Corrupt my wish

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, it is priced reasonably, compared to what they charge in Europe.

I wish my work was done today.

Granted, it is. But it is tomorrow in Guangzhou, China. Your work is just starting there. And not with the sweet little hotties, you have to deal with Ghengis Chow, the industrial instrumentation lord of the region who happens to have a propensity to western white men for his pleasures.

I wish I could erase that miserable visual from my head.

 

[saracelica]

Granted, the visual is erased along with all your other memories. You start crawling around on the floor and babbling.

I wish people knew what I was thinking so I didn't have to talk.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, the visual is erased along with all your other memories. You start crawling around on the floor and babbling.

I wish people knew what I was thinking so I didn't have to talk.

Granted, now they know what you're thinking, they don't want to talk to you.

I wish those visualizations I had this morning about that tight little redhead on the treadmill in front of me could come true.

 

[Clark1961]

I wish those visualizations I had this morning about that tight little redhead on the treadmill in front of me could come true.

Granted, the visualizations could come true. But they don't. Just as things were moving along nicely you had an over-powering & uncontrollable urge to belch and pass gas simultaneously as a result of that triple whopper you had for breakfast. Needless to say, the redhead screamed and ran away.

I wish the Frankenkota would stop breaking.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, the visualizations could come true. But they don't. Just as things were moving along nicely you had an over-powering & uncontrollable urge to belch and pass gas simultaneously as a result of that triple whopper you had for breakfast. Needless to say, the redhead screamed and ran away.

I wish the Frankenkota would stop breaking.

Oh, my. That is a nightmare scenario. It pretty much described last Thursday, except for any sort of deal closing part.

So anyway, the Frankenkota stopped breaking. But the problem is, the Youtube videos of an airplane doing inverted dance moves set to 80's rap music was about to make you a LOT of money. Oh well. Sorry dude.

I wish I could just teleport me and all my finances to a foreign country. Thailand maybe. Or Belize. I hear there is a large vacant house for sale cheap plus Ted could fly the rest of my stuff there.

 

[saracelica]

Granted, they get teleported. But like on tv when it gets to Belize or your foreign country of choice the pieces don't get put together quite right. Sorry.

I wish the weather would make up it's mind. December it's suppose to be cold and SNOW!

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, it made up it's mind. And you are now a solid block of ice.


I wish it were dinner time already.

 

[John221us]

Granted, they get teleported. But like on tv when it gets to Belize or your foreign country of choice the pieces don't get put together quite right. Sorry.

I wish the weather would make up it's mind. December it's suppose to be cold and SNOW!

Granted, two storm fronts converge and you are buried in 10 feet of snow, stopping all business and forms of transportation. You weren't expecting it and all you have in the house is two cans of tuna and a box of Cherios. Enjoy.

I wish my A&P would get going on my plane, so it is done for the weekend.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, two storm fronts converge and you are buried in 10 feet of snow, stopping all business and forms of transportation. You weren't expecting it and all you have in the house is two cans of tuna and a box of Cherios. Enjoy.

I wish my A&P would get going on my plane, so it is done for the weekend.

Granted, he's working on it right now and it will be done tomorrow. But you find in the right set a BIG box of screws, washers, gaskets, brackets, hose clamps, small gears and random aluminum pieces that he has NO IDEA where they belong.

I still wish it were dinner time.

 

[N747JB]

Granted, he's working on it right now and it will be done tomorrow. But you find in the right set a BIG box of screws, washers, gaskets, brackets, hose clamps, small gears and random aluminum pieces that he has NO IDEA where they belong.

I still wish it were dinner time.

Granted it is now dinner time, and you are stuck working until 7:30 so dinner will be cold and dried out when you get home.
I wish my son would get accepted at UGA.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted it is now dinner time, and you are stuck working until 7:30 so dinner will be cold and dried out when you get home.
I wish my son would get accepted at UGA.

Granted, he's enrolled in the Uruguay Girl's Academy.

I wish I had one of those flying car things that actually worked.

 

[Clark1961]

Granted, he's enrolled in the Uruguay Girl's Academy.

I wish I had one of those flying car things that actually worked.

You do have one of those flying car things, it only cost you $2,000,000 and it actually does work for about two minutes. After that all the mechanics on the project just throw up their hands in disgust and stomp out.

I wish the IA would stop finding things that need fixed on the 'kota.

 

[Sac Arrow]

You do have one of those flying car things, it only cost you $2,000,000 and it actually does work for about two minutes. After that all the mechanics on the project just throw up their hands in disgust and stomp out.

I wish the IA would stop finding things that need fixed on the 'kota.

He did. Unfortunately, he's also my A&P too and you see what happened to my flying car.

I wish I didn't have a craving for Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese right now.

 

[N747JB]

He did. Unfortunately, he's also my A&P too and you see what happened to my flying car.

I wish I didn't have a craving for Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese right now.

Granted, but now you have a craving for a Double Whopper with BBQ sauce and bacon that costs $7.00 and you've only got $.45 in cash and $2.25 in your checking acount.
I wish I could think of a cool wish.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, but now you have a craving for a Double Whopper with BBQ sauce and bacon that costs $7.00 and you've only got $.45 in cash and $2.25 in your checking acount.
I wish I could think of a cool wish.

Granted, now your heater is broken.

I wish I owned a Roller Derby team.

 

[N747JB]

Granted, now your heater is broken.

I wish I owned a Roller Derby team.

Granted, now you have to figure out a way to make payroll for 15 screaming slightly deranged women, with $2.25 in your checking account!
I wish my paint job was done on Charlene.

 

[pbramlett]

Granted, now your heater is broken.

I wish I owned a Roller Derby team.

Granted, your teams' name is "The Vasectomizers" and they don't like you, the "sac arrow" too much.

I wish KA had continued with her roller derby exploits

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, now you have to figure out a way to make payroll for 15 screaming slightly deranged women, with $2.25 in your checking account!
I wish my paint job was done on Charlene.

Granted. Your shop instead applied the paint on a night club stripper.

I wish happy hour started at three.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, your teams' name is "The Vasectomizers" and they don't like you, the "sac arrow" too much.

I wish KA had continued with her roller derby exploits

Granted, but you know from her other thread she really didn't want to do that, so she sics the Vasectomizers on you!


I still wish happy hour started at three. I'd have six minutes to go.

 

[N747JB]

Granted. Your shop instead applied the paint on a night club stripper.

I wish happy hour started at three.

It does, but it's 3 AM!
I wish the stripper that I paid to have painted would move out of my hangar!

 

[Clark1961]

It does, but it's 3 AM!
I wish the stripper that I paid to have painted would move out of my hangar!

The stripper moved out of your hangar and into your home. Man is your wife ****ed now.

I wish IT gurus who think that changing a password every 30 days would realize how ineffective that "security" measure really is.

 

[Sac Arrow]

The stripper moved out of your hangar and into your home. Man is your wife ****ed now.

I wish IT gurus who think that changing a password every 30 days would realize how ineffective that "security" measure really is.

Granted, they now eliminated passwords and instituted retinal scans. Too bad that Lasik session went South and fried your retinas, now you're locked out of all your bank accounts, your Internet porn, and the POA.

I wish capital punishment was effected for hackers and virus writers.

 

[John221us]

Granted, they now eliminated passwords and instituted retinal scans. Too bad that Lasik session went South and fried your retinas, now you're locked out of all your bank accounts, your Internet porn, and the POA.

I wish capital punishment was effected for hackers and virus writers.

Granted, but they executed a 14 year old boy for hacking in Texas, it caused huge riots all over the country. You happened to be visiting Berkley when the riots started, so you were at ground zero and your motorcycle was used to smash a police car.

I wish I could take the rest of the day off.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, but they executed a 14 year old boy for hacking in Texas, it caused huge riots all over the country. You happened to be visiting Berkley when the riots started, so you were at ground zero and your motorcycle was used to smash a police car.

I wish I could take the rest of the day off.

Granted, it's damn nearly quitting time anyway and you just blew a day of vacation.

I wish I could clear the freeways of all traffic.

 

[John221us]

Granted, it's damn nearly quitting time anyway and you just blew a day of vacation.

I wish I could clear the freeways of all traffic.

Granted, you cleared the freeways. The police have you in a hot pursuit and they didn't want to endanger the other drivers, so they closed the freeways. You can't outrun a radio, though and soon they have you. Say hello to your old friend Bubba.

I really wish my plane wasn't in the shop and that I had to work. The clouds all went away today and it looks like a perfect day to fly somewhere.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, you cleared the freeways. The police have you in a hot pursuit and they didn't want to endanger the other drivers, so they closed the freeways. You can't outrun a radio, though and soon they have you. Say hello to your old friend Bubba.

I really wish my plane wasn't in the shop and that I had to work. The clouds all went away today and it looks like a perfect day to fly somewhere.

Granted, your plane isn't in the shop. Miguel and Santos are flying it to Colombia and they are indeed enjoying the weather. If you ever do see it again, it will never pass a DEA inspection.

By the way they charged a $10,000 prepaid fuel card to your annual bill before they left.

I wish I knew the combination to the lock on the aerobics room sound system. I wanted to play E40's "Carlos Rossi" at full blast while I stunted the stationary cycle (you have no idea how hard it is to wheelie a Schwinn Spinner.)

 

[John221us]

Granted, you know the combo, but you get caught accessing the sound system. Unfortunately they thought you were trying to steal the PA system and threw you back in the cell with Bubba.

I wish I could have seen you wheelie a spinner. That could be interesting.

 

[John221us]

Double post

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, you know the combo, but you get caught accessing the sound system. Unfortunately they thought you were trying to steal the PA system and threw you back in the cell with Bubba.

I wish I could have seen you wheelie a spinner. That could be interesting.

Granted, you were there. Unfortunately they thought you were an accessory to the sound system theft so they threw you in the slammer too. Bubba went for the fresh meat.

Wheelies are a pain on the spinner but can be done. Stoppies are easier but the consequence of losing your balance and doing a faceplant are a little bit more dire. You can do the tilt move too - balancing to the outside to prop the bike sideways on the floor supports. I'm working on a pivot move but I can't get it to spin more than an inch or two. (Disclaimer, spin instructors and gym management generally frown on such activities.)

I wish I bothered to take the day off for a flight up the coast. Maybe Obar at KLLR can drive me to some awesome seafood place in Mendocino.

 

[John221us]

Granted, Rex is waiting for you and you can't miss his orange shirt. Unfortunately the seafood wasn't exactly fresh, as advertised and you end up at the local hospital getting your stomach pumped.

I wish I was leaving for a four day weekend to Hawaii.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, Rex is waiting for you and you can't miss his orange shirt. Unfortunately the seafood wasn't exactly fresh, as advertised and you end up at the local hospital getting your stomach pumped.

I wish I was leaving for a four day weekend to Hawaii.

Granted, you are. In a smelly, noisy 1950's vintage Russian hydrofoil. But the trip takes 48 hours, so you have to turn right back around and come home as soon as you get there. By the way they didn't serve any kind of food or snacks, just one bottle of water each way. You nearly succumb to dehydration when you return to the port of Oakland. Then they have to hospitalize you in Oakland, you share a room with Jamaal, Malcolm and Otis. They decide you are in the wrong neighborhood and replace the saline in your IV with bleach from the janitorial closet.

Which, dyes all your red blood cells white. Since you apparently have a condition of all white blood cells, you are mistakenly diagnosed with Leukemia and the FAA yanks your medical.

I wish it would warm to at least 75 degrees for the weekend.

 

[saracelica]

Granted, it gets to 75 and then keeps climbing to 112. Your plane melts into the asphalt. Hope you didn't like the plane too much.

I wish my car didn't smell like pizza. I guess that's what I get for going to go pick it up!

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, it gets to 75 and then keeps climbing to 112. Your plane melts into the asphalt. Hope you didn't like the plane too much.

I wish my car didn't smell like pizza. I guess that's what I get for going to go pick it up!

Granted, Guido's Great Dane accidentally got locked in your car while you were picking up the pizza. And it had a really bad bout of diarrea.

I wish I didn't eat that apple fritter in the break room this morning. At least I got to it before the donut cutters decended upon the box.

 

[John221us]

Granted, Guido's Great Dane accidentally got locked in your car while you were picking up the pizza. And it had a really bad bout of diarrea.

I wish I didn't eat that apple fritter in the break room this morning. At least I got to it before the donut cutters decended upon the box.

Granted, you grabbed the bear claw instead. Your body is in shock from too much sugar and you briefly passout. Bummer, you now have to chase an SI for your medical.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

 

[Clark1961]

You are in two places at once. Your head is in the clouds and your butt is in your chair. Your boss notices your blank stare and you get to pee in a bottle and receive substance abuse counseling from HR.

I wish it was lunch time already.

 

[Sac Arrow]

You are in two places at once. Your head is in the clouds and your butt is in your chair. Your boss notices your blank stare and you get to pee in a bottle and receive substance abuse counseling from HR.

I wish it was lunch time already.

It is. In Phoenix. Doesn't do you much good though does it.

I wish I were more motivated to get work done today.

 

[saracelica]

It is lunch time at least here in the East coast. It was delicious.

I wish I had plans for the weekend.

 

[Sac Arrow]

It is lunch time at least here in the East coast. It was delicious.

I wish I had plans for the weekend.

Granted, you plan to clean the toilets and do yard work all weekend.

I still wish I was more motivated to work today.

 

[saracelica]

Granted, you are now motivated to work due to that 5 hour energy that some put in your your water. You work right through your weekend and soon it will be Monday and you'll still be wearing the same clothes.

I wish the people who called customer service would rub their two brain cells together.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Granted, you are now motivated to work due to that 5 hour energy that some put in your your water. You work right through your weekend and soon it will be Monday and you'll still be wearing the same clothes.

I wish the people who called customer service would rub their two brain cells together.

Granted. Except now that they are rubbing things together, they don't stop at the brain, and you end up with a string of endless obscene phone calls with lots of heavy breathing.

I wish I could retire right now.