Way to go Cajun

denverpilot said:
Haha I think you may have missed the humor. Plus you need some old friends who did attend those schools in the days of whacking the students with rulers to get it. They'll agree they were more scared of the nuns whacking them than of cussing. ;)
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You're gonna give me nightmares! We had a friggin court and you'd get your sentence, which was a number of whacks across your knuckles as you held your hands out in front of you. I despised those nuns, I really did. Thankfully my parents finally put me in public school.
 
MAKG1 said:
Nope. Picking friends is your child's responsibility, not yours.
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I don't think responsibility is the right word in that statement. I would say that they are able to pick their friends within the boundaries set by the parents. The parents determine the type of friend, and the children get to pick within those boundaries.

You cannot raise a child without responsibility unless you wish to have a child who can't handle responsibility.
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Agreed. But responsibility is best learned in a controlled, predictable environment. A wise parent controls the environment and manages the level of responsibility given to the child.
 
Cooter said:
Picking their friends for them is a big part of managing their environment. And, it is very achievable. If done properly, it will more likely lead them to thank you rather than curse you.
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Yeah, my parents tried that with my sister. Went so far as to forbid her to date a particular boy. So, she and the boy rebelled by intentionally getting pregnant. That was a fun time at home!

My best friend in high school had a rigid parents who tried to control every aspect of her environment. They geniunely thought they were succeeding. She played the perfect child at home, and they basked in her morals and manners. After they went to bed, however, she was out the window, stealing her grandma's car next door and heading out partying. The day she turned 18, she moved out and got a tattoo. She's calmed down now... but I definitely remember how depressed she always was by her parents trying to micromanage her life. The irony is that if they had released their grip a bit and just let her breathe, she would probably would have been what they wanted.

@denverpilot I suffered through Catholic school. NOT doing that to my kids.
 
Cajun_Flyer said:
Yeah, my parents tried that with my sister. Went so far as to forbid her to date a particular boy. So, she and the boy rebelled by intentionally getting pregnant. That was a fun time at home!
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I had a friend who had a mother like that. Very conservative. Wouldn't let her wear skirts above her knees. When I would go to her house so that we could go out and do something I would hear her mother lecturing her. Just because SHE'S (meaning me) allowed to do something doesn't mean YOU'RE allowed to do it. They weren't going to let her marry her boyfriend until after she graduated college, so she got pregnant intentionally during high school to get out of the house. She never went to college even though she was academically pretty gifted.
 
Cajun_Flyer said:
Yeah, my parents tried that with my sister. Went so far as to forbid her to date a particular boy. So, she and the boy rebelled by intentionally getting pregnant.
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Choosing who your kids spend time with isn't the answer, it's part of the answer. If you wait until high school to start trying to influence your kids, your intervention will seem arbitrary and cruel. That's very understandable from the kid's perspective.
 
^^ the above makes me glad I don't have to try to raise any ankle-biters these days. ;)
 
SkyDog58 said:
My siblings and I were pretty much free range growing up. We could take off for the day on our bikes and as long as we were back before dinner, we were fine.
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If we weren't home for dinner, we had to do without. If we weren't home when the streetlights came on we couldn't sit for a week. We were free range, but we still knew our place...something that's sadly missing in too many kids.
 
Cajun_Flyer said:
They use our parking lot to do drills a lot. Before this year's Boston Marathon event, they came out and practiced how to remove protestors chained to concrete-filled buckets. ...
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That's some very specific scenario training. They must have got a tip of from concretebucketprotestsofamerica.com or something.
 
I didn't think Catholic School was so bad. Had a pretty good time, especially the Jesuit high school I went to. But then again, I raised Cain after school and at night at the street races and leaving the school parking lot sideways. On many occasions, if things had not gone just right, I wouldn't be here today.

My wife and I let my son pick his friends and he's done a fine job. My mom was Tiger Mom to me, so I ease up on my son. But my wife is a Bear Mom to my son, so he stays in line.
 
Matthew said:
Free range kids don't always work out so well.
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I was brought up mostly free range. Parents were pretty lax. Taught me right and wrong and never forced anything down my throat. IMHO this is the best way to raise kids. If you instill good morals in your kids and allow them to spread their wings, they'll respond accordingly.
 
mscard88 said:
When you get my age and your children are grown, they tell you things they did when they were youngsters that you were never aware of! All you can do is laugh. :D
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Lol. Yup. And I'm still pretty sure they're holding back the really good stuff
 
mscard88 said:
When you get my age and your children are grown, they tell you things they did when they were youngsters that you were never aware of! All you can do is laugh. :D
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Indeed. My son is 42 now, a full-time senior pastor and USAFR chaplain, so all turned out well. But we still hear (sometimes from the pulpit!) about things he did as a teenager. Oy.

:eek:
 
I have two wonderful grand children so I think I got passing grades as a parent. I tell this story often and get mixed results but here goes...

One day I came home from work and my 6 year old son was in the corner. All I hear as I enter is "You better talk to him." I quickly found out what the problem was (which I have since forgotten) and pulled up a chair next to my son and resting my arms on the back and said the following: "Son, you have upset your mom and that is not something we do in this house. Your brother used to do that." When my only child answered "But Dad, I don't have a brother." I picked up the chair, took a step away and then looked back and said "Not anymore."

He grew up to be a fine young man, currently a Major in the Marines working for Cyber Command.
 
I have a sign in my office and in the classroom that states:
One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men, but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man

My boss was doing a review on myself, she looked at the big cork board where that sign is hung, among others is a picture with the caption " I told her I was a nose wheel pilot, she says we should both see other men" she cracked a smile at that one then went right to the above quote and said " Chris, don't you think that is a bit sexist?" I asked what she was getting at and her reply was " well is uses the words men and man, you have women in your classes that could take that as an insult"
I told her that if this was the extent of her complaints then I would take it. The sign still hangs among the others to this day. I do chuckle every once in awhile thinking about that.
 
deonb said:
There's a difference in posting softcore porn for the sake of it vs. posting it to make fun of posting it. Its like how Russel Peters jokes arent exactly racist - but rather make fun of racism.

I believe that is what most posters here go for, but not always achieve correctly. Its a fine line to get right. The best example I've seen to date was Sac Arrow's "Asian Dating" screenshot. There is neither ill intent nor intent to arouse - but rather poking fun at the stereotype he created about himself.

It's hilarious when done correctly. But not everyone will get it right - so you sometimes let the bad in with the good. But it will be a very dull place if you give up the good in order not to have the bad - like most things in life.
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The "Add to Cart" button was shamelessly stolen from Amazon!
 
I missed that Sac Arrow post. Hahahahahahaha! Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. :)
 
I always find this a hard topic to deal with because, personally I'm not offended by things. Worst case it's a picture of something really gross I didn't want to see so I grimace and scroll past it... and it's gotta be pretty extreme for that reaction.

As a kid, my parents didn't allow swearing so I learned not to... at home or around adults/strangers. When I'm in a comfortable setting around the right people, I'll have the nastiest jokes and the most colorful language. I can turn it on/off like a switch... and since some people find swearing offensive that's an important skill to have. The thing is both as a child and still now at the age of 34 I don't think it means anything, they're only words. We're now discussing having kids and I think about this stuff and realize 2 things...

1. I don't believe swearing is a big deal or even important.
2. Some people do and the kid is going to need to at least turn it off around grandparents and such.

So that's what I'm going to have to tell them. "Look, I know it's just a word but some people get really upset about it. Just keep a lid on it for their sake."

You can see that discussion right here, there are clearly those of us who just don't care and a few people who care a lot. I can't personally wrap my head around why a word- any word or pictures of naked or nearly naked people gets some folks so upset but I can clearly see that it does so just to be nice I gotta know when to shut it off. The trick there, of course, for we unoffendables is knowing where the line is and since it's different for everyone that's a really hard thing to find sometimes.

This ties in to how I see how raising kids should be. Kids need to learn to respect others and to not cause others distress/harm/irritation. Whether it's avoiding the f-word around grandma or not being loud at a restaurant or just being generally considerate of others around them that is the most important thing. If they want to swear and tell sick jokes with their friends, who cares as long as they know when to shut it off.
 
cowman said:
I always find this a hard topic to deal with because, personally I'm not offended by things. Worst case it's a picture of something really gross I didn't want to see so I grimace and scroll past it... and it's gotta be pretty extreme for that reaction.

As a kid, my parents didn't allow swearing so I learned not to . . . If they want to swear and tell sick jokes with their friends, who cares as long as they know when to shut it off.
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^This multiplied by a thousand! I was raised the same way, and have a young one who isn't old enough to speak yet. Curse words and obscene images don't offend me in the slightest, I also don't believe that their use is in any way indicative of a person's intelligence or vocabulary. The important thing is to know when it's acceptable to use them, and that's almost always situational and company-dependent. The person with the filthiest mouth I have ever heard was a fellow drummer at OU (female) who could make a sailor blush. She was the daughter of a clergyman, which always seems to result in a child who is ultra-conservative or the polar-opposite, lol.

Side note: some of the funniest things to hear is a person who never learned to "swear properly". I had a friend in middle school/high school who never could string together a proper expletive-laced sentence without just sounding ridiculous.
 
Everskyward mentioned 'guys being guys', and I definitely tend to regress into that mode pretty often - especially around other pilots. I certainly swear more often than I should.

But I think it's a good point about making an attempt to keep this board as inclusive as possible. Not just for women, but also for folks that have their 'offensive' line drawn more conservatively than mine. It's a fine line though - I definitely learn a lot from this board, but I'm also here for the fun factor. It'll lose a lot if it goes stale.
 
kayoh190 said:
Everskyward mentioned 'guys being guys', and I definitely tend to regress into that mode pretty often - especially around other pilots. I certainly swear more often than I should.
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I have no problem with guys being guys at work as long as it's not in front of the customers. In fact I sometimes need to reassure the younger guys that just because I'm the same age as their mother doesn't mean they need to act like they would around her. Cussing is fine, and I can hoist luggage around just as well as anyone else my size.

kayoh190 said:
But I think it's a good point about making an attempt to keep this board as inclusive as possible. Not just for women, but also for folks that have their 'offensive' line drawn more conservatively than mine. It's a fine line though - I definitely learn a lot from this board, but I'm also here for the fun factor. It'll lose a lot if it goes stale.
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And that is my point. We have a diverse membership and I know for a fact that there are quite a few people who have their line drawn on the conservative side of mine. We would also like to achieve this voluntarily, and not through assigning people infractions or deleting posts.
 
Everskyward said:
I have no problem with guys being guys at work as long as it's not in front of the customers. In fact I sometimes need to reassure the younger guys that just because I'm the same age as their mother doesn't mean they need to act like they would around her. Cussing is fine, and I can hoist luggage around just as well as anyone else my size.

And that is my point. We have a diverse membership and I know for a fact that there are quite a few people who have their line drawn on the conservative side of mine. We would also like to achieve this voluntarily, and not through assigning people infractions or deleting posts.
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Jackbooted mods!

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Acrodustertoo said:
well is uses the words men and man, you have women in your classes that could take that as an insult"
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A University professor considers use of the word "man" a potential insult to women? Wow. If the word man is offensive, what about actual men? Maybe the school shouldn't be co-ed.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Those fardigan bastiges...
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You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. My own club!

You and the rest of your bastages can gamble, but don't try no fargin trick, otherwise you wind up with your bells in a sling.
 
Context is a factor as well when it comes to certain words. Take f**k for example. If one was to scream f**k after bashing his finger with a hammer, not offensive. If a person says "let's get the f**k out of here", not offensive. If a person says "You are f**king nuts" to a friend who does something crazy or dumb, not offensive. If a person says "I hate this f**king job", not offensive. If you tell your friend "I f**ked Susie last night", not offensive... unless your friend is in a relationship with Susie or Susie hears you say it. However, say "f**k you" to someone in an angry or aggressive manner... it may be taken as offensive. Yeah, I know some folks would find any of the above to be offensive but to those folks I say.... well you know.
 
Cooter said:
A University professor considers use of the word "man" a potential insult to women? Wow. If the word man is offensive, what about actual men? Maybe the school shouldn't be co-ed.
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OMG. I was carping on a mailing list (Yup, some still exist) about how the latest start trek movies have changed the line "...to boldly go where no man has gone before..." to "...to boldly go where no one has gone before..." as we all KNOW the original reference to man means mankind, as in all of the human race. The liberal PC **** storm I endured after that one.......O.M.G.
 
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