
 
One's sexual preference is not the measure of a person. How you treat me and how you treat others (friends, family, and strangers) around you; that's what matters to me. I would hope that you and your partner would feel welcome at a fly-in and feel welcome here on this forum.

Come to Gaston's and let's go flying! :)
 
My feelings echo everyone elses posts. Don't really care what your sexual preference is, I don't care what your religion is, and I don't even care if you like low wings better than high wings.
 
Whomever the original anon is, I think you'll find most pilots more concerned with your piloting skills than sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or politcal leaning. No worries from me anyway.
 
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Joe Williams said:
The high wing/low wing thing I quoted. Ya gotta stand for something!!
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Well, anyone who likes LOW WINGS is just a little off........
 
DeeG said:
Well, anyone who likes LOW WINGS is just a little off........
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Well, I'm still exploring my "High wing vs. Low wing" preferences (I'm ashamed to admit it). Had very little time in a low winger, but I'll admit that I'm low wing curious.

But as to anything else.. could care less most of the time. :)
 
DeeG said:
Well, anyone who likes LOW WINGS is just a little off........
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I have recently fallen in love with a low winger. I've got to admit, live on the other side is.... titillating.
 
ausrere said:
Well, I'm still exploring my "High wing vs. Low wing" preferences (I'm ashamed to admit it). Had very little time in a low winger, but I'll admit that I'm low wing curious.
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Come over to that dark side. Low wing that is!
 
Anthony said:
Come over to that dark side. Low wing that is!
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HEY! I was just going to write that! :)
 
Is that you, Todd? :D Kidding!!!

Can't believe you would have to ask such a question. I have never seen or heard of any gay bashing threads on AOPA, ipilot, or PoA webboards.

I agree with the comments made by the previous posters. Just as long as you don't try to kiss, sodomize or recruit me!:rofl:
Gary
N116RC
 
Anon,

My sentiments are the same as others.

Doesn't matter to me one iota either way. A person is who they are, and the orientation makes no difference in how I see them.

I've had friends that I know are straight, I've had friends that I know are gay and out of the closet, I've had friends that I don't know their preferences. There was one gay pilot/CFI that posted occasionally over on another board that works with a small company that I used to have a business relationship with - that's the only reason I know.

My attitude is this: if someone makes a scene at a gathering of pilots because one might be gay, then the person making the scene is being a boor - it reflects more on that person than anyone else. That's not the time nor place.
 
Gary Miesch said:
.....
I have never seen or heard of any gay bashing threads on AOPA, ipilot, or PoA webboards.
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A few years ago a pilot posted anonymously on the other board requesting information about a gay pilots' group and got thoroughly trashed. It was rather sad. I have seen other posts in the past which were anti-gay enough that a pilot I know who is gay quit even logging on there.
 
Edit: if anyone is offended by this, I will gladly delete it...
---------------------------------------------
man, I'm gonna regret this...I just know I am... My religious beliefs aside, why do I have to know someone's gay? Why does it have to become an issue? Why, oh why must it even be brought up? I don't bring up my sexual orientation - it's not something that I feel is open for public discussion, so why must others feel compelled to bring it up? Is it a sly way to seek tacit approval? I am so sick of corporate tolerance training, alternative awareness and all the other "none of my business, none of your business" garbage that continues to be made a "big deal", which, in my opinion, has no place in the workplace or the schools. It's not a public discussion topic, it's not a legislative topic, it's a private topic - keep it that way! I'm tired of government mandates that insist I have my nose rubbed in alternative lifestyles that I am not interested in and have no desire to hear about. A person can be socially accepted or not based on their behavours in that social setting - a group of pilots is a group of pilots...why slant the setting any other way?

The previous rant is my own personal opinion, applicable to me and only me, and should not be construed as bashing any particular person or belief.

On a lighter note...

http://www.jokething.com/jokes/11/11001

An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans,
spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked
him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I have
spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses,
mending fences. I guess I am."

After a short while, he asked her what she was.

She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I
eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of
women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out
that I'm a lesbian."
 
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Who cares? Who would even know? Hey, it is 2005!
Come to Gaston's or any other fly-in we have. We're grown-ups, we welcome any nice people.
 
I agree with the others. It doesn't matter to me in the least. It's a flying get together. Talk about aeroplanes, generally shoot the breeze, have a good time and go fly. You could be green with teal stripes and orange polka dots for all I care.

OTOH, if someone is determined to make a scene or behave inappropriately or shove something down someone elses throat (sexual preference, religious beliefs, political standing or any other out of place subject - this includes someone tearing into another individual for being different) that's not being sociable in a social setting which is considered unacceptable behavior.

Two same sex individuals show up together at a get together and behave like any other two people there, they're just two people that showed up together at an event they're both interested in or at least one supporting the other. Woopie doo. Non event. Doesn't even show up on radar and wouldn't matter if it was known at least.

IMO anyway.
 
Original Anon here.

gkainz said:
I don't bring up my sexual orientation - it's not something that I feel is open for public discussion, so why must others feel compelled to bring it up?
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But you DO bring up your orientation anytime you address your significant other in a public place by calling him/her "Honey" or "Dear" or any other term of endearment. Or anytime you introduce them as "My Wife/Husband" or "My Girlfriend/Boyfriend" etc. You may not intent to, but you do.

I DON'T make a big deal out of it. But I am out in every other part of my life. I don't run down the halls at work waving a rainbow flag, or introduce myself as gay every time I meet someone. I hardly ever bring it up, BUT, it becomes obvious when my SO accidentally calls me "Honey" in a public place or I talk about them with others. And I can guarantee you, it'll will happen at a fly-in sooner or later. There is no kissing or "making out" in public for me (and I don't like it with any couple either, regardless of orientation), but I'm always afraid of the reactions to the normal everyday interaction that the two of us have and usually don't think twice about. Sad I have to ask the question, I agree. But I thought I'd find out before venturing "out' so to speak. :)

I would venture to guess there is more than one of us on the Board who equally interested in everyone's comments.

gkainz said:
I'm tired of government mandates that insist I have my nose rubbed in alternative lifestyles that I am not interested in and have no desire to hear about. A person can be socially accepted or not based on their behavours in that social setting - a group of pilots is a group of pilots...why slant the setting any other way?
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Believe me, I don't want the topic to get into the political/religious discussion we are ALL pretty tired of hearing and reading about on the topic. I only ask to gauge whether:

1. I'd be welcome at the gatherings IF my partner were to come with me, and
2. Who I need to have oxygen ready for the first time my partner accidently calls me "Honey" as we make out way down the BBQ line.

Thanks to all for your comments. Makes me feel MUCH better about planning to attend some of the functions!
 
Unregistered said:
Original Anon here.

2. Who I need to have oxygen ready for the first time my partner accidently calls me "Honey" as we make out way down the BBQ line.
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Heh - Freudian slip? How far down the line are you gonna make out?

Just giving a hard time there...
 
Unregistered said:
Original Anon here.



But you DO bring up your orientation anytime you address your significant other in a public place by calling him/her "Honey" or "Dear" or any other term of endearment. Or anytime you introduce them as "My Wife/Husband" or "My Girlfriend/Boyfriend" etc. You may not intent to, but you do.
!
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Amen Mr Anon.

People always say "Just don't hold hands" etc.... while they are holding their wife's hand & giving her a kiss goodbye.

I draw the line at tongue kissing wether it is your partner or your dog no matter what the sex.

Maybe is was from growing up in NY, Maybe it was being the theater industry, but I think nothing of 2 guys or girls holding hands. My kids see same sex couples all the time & they are fine with it. If one of them come home & says they are gay I will be fine with it also.

Gay is not wrong & it is not catchy. I have spent many nights in "gay" bars heavily drinking with friends. As soon as anyone is told that you are straight, they don't hit on you, but they still talk to you. I have never been asked to convert.

On a related side note.............................

The last wedding I went to was for my childhood sweetheart. It was the best one I had been to since my own. After 2 failed straight marriages, she married another woman & is doing fine.


Eamon
 
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Welcome aboard.......
Not a problem for me.OTOH, If you feel the need for anonymity, that works for me too.
were all airplane nuts first here!
 
I have a couple of gay friends and maybe a few more that I don't even know about. Now, if you said you're a Yankee's fans, well, those are fight-en words around these parts
 
Absolutely no problem with it, but can understand your concern. After reading all the replies, I'm just glad that while we all have our different views on everything, and we get at each others throats at times, we can always turn to aviation as a topic that we all feel very passionately and very positively about. Thus what a fly-in is all about, and thus why I don't think you'll have any problems at all. Sure, some people may do a double take, but as everyone else has noted, any problem they have with it they'll just have to deal with.
 
Unregistered said:
How would most of you react, or think you would react, if one of the semi-regular posters on here and AOPA were to show up at a gathering and you suddenly discovered they were gay?
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I'd probably ask you how the weather was on your way to the meet and, if you were flying a cool plane, I'd ask if I could crawl around in it.

I would probably refrain from trying to set you up with my sister, though. Anyway, she wouldn't be interested, something about being from Beirut?

Honest, joking aside, I can't see worrying about it. Too much real trouble to deal with already, without making new stuff.
 
...on the other hand, if you try to convert someone from high-wing to low-wing, or vicey-versey...
 
Your still a pilot, right? Thats all that matters in this community. We may bicker on lots of stuff, but are all united by the love of flying.

I have a good friend that I found out was gay, and he was very scared to tell me. It came out by accident, and all is cool. My wife and I invited him and his SO to our 20th annual formal Christmas party. He and his friend were the last to leave, and the friend was the only person that year that sent a wonderful thank you for inviting him. Thats class.
 
Anthony said:
Come over to that dark side. Low wing that is!
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If I've been a high winger all this time, but I fly a low wing and find out I like it too... does that make me Bi? :rofl:
 
ausrere said:
If I've been a high winger all this time, but I fly a low wing and find out I like it too... does that make me Bi? :rofl:
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Ahhhhh.....yes. :)

Kind of like at work we have a choice of the 'normal' keyboard or the 'ergonomic' keyboard. me? Im the only one that uses both regularly. What ever keyboard happens to be plugged in at the comm console I sit at, I use. I am now know as the only 'bi-keyboardal' dispatcher in the comm center.

Dee
 
Anon,

I'm seem to be with most of the board on the I really don't care boat. additionally I want to address the issue of receiving hate mail about it when someone from the other board suspected. If you do come out and you receive hate mail again. Please out the offending individual so I can lower his/her reputation and start ignoring them. I don't want to listen to anyone who can not treat someone with basic respect.

Missa
 
I agree with Chuck (well said!) and everyone else. :D

Peace

Terry
 
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