Donut Etiquette

I think the only proper, respectful thing left to do is to consider than anything less than a complete pastry shall be classified as a 'crumb' and can then be consumed without guilt by any party.
 
What is wrong with cutting donuts with a knife? It's better than taking a bite and putting the rest back.
 
How do you argue with that.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Reference the attached picture of a box of donuts. Someone, please explain to me the logic. I don't understand it.

As a preface, I don't eat donuts anymore anyway, so it's not a personal aggravation. Back when I did, the convention was to take -a- donut and eat -a- donut. Occasionally, and it didn't happen real often, someone would cut a donut in half, take a half and eat a half. I'm not a half donut eater. I'm a donut eater. I never wanted your half donut.

Fast forward to today. We have several half donut eaters. Actually, fractional donut eaters at that. That isn't even my issue though. I understand the logic, they want to cut down on portion sizes and control their caloric intake. I get it.

Well look at the photo. You will see that there are two identical donut halves. Trust me, both halves belonged to separate donuts. So you KNOW that there were at least two half donut eaters that wanted the same type of donut.

WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
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Answer #1 a finicky eater who doesn't want to eat after someone else's knife cut the donut or fingers broke the donut. So long as there are donuts left, I want half of a fresh donut not your left overs.

Answer #2 someone tasted the half donut and put it back.

Answer #3 someone is worried that the half donut was not kosher, someone might have fingered it or tasted it and put it back.

Answer #4 I do not like looking at the Sunday paper after someone else opens it up and gets it disarrayed. Donuts the same.

Answer #5 Gina cut the donut but remembered she had to pee, she is in the bathroom as we speak....don't touch her donuts.
 
Years ago when it was legal to smoke in an office we had a left over sandwich napper. We went out to eat at some pretty nice places with awesome sandwiches and we would always bring half sandwich back for 3 pm break to make it over the mid afternoon hump.

We sprinkled the sandwich innards with cigarette ash so we can see whose teeth turned black/grey.

The sandwich came up missing and one person went home unexpectedly, we think we found the culprit.
 
That would be tough for me to do. Unless we are talking about one huge, enormous submarine sandwich, like a stuffed 12 incher, I don't think I could bring myself to save the other half for later. Plus I don't like eating in the office anyway.

Yeah we had a food napper once. Really brought morale down.
 
Jeffrey Dhamer was caught by a food napper. I work with a retired detective who interviewed Dahmer after the arrest. The napper and his partner were in Dahmer's apartment interviewing him about a complaint not related to eating people, the napper opened the fridge looking for a soda, and found a head. True story.
 
JB1842 said:
Jeffrey Dhamer was caught by a food napper. I work with a retired detective who interviewed Dahmer after the arrest. The napper and his partner were in Dahmer's apartment interviewing him about a complaint not related to eating people, the napper opened the fridge looking for a soda, and found a head. True story.
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Wow, I think that would have to cure the food napper of his habit on some level.
 
Matthew said:
You might want to wait until after lunch.
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True. I saw copies of the polaroids Dahmer took of his last victim, the guy that the police didn't believe and blew off. Disturbing. Another of the detectives on the case is now a college professor, and is supposed to be writing a book. The story he can tell is very different from what is publically known. I once sat outside the empty lot where Dhamer lived (they tore it down after the crimes) on surveillance for a few hours. I got a creepy feeling from that.
 
JB1842 said:
True. I saw copies of the polaroids Dahmer took of his last victim, the guy that the police didn't believe and blew off. Disturbing. Another of the detectives on the case is now a college professor, and is supposed to be writing a book. The story he can tell is very different from what is publically known. I once sat outside the empty lot where Dhamer lived (they tore it down after the crimes) on surveillance for a few hours. I got a creepy feeling from that.
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The guy who went to the police - why did he ever go near Dahmer again? Why not move to another state?
 
woodstock said:
The guy who went to the police - why did he ever go near Dahmer again? Why not move to another state?
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The 2 original cops on the first call didn't believe him or didn't want to. AFter talking to Dhamer, they determined it was a "gay lover's quarrel" (which was what they said over the radio) and left. They didn't go in the apartment, this was in the street in front. He was killed less than an hour after this, and that was when the neighbors called in the complaint (was about noise or bad smell, can't remember for sure). Dahmer used to pick up runaways and drug addicts, so they weren't thinking straight in the first place. The cops were originally fired, but got their jobs back.
 
tumblr_m6ydcrlean1qewacoo1_500.jpg
 
Wow, from Donuts to Dahmer. I guess there is a connection, given what these people do to these poor donuts.
 
I have not read all the posts regarding this very serious problem that affects millions of office workers nationwide, so I am probably repeating an earlier suggestion. We must get a ruling from the local FSDO in order to solve this problem once and for all.

-John
 
Clark1961 said:
I suppose you won't even consider pineapple on a hamburger then?
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I like meat. I like dessert. I don't like dessert on my meat Um, no.

Somehow that didn't come out quite right....
 
Sac Arrow said:
I like meat. I like dessert. I don't like dessert on my meat Um, no.

Somehow that didn't come out quite right....
Click to expand...

Well... speaking of coming out... it sure seems like you have something to tell us :D:rofl:
 
Walked in to that one.

I've been toying with the idea of bringing in a box of those mini donut holes, just to F with the donut cutters. I'll bet they still cut them.

Or better yet - some sort of small pastry filled with a very runny liquid that makes a horrid mess if you try to cut it. Kind of like those chocolate liquer things maybe. Open to suggestions here.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Walked in to that one.

I've been toying with the idea of bringing in a box of those mini donut holes, just to F with the donut cutters. I'll bet they still cut them.

Or better yet - some sort of small pastry filled with a very runny liquid that makes a horrid mess if you try to cut it. Kind of like those chocolate liquer things maybe. Open to suggestions here.
Click to expand...

Bringing in donuts is a good idea. Go for it.
 
All right. These people have reached a new low.

They actually fraction-cut a freakin' COOKIE!!!
 
Sac Arrow said:
Reference the attached picture of a box of donuts. Someone, please explain to me the logic. I don't understand it.

As a preface, I don't eat donuts anymore anyway, so it's not a personal aggravation. Back when I did, the convention was to take -a- donut and eat -a- donut. Occasionally, and it didn't happen real often, someone would cut a donut in half, take a half and eat a half. I'm not a half donut eater. I'm a donut eater. I never wanted your half donut.

Fast forward to today. We have several half donut eaters. Actually, fractional donut eaters at that. That isn't even my issue though. I understand the logic, they want to cut down on portion sizes and control their caloric intake. I get it.

Well look at the photo. You will see that there are two identical donut halves. Trust me, both halves belonged to separate donuts. So you KNOW that there were at least two half donut eaters that wanted the same type of donut.

WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
Click to expand...

MICE.
 
Someone at work really caused a disturbance in the force the other day. Somebody brought in a bunch of cherry tomatoes and set them right where we save space for donuts. Pretty much everyone made comments about 'donut holes', but they actually did slowly disappear throughout the day.
 
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