Donut Etiquette

Dale Young said:
What a coincidence!!!!
This EXACT same situation happened to me just a couple days ago! I was at an office party and I was hungry enough for half of a donut but did'nt want a whole one , so I proceeded to cut one in half, leaving the other half for someone in the same situation. Out of NOWHERE, this old dude from accounting yells at me "You shoulda just ate the whole thing!". So, I turned to him and yelled back " Why don't' you eat MY whole thing you motha@&!*^% ! and while you're at it you can suck the sweet off my %@77$ you old @#*% !

Dang! ... I have No idea why that ol' guy got so cranky bout' a halved donut!!




:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: Sorry, I COULD'NT resist!
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The important thing is, at least you told him how you really felt!
 
Jeanie said:
If you look at the picture of the 2 halves of similar donut you will see that they are actually different sizes - albeit only 1/2 of each of the donut from which they were cut.... one looks to be marginally larger than the other - therefore, the extra 1/2 donut cutter and eater chose to have a "smaller half" than what was already availably cut
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Honestly, I did not pick up on that until you pointed it out. That changes the dynamics slightly.
 
Stop! Stop! You need to eat the half eaten Eclair out of the trash or this is a non-sequitor!
 
Well I know it's better to eat the broken cookies because all of the calories fell out. So maybe they cut them to let the calories fall out of them.
 
wsuffa said:
One of the rules of eating etiquette is to NEVER take the last of bit of anything. It's really fun at dinner parties as the remaining portions get small to watch the guests each take half of the remaining portions.... often a very small morsel will be left. :)
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That's how Democritus came up with the concept of the "atom":idea:
 
...and they say the Internet's a wasteland!
 
alaskaflyer said:
Here is another possibility:

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wsuffa said:
Did you have some TSA agents visit your office? :D:D:D:rolleyes:

One of the rules of eating etiquette is to NEVER take the last of bit of anything. It's really fun at dinner parties as the remaining portions get small to watch the guests each take half of the remaining portions.... often a very small morsel will be left. :)
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Is the above what happens if you take the last bit of something?
 
Sac Arrow said:
As a preface, I don't eat donuts anymore anyway, so it's not a personal aggravation. Back when I did, the convention was to take -a- donut and eat -a- donut. Occasionally, and it didn't happen real often, someone would cut a donut in half, take a half and eat a half. I'm not a half donut eater. I'm a donut eater. I never wanted your half donut.


WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
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This.

ps. that's a pretty serious knife for some donuts. Do you use machetes for community steaks?
 
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woodstock said:
This.

ps. that's a pretty serious knife for some donuts. Do you use machetes for community steaks?
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Haha! Yeah that is probably overkill for donuts but I'm sure the ladies just grabbed whatever cutting implement was clean at the time. But we do actually have a bigger knives on hand. Our breakroom is a fully equipped kitchen. We even have an expresso machine.
 
They grabbed whatever they could kill someone with who tried to steal their donut in a sneak attack. :)
 
This is turning out to be almost as good as the pee thread.

I once saw on the show "Pitch Men" that an inventor knew about offices and food (and people stealing food from the fridge that was not theirs).

He invented a combination lock food safe for your lunch in the company shared fridge. Genius.

51sPoNMEMLL._AA300_.jpg
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
This is turning out to be almost as good as the pee thread.

I once saw on the show "Pitch Men" that an inventor knew about offices and food (and people stealing food from the fridge that was not theirs).

He invented a combination lock food safe for your lunch in the company shared fridge. Genius.

51sPoNMEMLL._AA300_.jpg
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heh - a number of years ago we were getting ready for a Thanksgiving or Christmas lunch at work. The break-room refrigerator was full of stuff. Our HR lady didn't want to run the risk that someone would steal a pie or whatever, so instead of just putting a "Keep Out" sign on the door, she actually ran a chain around the refrigerator and put a padlock on it. All that did was make it a challenge - and an easy one, at that.
 
Matthew said:
heh - a number of years ago we were getting ready for a Thanksgiving or Christmas lunch at work. The break-room refrigerator was full of stuff. Our HR lady didn't want to run the risk that someone would steal a pie or whatever, so instead of just putting a "Keep Out" sign on the door, she actually ran a chain around the refrigerator and put a padlock on it. All that did was make it a challenge - and an easy one, at that.
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One office I worked in, a couple of folks installed video cameras - one watching the fridge, and one inside the fridge to catch the face of the perp.
 
wsuffa said:
One office I worked in, a couple of folks installed video cameras - one watching the fridge, and one inside the fridge to catch the face of the perp.
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Did it work?

In the last building I worked in, there was a dissapearing lunch problem.

And one person found that someone had taken her lunch, tried some, and put it back...
 
That gives me ideas for a sting .... UnKnown lunch thief steals apparently attractive but laced with something that makes you slightly ill lunch from office fridge, then they become ill and poof*! Thief is identified
 
We had a guy who stole somebody's sandwich, but left a note saying: "Thanks for the sandwich - it was deeeelicious!"
 
Matthew said:
We had a guy who stole somebody's sandwich, but left a note saying: "Thanks for the sandwich - it was deeeelicious!"
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I hope the owner left a note in the same spot saying something like "so glad you found it, I brought it in 3 weeks ago and completely forgot about it" (esp if it's lunchmeat) or "crikey, I just found out the meat was subject to a recall for mad cow disease, I'm so sorry, please go to the hospital".

Or something related to how it was made: "we have the five second rule at home and I found out when I got home last night that my teenager didn't realize that meant DON'T EAT OR USE IF IT LANDED IN DOG DROOL when she made lunch for Daddy".
 
woodstock said:
Or something related to how it was made: "we have the five second rule at home and I found out when I got home last night that my teenager didn't realize that meant DON'T EAT OR USE IF IT LANDED IN DOG DROOL when she made lunch for Daddy".
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If you have a dog, nothing lasts 5 seconds on the floor.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
If you have a dog, nothing lasts 5 seconds on the floor.
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Even better! "She had to wrestle it out of the dog's mouth before she was able to finish making the sandwich. Needless to say I am having a stern talk with my daughter about food hygiene. So sorry to inconvenience you".
 
A little Scotch Bonnet Chili sauce goes a very long way on a sandwich. :devil:
 
woodstock said:
Even better! "She had to wrestle it out of the dog's mouth before she was able to finish making the sandwich. Needless to say I am having a stern talk with my daughter about food hygiene. So sorry to inconvenience you".
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They just had a show last night on Discovery (the only channel I get on my TV that I will watch).

It was about the "dirty man" from Dirty Jobs being dirty. They tested dog drool and his drool. His was almost twice as germ-filled as the dogs.

Apparently, dog mouth is not that bad.
 
I think dog drool is more acidic, and kills more germs. Dog drool can also leave marks on car paint if your dog drools out the car window.
 
So you are saying that women shouldn't be in the workplace because of their eating issues? I think that sounds sexist, and condescending. I am appalled.
 
We actually don't have a problem with lunchroom food theft. I attribute that in part to the presence of large knives in the vicinity.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
This is turning out to be almost as good as the pee thread.

I once saw on the show "Pitch Men" that an inventor knew about offices and food (and people stealing food from the fridge that was not theirs).

He invented a combination lock food safe for your lunch in the company shared fridge. Genius.

51sPoNMEMLL._AA300_.jpg
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I've seen the infomercial for this, if someone brought that to my job, I'd steal the entire thing and return it 3-4 weeks later.
 
Okay. They're at it again!

Look at this poor fellow, he's been eviscerated, and he's bleeding to death!
 
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Wow - Chuck Norris needs to visit your place and set some people straight.
 
You need donut eating rules. Back when I had a job there were people who I worked with that were always trying to make donut eating rules. Frankly, they just liked making rules period. One of them was that you had to close the box. Then we all got on a health kick and we had to have bagel eating rules. Different flavors of cream cheese really lends itself to rules. :D
 
Doesn't Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, deal with this sort of thing?
 
Maxmosbey said:
You need donut eating rules. Back when I had a job there were people who I worked with that were always trying to make donut eating rules. Frankly, they just liked making rules period. One of them was that you had to close the box. Then we all got on a health kick and we had to have bagel eating rules. Different flavors of cream cheese really lends itself to rules. :D
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I suggested that once, and it was received with mixed reactions. In the end, the 100% of the women, who constitute 100% of the donut-cutting population, and approximately 5% of the office work force, have the ability to create 85% of the total office aggravation if so provoked.

So I let it go.
 
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