Wow, as a parent that had to be hard to watch.
We tended to have very open conversations with both our now adult children (they’re 15 months apart) regarding money management. We’ve shared with them how to budget, how to plan for the future, what our finances looked like when we were their ages and today and what our journey has been to get through life.
Even when they had youth accounts (checking/savings debit card only) we stayed out of their checkbooks/statements and set the expectations that we don’t do loans.
Each had 529s to pay for two-thirds of the average in-state tuition for four years of tuition, books, fees, and reasonable living expenses. They had to make up the remaining third through scholarships, loans, or jobs. We agreed we would also match, dollar for dollar, any scholarship money either received.
One lost their scholarship at the end of the freshman year, switched majors with very little credit carry-over at the end of the sophomore year, and graduated after four years plus summers and another fall semester.
The other started college with a $500 scholarship that turned into a full tuition, books, and fees scholarship starting junior year. That one worked two of three summers, and graduated on time.
Both were fully employed (one teacher, one Army officer) within 60 days of graduating. The teacher’s salary was higher than the soldiers for their first three years working.
One reports to be 100% debt free, maintains 3 months gross salary as an emergency fund, and has 15% of gross income going to retirement investments. The other has a mortgage, student loans, and credit card debt.
One of the two “works to have life experiences” the other works because it’s a passion and takes pride in neither being a burden nor a debtor. We’re proud of both of them and respect the choices each has made in their life.
Both understand our financial goal is to enable the things we want to do while making sure the last check bounces as it’s being written to the funeral home. We hold an annual family business meeting where we review what happens in the event we should pass away unexpectedly. It’s simple right now, but is subject to change in the future for any number of reasons. Both are aware things will get more complex if/when grandkids come into the picture and why that is.