N
Nomex
Guest
I’m not sure whether this should have went in Lessons Learned or here, but I’m deciding to put it here because I it is medical in nature, and it’s actually quite on odd situation. I’m going to apologize in advance for the length of the post, but like I stated it is an odd situation, and I’m not sure where to go from here with it.
(Deep breath)
When I was a teenager, my hand-eye coordination was abysmal. It didn’t matter what it was, I was completely horrible at it. If I was throwing a ball, I might have been able to hit the broad side of a barn, if I was standing within an arm’s length of the barn. Trying to catch a baseball was an adventure in which part of my face or body would end up bloody or bruised. I couldn’t skateboard, or roller skate, and even shooting baskets with my older brother I was lucky if I could make a single shot out of twenty. My parents originally chalked up my awkwardness and inability to growth spurts, but as I was done growing, it didn’t get any better. But as I got to the point where driver’s education was on the agenda it really came to light on how pervasive my ‘condition’ was. I couldn’t even drive a car.
I would hit the curb, parking involved hitting at least one car if I didn’t have at least three empty spaces for me to put the car in, and I had tremendous difficulty keeping the car in my own lane. Finally, near the end of the first week, the instructor stopped the vehicle, and had me ride in the back seat back to the training center, and told me to quit. So besides never getting to play for the Lakers, Yankees, or Dolphins, I wouldn’t even be able to ever drive my own vehicle.
Fast forward a few years and things started to change. My older brother, now a police officer, and a few of his buddies took me out for my 21st birthday. Before that I had never touched cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs of any sort. I suppose that was one advantage to being a complete disaster as a teenager – I wasn’t burdened with any peer pressure to trying anything in that vein. But on my 21st we started to notice a few things. We were at the bar, and as I got a few drinks into me, the coordination issues started to go away. The walls near the dartboard were actually safe, and after a few rounds (darts not drinks) I was near the center with every throw. The next day my brother and I went out again, and we figured that the previous night was just one of those situations where once you’ve done something correctly, your body will know what to do when you try it again. Not even close. I was back to the uncoordinated me. I didn’t come close to hitting the dart board. So I was a bit dejected about the ordeal. But my brother decided to experiment on me.
The next weekend we went out to the driving course they had set up for officers training, and he and I got into one of the cars and he had me attempt to drive completely sober. It was a disaster just like it had been years prior. I knocked over cones, was off in the grass, jerky with the wheel, etc… He has us stop, we get out of the car and he pours me a couple healthy shots of bourbon. We wait about twenty to thirty minutes, he puts me on the breathalyzer, takes the reading and we go out on the course again. Sure enough, just like the darts, after I got a feel for the car I was able to navigate the course without an issue. Over the next couple months we would go out and practice with various BAC levels, and we determined that if I was I in the 0.06-0.18 range I was in my sweet spot. Above 0.18 and I started showing impairment. Below 0.06, and I started driving as badly as if I were stone sober. This became sort of spectacle and quite entertaining to the rest of the officers, and even superiors, and there started to be a competition of Who Can Drive Better Than The ‘Drunk’ Guy after I had my name atop the unofficial leader board at one point.
After talking with his boss, a couple of local magistrates, and being put under very strict guidelines I was issued a probationary drivers license. This went on for a few years, and after not having any issues, I got a zero restriction drivers license. I don’t drink every day, as I work from home most of the time. I have a breathalyzer that gets calibrated every month, and when I need to drive somewhere, I take a couple shots, wait about half an hour, test my BAC to see where I am at, and if I am in the 0.6 to 0.18 range I drive where I need to. In the twenty plus years I’ve had my license I have never been arrested for DUI, or any alcohol/drug related infraction.
What does this have to do with flying? Well, I had always wanted to fly, and after about five years of driving, I decided I wanted to get my pilots license. I never told any of my instructors about my ‘situation’ and there were days when I attempted flying sober. Those were the days when my instructors wondered if I had ever been in a plane before. But just like with my driving, if I am in the sweet spot, I fly near perfect. I got my private license and instrument license, taking both check rides while technically under the influence, (even though I was sober for the written and oral portion) but as 20 plus years have shown I perform worse when not under it. This was reinforced when I took my commercial ride, and decided that since I was going to be a ‘professional’ I should really do it ‘right.’ I failed miserably. I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t thinking I need a drink to fly, I simply messed up every maneuver, and got a pink slip. I feigned being sick and had the examiner land the plane. I came back two weeks later, this time ‘prepared’ and nailed everything to better than commercial standards.
Now I know some of you will say I am an alcoholic, but I often go weeks without a drink, and don’t experience any withdrawal, or need for it. Honestly, I don’t even like the taste that much. I only drink if I ‘need’ to play sports with my kids, drive, or fly. A few of you on this board have even flown with me, and I got instruction from one of you, and had commented on how precise I was in handling the plane. And yes, I definitely had a couple in me when we were up, if I hadn’t had a couple, you would have never gotten in the plane with me again. I have gone up with numerous instructors while out of town on business while sober under the premise that I haven’t flown in thirty years, and am thinking of getting back into it, but their reactions post flight were of that where they didn’t say I shouldn’t be in an airplane, but that’s really the feeling I got from them.
But now I’ve gotten to the point where people only look at things in terms of black and white, and I don’t want to leave them destitute because a collection of bureaucrats, doctors, and lawyers need everyone to fit into a neat little box. I agree that most people (everyone) functions worse when under the influence at a certain BAC level, and that the laws are there for a reason. But not everyone responds exactly the same way to every stimulus. I haven’t come across anyone else in a similar situation, and I want to see a doctor about this, and see if there is some sort of condition that I have, which causes a near complete dysfunction with (broad?) motor skills, and an improvement while under the influence, while fine motor skills are unaffected regardless, but I know that in doing so, I will have to walk away from flying for the rest of my life. Is there any sort of way someone can get a waiver, or take a SODA, or something where it’s not just a knee jerk reaction of “oh alcohol affects everyone in the same exact way, and there is absolutely no possibility for any exceptions.”
Again, I’m not dependent on it, and it’s not a withdrawal reaction. I had bad motor skills before I ever ingested my first drop of alcohol, and by accident I found out that alcohol to a certain point improves my motor function, and through over 20 years of experimenting I’ve found where I need to be to function normally in the motors skills area. Is there any way I can go forward?
(Deep breath)
When I was a teenager, my hand-eye coordination was abysmal. It didn’t matter what it was, I was completely horrible at it. If I was throwing a ball, I might have been able to hit the broad side of a barn, if I was standing within an arm’s length of the barn. Trying to catch a baseball was an adventure in which part of my face or body would end up bloody or bruised. I couldn’t skateboard, or roller skate, and even shooting baskets with my older brother I was lucky if I could make a single shot out of twenty. My parents originally chalked up my awkwardness and inability to growth spurts, but as I was done growing, it didn’t get any better. But as I got to the point where driver’s education was on the agenda it really came to light on how pervasive my ‘condition’ was. I couldn’t even drive a car.
I would hit the curb, parking involved hitting at least one car if I didn’t have at least three empty spaces for me to put the car in, and I had tremendous difficulty keeping the car in my own lane. Finally, near the end of the first week, the instructor stopped the vehicle, and had me ride in the back seat back to the training center, and told me to quit. So besides never getting to play for the Lakers, Yankees, or Dolphins, I wouldn’t even be able to ever drive my own vehicle.
Fast forward a few years and things started to change. My older brother, now a police officer, and a few of his buddies took me out for my 21st birthday. Before that I had never touched cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs of any sort. I suppose that was one advantage to being a complete disaster as a teenager – I wasn’t burdened with any peer pressure to trying anything in that vein. But on my 21st we started to notice a few things. We were at the bar, and as I got a few drinks into me, the coordination issues started to go away. The walls near the dartboard were actually safe, and after a few rounds (darts not drinks) I was near the center with every throw. The next day my brother and I went out again, and we figured that the previous night was just one of those situations where once you’ve done something correctly, your body will know what to do when you try it again. Not even close. I was back to the uncoordinated me. I didn’t come close to hitting the dart board. So I was a bit dejected about the ordeal. But my brother decided to experiment on me.
The next weekend we went out to the driving course they had set up for officers training, and he and I got into one of the cars and he had me attempt to drive completely sober. It was a disaster just like it had been years prior. I knocked over cones, was off in the grass, jerky with the wheel, etc… He has us stop, we get out of the car and he pours me a couple healthy shots of bourbon. We wait about twenty to thirty minutes, he puts me on the breathalyzer, takes the reading and we go out on the course again. Sure enough, just like the darts, after I got a feel for the car I was able to navigate the course without an issue. Over the next couple months we would go out and practice with various BAC levels, and we determined that if I was I in the 0.06-0.18 range I was in my sweet spot. Above 0.18 and I started showing impairment. Below 0.06, and I started driving as badly as if I were stone sober. This became sort of spectacle and quite entertaining to the rest of the officers, and even superiors, and there started to be a competition of Who Can Drive Better Than The ‘Drunk’ Guy after I had my name atop the unofficial leader board at one point.
After talking with his boss, a couple of local magistrates, and being put under very strict guidelines I was issued a probationary drivers license. This went on for a few years, and after not having any issues, I got a zero restriction drivers license. I don’t drink every day, as I work from home most of the time. I have a breathalyzer that gets calibrated every month, and when I need to drive somewhere, I take a couple shots, wait about half an hour, test my BAC to see where I am at, and if I am in the 0.6 to 0.18 range I drive where I need to. In the twenty plus years I’ve had my license I have never been arrested for DUI, or any alcohol/drug related infraction.
What does this have to do with flying? Well, I had always wanted to fly, and after about five years of driving, I decided I wanted to get my pilots license. I never told any of my instructors about my ‘situation’ and there were days when I attempted flying sober. Those were the days when my instructors wondered if I had ever been in a plane before. But just like with my driving, if I am in the sweet spot, I fly near perfect. I got my private license and instrument license, taking both check rides while technically under the influence, (even though I was sober for the written and oral portion) but as 20 plus years have shown I perform worse when not under it. This was reinforced when I took my commercial ride, and decided that since I was going to be a ‘professional’ I should really do it ‘right.’ I failed miserably. I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t thinking I need a drink to fly, I simply messed up every maneuver, and got a pink slip. I feigned being sick and had the examiner land the plane. I came back two weeks later, this time ‘prepared’ and nailed everything to better than commercial standards.
Now I know some of you will say I am an alcoholic, but I often go weeks without a drink, and don’t experience any withdrawal, or need for it. Honestly, I don’t even like the taste that much. I only drink if I ‘need’ to play sports with my kids, drive, or fly. A few of you on this board have even flown with me, and I got instruction from one of you, and had commented on how precise I was in handling the plane. And yes, I definitely had a couple in me when we were up, if I hadn’t had a couple, you would have never gotten in the plane with me again. I have gone up with numerous instructors while out of town on business while sober under the premise that I haven’t flown in thirty years, and am thinking of getting back into it, but their reactions post flight were of that where they didn’t say I shouldn’t be in an airplane, but that’s really the feeling I got from them.
But now I’ve gotten to the point where people only look at things in terms of black and white, and I don’t want to leave them destitute because a collection of bureaucrats, doctors, and lawyers need everyone to fit into a neat little box. I agree that most people (everyone) functions worse when under the influence at a certain BAC level, and that the laws are there for a reason. But not everyone responds exactly the same way to every stimulus. I haven’t come across anyone else in a similar situation, and I want to see a doctor about this, and see if there is some sort of condition that I have, which causes a near complete dysfunction with (broad?) motor skills, and an improvement while under the influence, while fine motor skills are unaffected regardless, but I know that in doing so, I will have to walk away from flying for the rest of my life. Is there any sort of way someone can get a waiver, or take a SODA, or something where it’s not just a knee jerk reaction of “oh alcohol affects everyone in the same exact way, and there is absolutely no possibility for any exceptions.”
Again, I’m not dependent on it, and it’s not a withdrawal reaction. I had bad motor skills before I ever ingested my first drop of alcohol, and by accident I found out that alcohol to a certain point improves my motor function, and through over 20 years of experimenting I’ve found where I need to be to function normally in the motors skills area. Is there any way I can go forward?
I think he's curious enough to want to learn what he can from your condition and is a really good guy, Aeromedicaldoc.com, the AOPA forums, or Facebook is where he can be contacted), and he would be in a position to help if it is possible. Worth a shot, and again, good luck.
